Why do the wrong people fall in love with you, but not the ones you love?

Does anyone else experience this phenomenon of having plenty of attention, but you're rejected by the people you actually want?

Some men worship me and would do anything for me. It's flattering I suppose, to know I'm loved and appreciated. But then I go and fall in love with men who are emotionally unavailable or clearly not that into me.

I think people are generally into other people who are above their grade. Or is there more to it? Why do the wrong people fall in love with you, but not the ones you love??

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Yupparo
    It's a bubble many live in. You go for that type that's usually just a bit above you in the dating world or someone that you just can't let go most often because something about their appereance/personality is too intriguing...

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    • Nail. Head. Hit

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    • I guess I'm willing to wait for a match. I wouldn't be happy settling.

      In fact I did settle and it was thr worst thing I could have done to him and me.

    • There is 2 types of settling. Usually one works and the other doesn't from what i see

      1. Not settling as in I want the guy I find hot
      2. Not settling as in I want a good loyal committed man with decent looks that I dig too

      1 usually doesn't work well lol

Most Helpful Girl

  • I experience the exact same thing, and I wish I knew the answer. I think it might just be bad luck, or wanting the chase of someone who you don’t already have

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What Guys Said 15

  • Studies show that woman are more attracted to men whose feelings are unclear. Goes right along with the idea that we desire most what can't have or even better... people like a challenge and want to feel special.

    If a guy seeks your approval and acts like he has to win your affections he has already shown his feelings, made himself easy, and in no way makes you feel special by putting you on a pedestal.

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    • That makes sense.

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    • so it plays no part?
      because you responded 'that makes sense'

      sooooo... ya I Don't get it then lol

    • Well it does on a philosophical level

  • Good question! All my life I've always been attracted to women that weren't attracted to me or vise versa. I've come to the conclusion it's hard for everyone to find someone they truly connect with in all areas... because we're all so different.

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  • Omg! That's my life story... I'm literally living this phenomenon on a day to day basis. But this is about you.

    Do you ever think you are being too picky? When men "worship" you does that turn you off? Do you look for specific qualities in men that the guys who worship you don't have? Are the guys you want better looking? If so how would you rate them compared to the men that worship you? 1-10 rating.

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    • Yes, I do wonder if I'm too picky, but you can't help who you desire. Can you?

      The worshipping feeds my ego, and I say that honestly not because I want my ego fed. I do appreciate their attention. I don't think it turns me off. I would love to be adored by a man that I adore.

      I suppose the guys I'm not interested in are genuinely missing 2 important qualities that I find irresistible. Creativity and a strong mind.

      I wouldn't necessarily say the guys I want are better looking according to general rules, but they are way more attractive to me.

    • You are right, you can't decide who you find attractive. Keep searching you will find someone eventually. Just gotta be patient. They way I see it, if I find someone with the qualities I'm looking for the better the chance of the relationship will work out long term.

  • Oh how we pity the plight of the confused 30 year old single women. Always drooling after the conceded stud who doesn't give a damn. So sad and such a complete waste of time.

    Personally, I'd never waste my valuable time on any women who didn't absolutely worship me. Those are the women who I want to be with. Airheads, game players and social climbers can all take a nice long walk off of a deep short pier as far as I'm concerned. You are the problem. You had love and you heartlessly kicked it to the curb like a bag of garbage. No sympathy here!

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    • That's really harsh.

      Did it ever occur to you that some men like me because I am kind and empathetic and I care for the lost and lonely? Because I was there for them when no one else was. Because I listened. I sat and cried with them. I held them in my arms and at the end of the day, even though I'm not attracted to them, I am still here for them and never cast them aside?

      How jaded you are to think that any woman who is loved does not deserve it.

      I want to adore and be adored. I want someone who can hold me when I'm feeling broken, too. I need someone to match me.

      Why race in here to judge someone you don't know?

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    • Why wouldn't any of these guys give back more than they take? You never gave them a chance!

    • Sorry to hear that! FYI, love grows for the right reasons and so does sexual intimacy. I still think that you expect to much...

  • ever thought that YOU were the "wrong person" falling in love with that person?

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  • Human race is selfish...
    We want what we can't have and we aren't happy with that we get and have... we always want more...
    It's not you... it's humanity

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  • They are not necessarily the wrong people , they just are not the one you want.

    If you care for someone they will most likely never know unless you are honest and up front. Never expect the one you feel is the right one to fall for you without a push.

    As for the wrong people falling for you... They just happen to have found "the one" for them in you, and unless you try them you will not know if they are a match for you as well.

    In life there is never just one true love, you can love anyone and as many people as your heart can handle... Love is essentially endless.

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  • if you find out please tell me... cause this always happens to me.

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  • It more about timing you just entered at a bad time.

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  • We always crave for something better for us, but that never really works out

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  • At least you get love, i don't

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  • Ehhh, Life sucks anyways

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  • Cuz LIFE is s*cks

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  • Makes me wanna heave!

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  • It's called hypergamy...

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What Girls Said 3

  • I feel the same way sadly and in the same position as you. The guys that want me, I just don't want them or like them more than just a friend. But when I do like someone, they usually don't want me or they just want me once and then that's it lol

    I don't know how that works really..

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  • Nope never always two sided but sometimes men will say they love you just cause and I've been told by a lot of men that they love me and they don't mean it and I've never been with them before

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  • I think it’s sometimes we want what we can’t have more then one we want and we forget the one who want you.

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