First time should I tell him?

Should I tell the guy I am sort of seeing that I am still a virgin?
I mean last week we kissed and it was my first time ever for that too. Don't think he noticed or it showed in any way during my makeout session. But it got to the point where he was on top of me and I guess we were dry humping. And his hands got under my shirt and I kind of just said "not all the way right now". And he respected that. I am kind of afraid he thinks I don't want him sexually because of that now. The last time I saw him he did not initiate any touching of any kind and it sorta threw me off since we madeout so intensey 2 days before.
I am just not ready to give him sex right away.
We are not going out officially or anything yet. Just casually getting together.
Should I tell him the reason behind me stopping him?

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I think it would be wise to do so. If he doesn't know, like you said he might think you don't want him, or when it does eventually happen he might just go for it and it'll hurt more than it should

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What Guys Said 4

  • At this point, you don't need to tell him you are a virgin. You can tell him that you are interested in having sex after you get to know each other a bit more when it will mean something more than just 'I had an orgasm tonight.' When you feel that you are ready, THEN you tell him that you are a virgin.

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  • Depending on the guy, if it were me I'd want to know. Something like that is important to some people, and I believe there should be some thought on both sides before it's just, thrown away.

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  • Yes! Transparency is the way forward. That will help both to understand the situation and dynamics of your relationship 😀

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    • True.
      But at the same time I don't want to be seen as a fragile little thing he might break. Or even worse, some guys find it too much to be the first one for a girl. They seem afraid of it.
      Seriously, at my age, I don't imagine it being super romantic or like freaking spiritual or some shit haha I mean, I know the basics and I know what pleasure feels like. I just haven't had the opportunity of doing it with another.
      So yeah guess I am saying that I don't want to make it wierd!

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    • Huh guess I hadn't seen it that way.
      Thanks for the trick with the piece of paper. I will try it!

    • Nice! Best of luck 🍀

  • I'd wait until sex becomes more of a sure thing in your mind, but by all means, tell him before things get started. For now, all you need to say is, "I'm not ready yet."

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