Guy I just met asked me over, how do I get my standards across in a friendly way?

He asked me over, he does seem interested in me as we've been talking a lot when we met last night. However I don't really want to 'just hang out' as a first date, i expect a bit more effort. How do i get this across in a non-threatening way?

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Most Helpful Guy

  • "I expect a bit more effort." meaning what exactly? lol

    What I would do is call/text him before you go and suggest something else to do. And all you have to say if he asks is that you'd rather do something else for a first date. Just like you said here basically. You can be direct and still be friendly.

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    • I don't expect him to buy me things or anything like rhat I just prefer getting to know someone on neutral ground :'D

Most Helpful Girl

  • I know what you mean. You could always suggest getting together for dinner beforehand?

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    • True that's a good idea. He does seem like a decent guy. We kissed at the club and talked really nicely - several people told us we're a cute couple and he didn't act weirdly so he probably doesn't want 'sex only' but I prefer to be careful and I don't want to get into the 'just hanging out at home' too early on

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    • That sounds perfect, then you can go on from there if you like

    • Thanks for the MHO :)

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What Guys Said 5

  • If it is hanging out as a friend, I can understand that. Wait until he asks you to date him and see if he will take you on a date first. I usually like to hang out and get to know the people I like more before committing to a relationship.

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  • Just tell him. I don't understand why everyone can't just be transparent, if your SO or person of interest can't handle that much than they clearly aren't worth your time

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  • Of course he wants sex without buying it by going out to dinner.. lol If you are going to pay for dinner he will more than happy to go. Good luck.

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    • What do you suggest I do? Would saying 'I'd prefer to go on a real date' be too blunt? I want someone to put more effort into me. I know sex is always a primary goal for a guy but it doesn't mean he's interested in just that

    • Your statement is 100% accurate.. about a males ultimate goal and that it's all about just sex. Sex is a bounding act for the right guy. And yes.. be very blunt with us... say how you want to be treated and loved.. but say it with care and respect as you would like for us to comunicate to you. If you want a male that is a natural provider and is willing to do that... let him know that asking a woman to dinner and paying for the meal is traditional and you are a traditional lady. This way he knows what he is getting into and your expectations.

    • Don't be desperate and grow a relationship with someone that has nothing that you need other than looks. You should only be dating with the intention of finding a good spouse for marriage. This will help you see through the infatuations and think about accidental pregnancies and if that person is a good fit for tour life during those life changing events. Good luck.. lol.. sorry i know you just wanted a dinner date... but you must look further down the road than that... lol

  • Bring a gun no sex just talk and whatever eles but no sex or I shot it off

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  • Ask him what he wants to do :)

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