How much to tell a guy when you first meet him (recently divorced) advice 101 please help

Alright, I am sorry if this gets lengthy, but I really need some advice.

I recently got divorced from my husband who was emotionally abusive. I was isolated from any outside activity for nearly three years. I got married very young. Yes, it was a bad decision, but you live and learn, right? Married at 19.I am 21 now. I have not been single since my freshman year of high school. I am just getting used to being able to have an adult life and doing what I please. I want to get back into the dating scene, but I feel totally lost. Where are good places to meet guys.and If I do meet much do I tell him about my past. I can think of nothing more frightening than telling a potential dating possibility that I am recently divor.I think that is how far I would get before they split. How much information when you first meet is too much information. I am not ashamed of what happened to me and I feel like it is unfair to keep that information hidden. I do have some bizarre mannerisms that are a direct result of the abusive relationship and I feel like the only way I can justify them is by letting others know what happened to me. I have no idea where to meet guys, I have no idea how to approach, or even what to say once I have approached. Like I said, I am totally lost and I have no idea where to begin. Any advice is appreciated.

Secondly, if you were talking to a lovely lady and said that she was divorced and then the reason why.would that intimidate you or turn you off completely?


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What Guys Said 2

  • I think if I met someone young- who was divorced, I'd be curious, just as to why you married so young. Like I might ask you "Were you high school sweethearts? did you marry because you wanted kids young? Anything like that/wanted your own family?" It's just the first questions I thought of, but that's about it for now.

    But every guy is different and has their own things that attract them and their pet peeves that they stay away from.

    And I guess it's good to bring it up, but don't dwell on it as if it looks like the past is all you can focus about. Total downer, lol, on a first date with a fresh start. And first dates are kind of like job interview with all the question asking going on, and getting to know and a feel for each other. And like, hypothetically speaking, if you and I were out on a date - I would try to find out things you learned from the experience rather than things that you regretted. I would want to find more out about that later. I'd try to keep it more up-beat at first and not bring up any bad memories or anything. Just to keep the date more easy going and fun for the time being. But that's just how I would go about it.

    And then maybe over the phone or over the next few dates, explain more when he wants to get to know more about it, or when you feel comfortable opening up to him.

  • i think you have to be subtle at the beginning. tell him that you are recently divorced from your highschool sweetheart, and that it turned out to be a disaster. but don't go into details, certainly not on the first night you meet him or go out with him. after you have seen each other a few times then you can start to elaborate on what exactly happened.

    i don't think guys are turned off by a recently divorced girl, they are turned off however by a girl that is a mess. if you get my drift.

    i say get to know him, then spit out the details and that you are pretty upset still over it or whatever. if the guy likes YOU, all of this stuff won't hurt your chances of getting together with him, but definitely if you are still distraught and a bit of a mess then I would recommend to wait, not go out with anyone, and just enjoy single life, until you are happy again.


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