Do you think this is controlling behavior?

The guy I'm dating took my phone away from me while I was on the phone with my friend. We were just talking and then he literally made a comment about her voice in a weird and rude kind of way. Then he gave my phone back to me. Do you think this is controlling?
Updates:
He justified this as "joking around"

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What Guys Said 23

  • When he made his "joke," how many people laughed?

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    • Nobody

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    • Any time BEFORE. How is it acceptable in any way for anyone to take a phone away from someone?

    • I NEVER said it was an acceptable thing to do, did I? No. I said, "So, it was a jerk thing to do."

      That does not change the fact that he may have heard your comment and felt unimportant.

      If you prefer for me to lie and tell you that you are wonderful and never do anything wrong, I can do that, but it wouldn't be the right thing to do. I am trying to get you to open your eyes and see what might have happened.

  • He's joking around. Consider not 'talking on your phone to friends' when you're supposed to be spending quality time with him. Your priorities are out of whack.

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    • He insulted her.

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    • I don't think you understand the question. It's not about the insulting, it's about the fact he took my phone away from me.

    • He must be creepy. :)

  • Only you know the context or if he was really joking.
    If your relationship is in its early days then you should be on the look out for other signs that he has a controlling nature, if so then time to bail out. Otherwise a few years down the line you might be trapped in a relationship with him and you'll be his punch bag

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  • Yes. And it is disrespectful. If you really want to test if is agitation or disrespect, do the same to him. If he freaks out, get angry or aggressive, he is dominant and thinks that a different set of rules apply to him. If he is just confused and wants to know why, it might have been a short moment of irritation.

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  • As a one-off, no. When you're dating him, especially if you ON a date, pay attention to him. Don't sit and jabber with your friend on the phone when you have (or are) a guest; that's rude.

    If he makes a habit of it, though, then you need to reconsider.

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  • Way too much controlling. I just end up befriending all my gf's friends XD. And then I end up get roped into all their stuff XD. I dont mind to be honest its far better than making her feel trapped.

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  • It sounds like a douchey thing to do but that doesn't make him "controlling". He probably really was joking around, as immature and obnoxious as it was

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  • yeah a bit. if he wanted to comment he could have waited till you were done and if annoyed him tell him to leave and do pushups or something. jerk. i would give a pass this time but if it happens a lot thats a red flag.

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  • next time you see him on the phone to a friend. Do the same and grab it off him and make the same comment.

    if he gets salty- justify it by saying you were 'joking around'

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  • Yea I wouldn't stick around that guy he doesn't seem like someone healthy to be around

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  • Well there's your first door open run run fast it'll only get worse from there

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  • Leave him. This is likely only the beginning. Get out while it is easy.

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  • He's not controlling, He is just plain and simply immature.

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  • They always do.. its a very aggressive move , even for a joke.. He'll tell you he doesn't like your friends, will get pissy when you want to spend time with your family , He may bomb your phone with calls and texts,.. He will always be the most earnest in his apologies when he finally pisses you off or crosses a line. Once you start doing what you feel you don't want to do, for him, and because the way he will act, you have got yourself in a potentially dangerous relationship.. Please be careful and tell you parents, sibling or your friends every time he acts aggressively , Never make it a secret.. or end it before it happens. that move is very aggressive and I am sure you did'nt feel it was a joke at the time, probably because it wasn't... You know what joking is...

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  • yes he is trying to control you and if you don't like being controlled, dump him

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  • Maybe a little rude.

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  • Controller!!!

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  • He's just an asshole

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  • Yeah

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  • Dick move

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What Girls Said 9

  • It's not controlling, he was just irritated with her voice. If it frequently happens that he makes rude comments all the time about everything then they are judgmental. Leave then cause you don't need that kinda negativity in your life.

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  • Completely Inappropriate to take your phone while talking. It’s definitely rude but I’m not sure I could classify him as controlling on that issue alone.

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  • Yes it seems so. Has he ever done anything similar?

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  • Yes, that's controlling and extremely annoying. I'd hate that.

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  • This is controlling, not a joke in a funny way. Not also a joke to be rude

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  • I don't know if it's controlling just kind of rude

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  • controlling

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  • See i would have to know more details about your boyfriend but that is kind of controlling or rude. Unless he's doing it because he feels you don't give him enough attention ya know.

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  • I really can't tell with the information you provided. Sounds a little biased.

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