Did I cheat? Please read the whole description?

So there's this guy I really like, and I went on two dates with him so far. We didn't kiss or do anything yet.
Actually I was still a virgin and I hadn't even kissed anyone yet, till last night when I was at a friend's birthday party. He was drunk and he started kissing me, and I didn't stop him.
I did it because I didn't want the guy I actually like and who I'm dating to think I am an inexperienced child, even though I am.
Now I feel really bad and stupid, and this must be like the worst first kiss story ever...
But apart from being really stupid, did I cheat on the guy I'm dating?

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Most Helpful Guy

  • well, its not really our opinions that matter nor should we try to justify because what it comes down to is the guy you like opinion.

    I think just be honest with the guy you like, and that you are actually inexperienced and a virgin and you didn't want to seem like some "child."

    If he understand or can empathize with you then he is probably a better guy than most however, that does not entitle him to take advantage of your insecurities. it can be a double edge sword but I think it is worth coming out and being honest because you'll learn more about yourself and him and his attitude towards you. Also it can also be a time where he shares his insecurities too.

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    • oh yeah forgot to add my bit on relationships.
      Relationships are a gamble, its risk and reward. we risk ourselves in the search of finding someone that can reciprocate your love back. You risk everything to build trust and a special communication where you are comfortable to talk about anything.

Most Helpful Girl

  • 2 dates isn’t enough to consider the guy a serious boyfriend. If you weren’t in agreement to be monogamous- which would be odd so early on, then you’re not a cheater. I assume guys talk to and potentially sleep with other girls until they tell me otherwise and ask to be exclusive. I’d be more worried about stds or pregnancy if you had unprotected sex. Also: a little deeper, you had sex forvall the wrong reasons so maybe take a step back and reevaluate your choices and make sure you protect yourself and your heart. I always say monogamy shouldn’t come before sex and there’s pkebty of reasons it’s a good idea. You live and learn though.

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 25

  • Unless you have promised someone that you will be exclusive with them, you are free to kiss (or even have sex) with whoever you want.

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  • He will probably think that you're not really into him much. So what's important now if you really like him is to tell him so and how you feel. And don't worry so much about if he thinks you're experienced or not. He probably doesn't care about that at all? If he truly likes you, that's not going to matter.

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  • If you were only dating someone and you kissed some other guy then it cannot be called as cheating exactly but it's still disrespectful towards the one you are dating with. It's highly disrespectful and inappropriate.

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  • You don't want to make a practice of kissing and having sex with guys you don't want for petty reasons... That's the equivalent of girl that gives a guy a mercy f*ck just because she feels bad for the guy.

    You cheated if you were supposed to not see, kiss, or have sex with other men... especially if he's under any of the same expectations.

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  • Yes, sorry to say anything intimate with another rather it be conversations of going above a friendship to the complete worst physical all you need to do now is tell him the truth and face the facts your conscience may kill you

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  • Wow. This is the dumbest thing I’ve ever read. Guys don’t care if you’re inexperienced. You basically just told us that you’d kiss someone you don’t care about. That’s slutty. How do you think the guy you kissed feels? Geeze get some empathy

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  • I mean if you had good intentions which it sounds like you did, I don't really know, I've never heard of someone cheating to actually benefit the person they are dating lol

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  • You weren't in a relationship with that dude, you guys barely started dating and aren't exclusive, no you didn't cheat. Don't trip chocolate chip

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  • if you are officially together no, it's not cheating. but don't go around kissing just for the experience, save that for him. We men don't mind, we won't judge you.

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  • So.. who's who? I'm assuming the guy you went on dates with and the guy at the party were two different people.

    So the guy you went on dates with.. have you decided you're official?

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    • Okay I just saw that you're not official.
      So no it's not cheating, but it's still pretty disrespectful if you plan on being official with him some day.

  • It shows a bad precedent, that you actually like this other guy and you may be interested in going further with him and are capable of doing something physical with a complete stranger who you have no feelings for. That type of mindset can lead to problems in relationships down the road.

    2 dates is really new. It probably isn't unless you two have talked about being exclusive and not seeing anyone else. If you've expressed feelings for each other and that you'd only date each other than you have cheated. If not than I wouldn't call it cheating. Does this guy you've been dating think of you as his girlfriend and his one and only girl or are you both free to date others at this point? How does he view the relationship between you two?

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  • In my mind if a girl does it when she’s drunk it’s okay but if a guy does it I would count it as cheating that’s me if I were to be drunk and kiss a girl I would count it as cheating

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  • It depends. Did you actually set any kind of commitment? Dates doesn't necessarily mean that you are someone's girlfriend/boyfriend, so technically you didn't cheat at all

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  • Honestly you are cheating but just kissing is not a big deal. As long as it is up to you you are loyal.

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  • No. However, that is a really dumb reason to fuck someone you don't really like when you are really into this guy you've been dating.

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  • Cheating is when you have sex (intercourse) with someone other than your main man or lady. Kissing and petting is really nothing to worry about.

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    • It is absolutely something to worry about, if you are in a committed monogamous relationship.

      Every individual couple can define the teems of their relationship however they want, and some may agree to allow kissing or even sex with other people. But the vast majority of monogamous relationships prohibit all types of romantic/sexual interactions with other people, which includes kissing.

    • @samhradh_leannan I basically agree with you. Have a wonderful day.

  • Nope I don't think so coz ur intentions were not that bad u just wanted to get some experience with the kiss.

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  • If i was your boyfriend, i would be pissed, but you will never know how he would react if you dont tell him (which i think you shouldnt)

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  • You didn't cheat. But what you did earns you a frown.

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    • Actually... wait a minute... why on earth are you kissing someone other than the person you're dating? Yeah that's cheating.

  • Well... Learn from this error and don't repeat it and you'll be fine.

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What Girls Said 16

  • Well you’re not boyfriend and girlfriend so technically not

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  • Yes, as soon as you go out with/kiss/get touchy with someone who isn't your *chosen* boyfriend, that's cheating. Not only that, but it's robbing your partner from being with someone who likes *them* and it's robbing someone else of a partner they could be dating. Make up your mind. If you want to be with your boyfriend, no more contact with Guy #2. If you want to be with Guy #2 same deal with your boyfriend. Don't think you need to be okay with whatever they do/say you don't just have to go along with things. Guys actually take girls a lot mor seriously than we've been told/taught. I know you'll make the right decision.

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  • If you weren’t in an established committed relationship with the guy you like, then you didn’t cheat. If you both agreed to be exclusive, then perhaps you did cheat in a minor way.

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  • As a 24 year old 2 dates isn't 'official' to me. Unless he asked you to be his girlfriend already then its not cheating.

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  • It's relative, some people will view that as cheating, others won't.
    Personally I don't think that's cheating, but you should talk to the guy you like about what happened and tell him why you did it.

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  • No because he isn't your boyfriend yet technically. I still feel it's still not good to do that

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  • I don't think it counts as cheating but I do think it was disrespectful to both of the boys.

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  • Don't even think about hiding this from him. You have to tell him what you did and why you did it.

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  • No because you're not in a relationship with the other guy, yet.

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  • If you're not in a relationship with him it's not cheating

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  • Not cheating as you're not in a relationship, I would call it disrespectful though

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    • Has this ever happened to you? :/

    • @Gramer yes I was dating a guy but I knew he was also seeing other women. I always choose not to see more than one person at a time but I understand that not everyone is like me 🙂

    • Yes it's true that you can't expect everyone to have the same perspective but you wouldn't do it in your case, right?

  • No. You're just seeing each other, not dating yet.

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  • Is he your boyfriend? If not then you didn’t cheat

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    • Not my boyfriend, we went on 2 dates. But I really like him.

  • I don't think so. I mean you're still not official right? So obviously you have the right to be free and look for other guys. But do not be jealous or uncomfortable if he does the same. Remember until it's not official, you both can see anyone other than each other

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  • No because you're not in a relationship with him

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  • Would you have minded if he was kissing other girls?

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