Why do people say it’s the girls fault for a guy treating her like shit?


0|0
127

Most Helpful Guy

  • Usually there are warning signs before it happens. No man suddenly goes from being husband material to being an absolute dickhead overnight.

    Unfortunately, it IS the girl's fault for not seeing those signs since girls have free will to choose which guy they decide to date.

    0|1
    0|1
    • gonna wait to see pink downvotes.

    • Show All
    • That’s not true, they are plenty instances of guys who were princes in the Beginning and then they became possessive and jealous. There’s not always warning signs at the beginning. Leaving isn’t always easy. Many victims love their partners despite the abuse, blame themselves, or feel as if they have no support system or resources outside of the relationship and so they feel as if they can’t leave. Furthermore, the period immediately after leaving an abusive relationship is extremely dangerous.

    • That's why i said those "princes" are also the ones you need to look out for. They trip over themselves to be the prince because they have no confidence that they can attract women any other way. They become possessive and jealous because again, no confidence they can keep her.

      As for the other points, i'm not sure how you can NOT blame the girl? The rest of those things are on her?
      If she loves him despite the abuse... it's not his fault.
      If blames herself... don't need to explain.
      If she doesn't have resources... shouldn't have gotten with a man for his resources.

      If the girl feels in danger she can always inform the police. Let's not listen to the hysterical few cases where the man gets violent. By and large it doesn't happen, few men are willing to risk jail or a policeman's bullet to get one over the girl.

      Abusive relationships are about who wields power, if the guy has no power over you (i. e you are equal in all aspects of life) then you are very unlikely to be abused.

Most Helpful Girl

  • Because then that means taking responsibility. Taking responsibility for something, especially if it was your fault, is hard for a lot of people to do, men and women. The girl is only at fault for tolerating the treatment but she's not at fault for him actually BEING a dick. Him being a jackass is his fault and her staying is no excuse for him to continue being an asshole.

    You can't control what someone does to you. However, you are in control of whether or not you allow it to continue.

    0|0
    0|0
    • The only true element most people can see from the outside is if you tried to leave or not. Did you stay or did you seek escape from the situation. That's what most people are talking about in these cases. Granted, some are just assholes looking to blame somebody but as Allie_Oops says, you can't control what someone does, only how you respond.

Recommended Questions

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 26

  • I think its because sometimes the girl has the opportunity to leave but never does. I wouldn't say that the woman is ever to blame for it but if your boyfriend/husband is abusive and your friends and family offer you ways to escape him and you don't take it, then you made a choice to be with an abusive person knowing fine well what they're capable of

    0|1
    0|0
    • It’s not that easy to leave especially if the abuser has control over you financially and emotionally. What about the ones who are socially isolated and have no family? The abuser would be the only support system for the person

    • Like I said, I never view it as the persons fault or see them as to blame. I just think its this sort of situation that usually leads to people blaming the abused person rather than the abuser

  • Depends on what her definition of "like shit" is. I've treated girls nice, but because it didn't suit them, they classified it as "like shit"...
    why do people say its the girl's fault? cuz it is. and its also the guy's fault when he lets some cunt treat him like shit. I've been that guy... except most guys will up and leave, but the girl usually stays... for one reason or the other HOPING that he will "change"...
    are you starting to see why she is blamed?

    0|0
    0|0
  • Not all people say that. In some cases it is true but in others it's not. Most often they are both to blame for treating each other like shit.

    Both men and women have extraordinary people who are blameless but those are few and far between. Unicorns... be careful before you try to call yoirself a unicorn. We all screw up... well 99.99999999% of us.

    0|0
    0|0
  • It's understandable - to some extent at least, the girl must have chosen the guy rather than rejecting him, unless it's an extreme situation (like Fritzl's captives). Of course it's not always easy to break up, particularly once you live together - and the worse abusers hide that aspect until it's too late to get away easily.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Because it seems like women who have a man that treat them like shit seem to stick around and put up with it. Then, they get out of one abusive relationship and right back into another one. Then, they shun any guy who treats them good because he is "too nice".

    0|0
    0|0
  • Cause sometimes it's something the girl has done or said for me I'm very picky with every single thing a girl says I calculate everything and I always find something wrong so than the male gets extremely defensive and doesn't want to be hurt so to make himself feel in control he than takes it out on his girl

    0|0
    0|0
  • They always blame the girl for everything because they think that they never do anything wrong my dad is that way towards my mom so that’s why I cut them both off I’m tired of toxic people and it’s not always a girls fault

    0|0
    0|0
  • I don't agree that it's all her fault. I would say it's her fault if she stays in the relationship and puts up with it. Everyone has the choice to leave. If I'm in that position, best believe I'm breaking it off.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Only some people do, and it's almost never true, and those people are fools. It's SOMEtimes true, when/if the girl is a legit bitch or is rude or never takes his feelings into account like her own. Relationships are give and take.

    0|0
    0|0
  • because women are notoriously childish and self centered. And when their absent minded/ rude behavior gets then fucked up, they tend to act like they don't understand why.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Because she picked him and she stayed with him.
    Self-evidently, she believes that she deserves to be treated in that way.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Because we may be dumb and mean sometimes, but women are downright cruel. You will shoot to kill over anything. You find our deepest darkest fears and make them reality

    0|0
    0|0
  • Because the girl chose to stay, some even like it. I've literally heard girls say they like being treated like shit

    0|0
    0|1
  • It's both of their faults. Him for being a scrum bag. Her for putting up with it.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Cause you let them if I let a girl treat me like shit it would be my fault too

    0|0
    0|0
  • Because there are basically narcissists who always blame the woman

    0|0
    0|0
  • People will treat you the way you let them treat you.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Because girls date and stay with the guys who treat them like shit. They must like it.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Only idiots say that.

    1|0
    0|0
  • Cause she is still with him

    0|0
    0|0
  • More from Guys
    6

What Girls Said 0

The only opinion from girls was selected the Most Helpful Opinion, but you can still contribute by sharing an opinion!

Recommended myTakes

Loading...