Why are women so lazy with relationships?



They seriously are so lazy, they rarely (if ever) initiate anything. Everything from the first conversation, to the first date, to the marriage proposal is initiated by the guy, they dont do anything. If they like a guy many women would sooner stay single and even refuse to initiate a conversation and say "hi, how are you ?", because they are too lazy and proud. Many give the excuse "I'm so scared" but that a cop-out

Why are they so lazy and proud? Why do guys have to do everything?

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Well because we are afraid of rejection. And in our society, guys are kind of conditioned to accept rejection gracefully. Whereas girls on other hand, are the ones that get asked out since forever. So they aren't really conditioned to accept rejection.

    For me, I'm really shy and I don't have much confidence tbh.

    I tried to initiate stuff with the guy I like now and like 80% of times, it never came to fruition. So I am really apprehensive about initiating things because I don't really like being rejected all the time.

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    • "Whereas girls on other hand, are the ones that get asked out since forever. So they aren't really conditioned to accept rejection"

      would you go so far as to say that some (not all) women have are proud and have a sense of entitlement as a result?

    • Of course they do. Won't deny that.

Most Helpful Guy

  • Firstly, they’re raised to be that way. So many times I heard my mother say to my sisters “if a guy doesn’t chase you, he doesn’t want you” ... which to be fair is kinda true. They are bombarded with teaching and media reinforcing that belief too.

    Now, personal anecdote... I’ve never dated a girl who approached me first, because I’ve never considered them to be girlfriend material or they were simply not attractive enough. I’ve always had to go after the girls I wanted. I think this is true for all my friends at least too, (in fact some of the banter about girls that approach us is quite horrific lol) so when they say they’re scared of rejection it’s probably with good reason.

    Then you have the simple fact that girls are not as strong willed as men and they can’t handle rejection, so they don’t risk it.

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What Girls Said 27

  • Isn't it obvious? Women don't generally make the first move because they simply don't have to.

    There are those who are fine with waiting around for men to make the first move, and the ones who want to make the first move because they see someone worth pursuing and don't feel like waiting around for men to notice them will get them anywhere.

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  • It's not really lazy, it just we know guys don't really like it when women are too straight forward even though you guys complain and say you want us to ask you out more often. But the truth is, a lot of you don't. It's turn off and ruins the chase for some of you, I've even seen guys say they thought women were desperate for attention or possible sluts for asking them out. Plus the reason you don't want to do it anymore is cause you're lazy yourself, and just like you we're scared of rejection as well. Rejection as a woman is a hit to our femininity/beauty, we don't want to feel like we are not beautiful enough to catch a mans attention. A woman's beauty is her gift to attracting men and we don't want that to feel challenged. Also with the way guys are responding to marriage these day, I will not be asking my boyfriend to marry me. I DID ask him out first but as far popping the question, he's the one doing that. A woman asking a guy to marry them will freak a lot of them out, guys get freak out from just hearing the word marriage now a days so you really think I'm going to ask that question? Absolutely not. Hell no. He already act like a dog beaten dog being back up in corner whenever I ask him about it and think I'm rushing him which I'm not. It been 6 years and he's still acting like it been 6 weeks we been together and honestly I'm almost there were about to say fuck it and move on. This what us women do, we wait, and wait j cause we know if we say the wrong things at the wrong time, a lot guys end up running out the door so damn fast we only see dust clouds. That's why we send you signals, woman in fact, ARE constantly making the first move and the first move is by sending you some extremely obvious duh signals. Being flirty, extremely close, making sure we look good to catch your attention, touching you in certain areas, playing with our hair (a lot of don't notice we do it) and a whole bunch of ques to let you know to come over here over and get this. But what do a lot of guys do... nothing. So yeah that's why a lot of women don't bother with asking men out, do I still encourage women to do it? Absolutely. But if they choose to not do it and wait, then I totally understand.

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  • Thank you for lumping us all into one Group :/ anyway, a lot of us are very insecure and the "I'm scared" isn't just a cop out... I recently pushed through that and initiated the first conversation, made the fist moves to hold hands and cuddle, and made the move to make it official. So please don't put us all in one big group- some of us do actually work for our relationship!

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    • your an excpetion

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    • sorry @AFishy2

    • @vertebreh it's okay! But if certain guys want to think the worst, then they'll see the worst... I just try not to be confrontational because it never does much good

  • Haha, this goes both ways. You probably haven’t met a mature woman yet. I’m the one who initiated conversations all the time, talked about future, made plans to go out and I would give compliments & love etc. For what? To be treated like shit and not be valued yet he complained how his exes were so bad to him, he had a girlfriend that fucking cared and treated her badly. That’s life nowadays, people treat badly the people who take care of them, no value.

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  • Im not lazy I've actually learnt this about myself i have been the one who has mostly initiated contact have asked to do things outside of the bedroom and so on it just ends up me pushing the guy away he finds it annoying and he finds me clingy so i give up

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  • Work smart not hard!
    Traditionally guys do those things and some girls are okay with it
    Some make the first move because this I who they are
    For example: in Japan is totally normal for the girls to confess first and girls give chocolate on Valentine's Day
    And believe it or not but some girls are scared actually, I know it's just an excuse but we are just humans after all
    The lucky and brave people will find the right partner :) I hope

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    • "And believe it or not but some girls are scared actually, I know it's just an excuse but we are just humans after all " As are the boys, but they have to do it anyway. Because if SOMEbody doesn't , the species will end... ;)

    • I said I know it's just an excuse, I don't justify it

  • Because women have to have the kids, put out, do the cooking cleaning and have a job... All you have to do is ask... And you complain? I really hope you are single.

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    • just lol @ this post

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    • @Greaver I see what you're doing son ;)

    • I don’t follow?

  • Men have been expected to do the marriage proposal and asking for a first date for years now. It's tradition.

    As for the first conversation maybe the women aren't lazy, maybe they are just shy like me. I'm a shy person in general, it takes me a while to warm up to someone and when I like that someone I'm even shyer.

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    • 'tradition' is a cop out.

    • I'm not saying women shouldn't make the first move. Of course we should if we want to. I'm just saying that some people are traditional and maybe that's why some women don't choose to propose or ask the guy out.

    • I agree about the shy part. I think in my case it isn't tradition. im just shy and also a bit inexperienced lol.

      also, i dont think i have liked someone to the point of wanting to ask them out.

  • I mean I've been in a relationship for 5 years so I am slightly inexperienced with the whole asking out thing but when before I was with my boyfriend he did all the work because it I simply was not into him right away. It took him 6 months of persistence before I decided I wanted to date him.

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  • This isn’t true in my relationship... it’s a mutual effort. I’ll be honest though lately I have been a little lazy but that’s just because I’ve been busy with work.

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What Guys Said 14

  • Men chase and women choose. They don't have to do anything but look good. The guy is expected to do pretty much everything. Why would they initiate anything when they probably have guys asking them out all the time as long as they're decent looking.

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  • My girlfriend made all the first moves in our relationship. My ex did as well so this isn't really something I've experienced myself.

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  • Because women have been taught that a man would go after them if he really wanted them.
    And since there are lots of weak men who were taught the same and are willing to perpetuate it, women don't really have a reason to break the mold.

    My solution is to break the mold for them, I simply just don't initiate anything.

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  • How is the woman supposed to know how brave, strong or confident the guy is... if she makes the first move? 🤔

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  • I guess if women were the initiators they would have to pay for everything like we do. Am I right guys? By the way, nice Count Orlok picture.

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  • Because it is traditional and women don't have to make the first move. It is awesome when they do because it shows genuine interest. However, many guys think that it makes them less of a man if she does. I knew some guys that lamented that women didn't take initiative and then complained when they did.

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  • I think it's both biological and cultural (at the risk of stealing @policelivesmatter's thunder!).

    Men are still the 'hunters', and I don't see this changing. I don't think either gender fundamentally would want it to either.

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  • Hmm well that really depends on the perspective one has on things, I've had assumptions of how it works for women that have changed the more I meet people and I've found the "bitchy" type as well as the "chill cool" type as well.
    I'd say for the majority girls have it tougher than guys to initiate a relationship and if they're not really "hot" the limiting beliefs will make it next to impossible but in all I've seen about 4 diff types that are common amongst most of the female population

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  • They aren’t all lazy and I like the girls that aren’t lazy because a relationship is about equality nothing else

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  • Traditionally women seek an alpha man that can lead, make decisions, and initiate. A woman is supposed to be an adjunct to a man's life, not his total focus. A good woman is happy to be along for the ride, going with you on your mission, being your partner.

    You don't really want a woman that dominates you and leads in the relationship, right? It all works out better if YOU lead and she follows. And they're MUCH happier doing this - that's why they seek out strong guys.

    Show me a dominate woman and I'll show you a controlling bitch.

    Women will lead in a vacuum - if you don't, won't, or can't, she will, but they hate it, will lose all respect for you, and over time will lose sexual attraction, shut down, bail, cheat, or any combination.

    No, this is the burden of performance for the man.

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