Why did he disappear all of a sudden, and his attitude changed drastically?

There's this guy that I talk to and we've been talking for 5 months I am attracted to him and like him. So what happened is we never met but I've seen him around college and thought he was fit so my friend got his number for me. We started talking and he seemed so lovely and innocent (but blunt sometimes) I don't blame him tho he's English isn't that good as he came from another country 2 years ago, but I felt like I had to make all the effort with texting first and stuff and he did always ask me to call him. we did flirt a little and had plans to meet but it never happened. So we stopped talking for a month or so and he came back commenting on my selfies and texting me 'hi' first for once and we started talking again. He then asked me to call him and I did and he told me he wanted to meet me and he feels lonely cause he has no one to talk to. It started getting a bit sexual after him telling me to meet in his house and he saying wants me and he likes me, he even told me he loves me (lol) in a jokey way. I kept on telling him for 3 weeks that I'll go to his place but I didn't and he got a bit aggressive and he said how he needs to see me. He also kept on telling me what I want from him cause I wasn't clear myself about it all, even tho I liked him but I was scared he just wanted sex from me. He said he's never had girlfriend before too.! He then blocked me on insta and I asked why he did that and he said I fucked up. He then blocked my number too. Since then he hasn't been on his insta for 5 weeks since his blocked me on that and we mostly talked on insta. P. s my friend follows him on insta and I have her acc that's how I know he hasn't been active. I just wonder where his been, and why he hasn't been active for that long. And I do miss him even tho I don't want to.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • What do you want from this guy? A quick roll in the hay? That is what he wants from you.

    You did not say what country he is from but you do need to consider his culture. If he comes from a culture where men simply get their way with women and do not show any respect. . . he may be trying to play the game the UK way at the moment because he understands that everyone will not play the game according to his rules, but eventually he will lose patience with doing things the UK way and he will reveal his true colors.

    What is your dating history? You look like a girl who could easily have had steady boyfriends from the age of 14. I mention that because your post has a sound of desperation, like you maybe want this guy even though you know he is a bad, bad boy. Pursuing anything with him will probably be bad for your self-esteem and you know you can do better. Right?

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I think the whole way you interacted was a little bizarre. He shouldn't expected from you to just go to his house and you could be a bit more clear that you do not feel comfortable about this. Why didn't you just go out in a date which is the most usual (and safe!) thing to do first? Either way even though he hasn't had a relationship before he should have understood that with the way he insisted for you two to meet would make you think that he was interested in sex. I also find it a little immature that after talking all this time he just blocked you🤔

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    • not immature, we only do that when we don't want to talk anymore

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What Guys Said 34

  • Okay... first of all, i don't want to critize you here, but letting your friend get his number wouldn't be okay with me. I had a girl do that, and i've been quite shocked having someone else call me out of the blue. Not only because she bothered me daily.
    Next thing, it's nice to see that you put all the effort in at first... but you also have to see that he might have trouble with reaching out to you. Yes, he might want sex from you. But damn, if I were him, I'd want you to be sure about your intentions with me. I had girls go hot and cold because of that (sorry here) dumb fear of "what if he wanted sex only?". I had LDRs quit with because... guess what? They didn't get to have sex with me. Had I been mad? No. I bore with the daily calling girl for quite some weeks, and she had been hanging up whenever our conversation didn't lead to phone sex soon. So yes, if someone only wants sex from you, that sucks. But I also heard girls complain on here why a guy didn't find her attractive, or if he did, why he didn't approach her, or if he did, why he didn't ask her for sex. All these "differences" from what you now fear him to be like. Please, do me a favor and just. accept. how. he. is. like. Please, I hate girls who always want to change a guy. If he wants too much sex, the girl suffers under that, and he's the bad guy. If he wants too less sex, he's the sick little puppy which she wants to take to the sex doctor to get him checked. But him having a free will about his very own sex drive? Not that I ever heard of that. Seriously, let him be. If he only wants sex with you, take it or leave it. If he ignores you because you don't know what you want? Poor you, better luck next time. No offense.

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  • You need to know him more... May he is a true introvert... And now he lost his self confidence... Thats why he is now offline... Though its hard to judge what he wants and what he is doing... U need to know him more...

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    • Yeah he kept on telling me 'you don't know me." So I told him to tell him about himself and he was like "not like that." So don't know anymore 😂😓

    • Dont tell him what he is... Just ask him... Let him tell you... Observe... If you really wanna be with him...

  • Sounds like too much texting and too little action. I would have thought you were catfishing and took my leave also to be honest.

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    • I agree with the too much texting bit. But I'm just confused to what he hasn't been on instagram for for long when he was always active taking to me there all the time, and liking stuff.

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    • Sorry to be blunt.

      You're probably a sweet girl and some day you and who ever you end up with will be extremely happy.

      I'd say the same to my son or daughter.

      Here is some advise.

      #1 get your education and career before you worry about a boy.

      The number 1 thing that causes people to live in poverty is having a child before the career or education are in place.

      #2 if you fall in love with someone be a fool. Give it 100% the whole time do not be reserved. Grovel and beg when you need to, don't let your pride get in the way.

      If someone loves you like this then you treat their heart like gold. Even if you walk away be kind.

      #3

      When you walk away practice no contact if you were sexually active. Having someone you had sex with around clouds any new relationship.

      #4 enjoy your life... You really only get one to enjoy. Don't waste it with asshole and douchebags

    • Thank you so much :)

  • I just got mad reading your post because a girl who really like me did the same to me for months until I blocked her and then smashed her best friend. I only did it because I was pissed

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    • Tell me more! Did u unblock her after?

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    • Maybe she was confused herself about it all. You shouldn't of blocked her instead u should of just told her straight she's wasting your time and to just be honest with what she wants.

    • that was too late because I didn't want her no more. Attraction turned to serious dislike

  • Omg. So many red flags... Okay, first of all it sounds like all he wants is sex. When you are into a guy and that guy is into you, he will do anything to make you happy and anything to keep you happy. Second, if you say you aren't comfortable doing something and he can't respect your feelings on the subject he doesn't really care about you. He doesn't sound like a very good guy to me, you can do better.

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  • He might have been faking his kindness so he can get you, but once he saw that you're slacking on it he showed his true aggresive self, and the blocking part of course follows the fact that this is his first time, he'll feel insecure and do something stupid, honestly your best bet here is to just let him go, also the sex part sounds so creepy for a guy on his first time, shows thirst and a bit of desperation, stay strong!

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  • I think he was just after sex but he is inexperienced so he is some times talkative then he stops then getting angry...

    If you miss him go tell him that but also take things slowly, cause he will think about sex again.

    I also don't like the fact that you told him that you would come to his home and didn't... Just tell him sorry I can't come.

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  • Depending on what countries from there's a lot of parental control and arranged marriages still exist and the culture of marrying within your race and country of origin is important and you have to figure out if that's the case because if it was completely out of the blue I would say something like that but you guys go to the same college and you were talking for that long and you never met face-to-face so Ruby's just a wuss I don't know

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  • I would be about 25 years too old for this amount of drama.
    The guy seems to have the mental stability of a tube man so I say good riddance.

    I'm not sure what is it that he wanted, but it's definitely not a functional relationship.

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  • I think he's bored of social sites. I get bored so many times too and don't use for more than 5 months. But if you do like him then you have his number. And as a free advice, don't meet him alone at his home if you don't know him. Meet him in public place, know him better then go to his home.

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What Girls Said 1

  • he wants sex but has no self confidence

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