I let him back in & I found out?

I dated this guy for 3months we lived 2hrs away from each other. Before him I was in a relationship with someone who took advantage of me & didn't appreciate me. I stayed b/c he was my first so you know the attachment that comes with that. Anyways, I let my guard down with him & told him all the things I been through. He told me his last relationship ended b/c there was no growth between the two. We parted ways due to him saying we were on two different pages a year passed & he reached out, apologetic, wanting to fix things, missed our chemistry & me as a person. I didn't want to let him back in but old feelings flourished & I let him back in. After almost 2 months of communicating with him again I agreed to let him take me out. We met up for dinner & it was like old times again, laughing, catching up, laughing some more half way through I realized I had real feelings for him & I felt he had the same. Later that night, I told him he could spend the night being as tho we were both drinking & I didn't want him driving back that late. One thing led to another & we had sex. Couple days later, I was looking at his social media & seen him tweet "random thought my little shawty gon be lit". Immediately I got upset I felt lied to played with, & used. I asked him if he deals with other people & he told me yes he never mentioned it b/c he didn't know where this will go or if I would let him back in. He never mentioned anything about a baby being on the way & I know it's one b/c people were congratulating him. I told him I couldn't be sexually involved with him anymore, he told he understand cutting sex out b/c I'm not that kind of girl & should have told me from the beginning. How he still want me in his life b/c I make him "happy" I'm a good person I make him laugh & have a pure heart. I haven't responded b/c I don't know what to say my feelings are hurt b/c I feel like a fool


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  • Yes I think it was foolish to let him back in but I also think you were just caught up in the moment of old times and truly appreciated him. Your heart was in the right place but with the wrong person.
    He used you for sex despite you telling him all of what happened in the past, he disrespected you. He has a baby on the way with a woman yet he was willing to so easily sleep with another woman, he disrespected her. Of course he never mentioned a baby... he probably led you to believe he was single too. He's so selfish, just there to satisfy his own needs and leaves when things get tough. That makes me feel angry, you'd feel so used. What a fucking asshole.
    You made mistake but is ok, your heart was in a good place - although naïve. You need to learn to see the whole picture of people and not take them at face value and be too trusting.

    • Treat it as a learning experience though. You made a mistake, everyone does and that you will know for next time that you deserve better than that. You need to learn it though otherwise you will continue to attract the same people over and over, could take years until it finally clicks. Find your voice and don't accept such behaviour from guys. Don't beat yourself up though, sometimes it takes the worst experiences to learn the best lessons.

  • Cut him off of your life. Now.
    He clearly doesn't want you around only because you are a great person (even though I am sure you are!!). But you have him what he wanted: sex. And now even though he says he understands that you want to take sex out of the equation, he knows you gave it to him once and that he'll be able to get it again.

    Girl, delete him, block him, stop all contact. This is going nowhere.


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