Does it look bad if a younger woman hangs out with and dates people who are significantly older?

Will people think I'm "easy" or slutty for having older guy friends or dating older men? I'm talking about men who are 10-20 years older. I'm 22 years old.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • You are probably better off with an older guy if you want something serious and to start a family.
    However he is when you meet him, don't expect him to change hardly anything about himself. Probably set in his ways already.
    I would prefer someone 9 + years younger than myself for a LTR.

    And only hook ups/ONS make someone slutty. Being with someone of a different age doesn't.
    If the guy was like 60 +, then almost everyone would think you are a gold digger, but 10 to 20 years should be fine.

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    • I ask because my father just said that it looks "bad" for me as a younger girl to hang out with older men because people will look down upon me and think I'm "easy" and worthless... Now I'm confused.

    • Just don't try to go out with any of your father's friends and it should be fine.

Most Helpful Girl

  • Two consenting adults in a relationship is not looked down on as much as it used to be.

    The most impressive societal change that is happening is that how we term "sluts" and "fuckboys" is becoming different. People realize the double standard of praising men for having lots of sex and shaming women for having healthy sex lives or enjoying sex equally. That's why nowadays, intelligent people recognize that true sluts and fuckboys are those who manipulate people for sex or use sex to manipulate people, not just people who are promiscuous.

    I'd say there's more risk of being accused of being a gold digger than a slut, simply because older men are known more for their stability than their sexual prowess. If anyone brings it up, feel free to remind them that you can't change the fact that you're attracted to men who are more mature, stable, and interesting (life experience). That should shut them up.

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What Guys Said 17

  • What is your attraction to older men?

    (I already have a girlfriend AND I don't do LDR's!) :)

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  • Ok you're 22 lets say he's 42. When you were born, he was 20 years old probably fucking someone already, in college thinking about marriage and kids. Your dad is right. And you would not ever truly love a man so much older.

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    • I have been in relationships with men in that age group and it was serious love. I almost married the guy.

  • I think it´s normal. I have many friends who date older guys. The problem tends to arise when discussing about serious relationships as older men have different agendas and are generally focusing on other things besides dating younger women and making them their future wife. If it´s just sex and fun, go for it, but bear in mind that serious relationships with older guys are always difficult. At least none of my friends have yet to succeed :D

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  • So long as your both of legal age then in my opinion age shouldn't matter and relationships are personal matters where the only opinions that should affect it are your or your partners everyone else's don't mean anything that goes for who you find attractive as well

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  • People will think whatever they want and you can't stop that. If your comfortable dating him. Go for it. It's exactly who my ex wife left me for. He also looks just like her dad, but if that's what will make her happy. That's all I wanted for her and wish she could have been upfront about it and told me herself. People do crazy things. As long as your happy. Don't worry about what people think of who you are.

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  • Who cares? I was 32 and my wife of 19 years was 21 when we met. I was established in my career, had a well paying job, and my home was paid for. What exactly is the downside for a woman or man dating someone older who is more established?

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  • You know... I think it does. A couple weeks ago, I spent a week out in Florida with this 24 year old that I met off of Plenty of Fish (I'm 41). MAYBE it was my own insecurities, but I feel that restaurant staff always looked at us funny. Like, I even wondered if they thought she was a prostitute.

    But here's the thing, that can easily be my own hangups. I've had discussions on here where others have pointed out that my observations may have actually been my projecting my feelings on the situation and on top of that, I talked to one of the customer service guys who works for me and as someone who used to wait tables, he assures me that the restaurant staff thought absolutely nothing.

    So there you go. The crazy guy (me) thinks that it looks bad while everyone else says that the rest of the world is too busy with their own lives to notice.

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  • Yep people will think you're a gold digger or a slut.

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  • No. That's dumb. You like who you like. Fuck other peoples' opinions.

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  • In a specific range, it is not good but psh since when have we lived in a society where the ones who do it give a damn anyway?

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  • Not at all but depends on you nearby people how they perceive it... They are the factor which are responsible for these kinda thoughts

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  • I have no problem with you wanting to hang out with older guys...

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  • Well people will notice but why should you care what they think?

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  • 10 years is fine for me. 20 is a no for a relationship. I don't hookup either

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  • Mostly depends on what your intentions are, if to have a casual or serious relationship.

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    • Serious relationships. I don't hook up.

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    • @labruja I seriously hope you're just being a troll.

    • @labruja I care. Thank you.

  • No lets try

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  • It does look bad/

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What Girls Said 7

  • Older Men already think all young women are easy from ages 18-25. If he's in his 30+ he just wants to have fun w a young girl but never ever settle with her or take her serious. Worry about guys your age unless you want a sugar daddy.

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    • Bullshit. Guys my age just want to have fun.

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    • What is your problem?

    • You're creating your own. Be blessed.

  • I use the formula of taking the older persons age, cut it in half and add 7. Then you get the younger persons she. That’s how big the spread should be. Before I even knew about this equation, I met my guy who is about 15 years older.

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  • My boyfriend is 11 years older than me so, to each their own.

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  • 20 years is a big difference.
    Think about when you are in your 40s and you've settled down with a guy who

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  • I don’t think it’s bad. Older guys are hotter in my opinion

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  • my mom and step dad are 12 years apart sooooooooooooooooooo

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  • It is not bad.

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