From what I'm going to mention below, does it sound as if I'm unattractive and guys just don't seem to like me?

I'm 23. I've never had a boyfriend. I used to get complimented by guys rarely in high school. Didn't get asked out until I was a senior. Once in a while would a guy somewhat flirt with me in person or ask me out. Since they're being so forward in the street, I usually choose to not pursue anything. Bit of anxiety in that type of scenario. I've tried online dating. I have gotten a lot of messages every time I made an account (what girl doesn't). I've been on a few dates that usually go no where and if they do, it usually fizzles out or I just lose interest. I feel like I'm this hideous monster. I've lost a decent amount of weight. People have told me, strangers/family/friends that I'm pretty. I am just negative and have low self esteem from the shit I've encountered in my life. Plus having an anxiety disorder doesn't help the situation. Personally, I think my face is plain.

Yet, I've seen women constantly being hit on and asked out on dates. They're usually never without a partner or potential suitor.
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Most Helpful Guy

  • Yeah, it sounds like you're unattractive. But not in the way you think.
    You're unapproachable and probably too pessimistic, which comes off as being disinterested in men and being asked out.
    So I think people might avoid approaching you if they feel they might get rejected -- everybody hates rejection.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • The online dating thing is hard. A lot of crap to sort out. Now I suffer from Borderline, anxiety, and PTSD. It is even trickier for us to get involved with people. It is not every man that can handle a girl that has our issues. It takes an extremely special man. I have always laid my cards out on the table right away. I never enjoy wasting my time. Most guys get lost after hearing the stuff in my life and I am okay with that. I don’t want them in my life if they can’t manage anything less than sunshine and roses every day.

    Honestly, if you aren’t confident right now in who you and you are feeling unattractive my honest suggestion is to stop looking for a while and work on yourself. I did that for 2 years after an abusive relationship had completely destroyed me. One day I realized I was ready.

    You will find someone that is perfect for you, be cautious but open. You I am sure are beautiful you need to believe it before anyone else will.

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What Guys Said 7

  • Sounds to me that you *are* attractive but people find it hard to connect to you?

    You may want to try and open up a bit more to the ones you are interested in? And maybe tell them you may need more time to get close to?

    My bet is just that you still haven't met the kind of person you need, but that will come in its own time. Just be ready to "seize your moment" (By the way, Coco is a very good movie)

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  • Your not unattractive guys in high schools are usually assholes anyway and weight isn’t something you should factor in unless it’s like severely obese but 200 and under is just right and you’ll find the one eventually and a lot of people have anxiety so don’t worry about it when you find the one and are with them for a while you lose that anxiety

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  • You sound like my sister. So I will give you the same answer I would to her "I do not find you attractive". Though that sounds unfair for you, sorry.

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  • It sounds like you're attractive but haven't found what you're looking for. Start approaching guys you like, don't wait for them to come to you.

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  • Read this, this may help you,

    imgur. com/a/SW0ox

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  • Man, I'm depressed just reading that. You know the difference between the ocean and a mud-hole? ENTHUSIASM!!! Honey you have to be high on life at least a little. I bet guys read you in a skinny minute. You must be giving a huge negative vibe of some kind. Don't tell how big a loser I am if I date you... let me see how enthusiastic you are about something and make me want to join you. You need to be high on life and not down on breathing.

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  • Maybe you give off a bad vibe.

    You might be attractive, but you may have a bad energy (unknowingly )

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What Girls Said 2

  • You sound like my sister as well. So I will give you the advice I give her.
    The other girls you are talking about. I bet the majority of them are not as emotional as you are. I have seen a lot of people who go through 5-6 boyfriends in just highschool. It is because they don't get involved that emotionally and even if they do, they are not as emotional as you. There is nothing wrong with being emotional. Guys need persuasion too if you want to be approached. I talked to my guy friends about this and they told me that guys get a lot more nervous and scared then we tend to think. They won't make a move unless they think you are interested as well. You would be surprised to know just how flirty those people are who are always with someone. (This does not includes everyone, some people are blessed with a good relationship)

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  • No ot doesn't sound like that.

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