Is it stupid to be weird about having sex with my boyfriend cuz he slept with someone before me?

I am a virgin and my boyfriend lost his virginity to his last girlfriend. I feel weird about losing my virginity to him since he already lost his to someone else. I grew up in the idea of both being virgins till marriage.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • You need to settle within yourself just what you want, and how important it is to you. If you want to lose your virginity to a virgin, and it's important to you, then this is the wrong guy. Is it a deal breaker, or just feels weird? If it just feels weird, at some point, you probably will get horny enough for it not to matter, and just have sex with him. If it's a deal breaker, then you need to find another guy.

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    • Your right. It’s pretty important to me but he’s also a really great guy and don’t wanna end the relationship and not end up finding another good guy and hard to find another virgin my age these days lol I know some guys who r tho. I feel it would just be more special and grew up on that ideology. I’ve also heard to much about him and his ex since we were friends before dating so always picture a mental image lol

    • Knowing about his ex and having the mental images does make it more difficult. If you stick with him, it's likely that those pictures will fade and become less important with time. Especially as you and he make your own emotional and sexual pictures. Doing a few non-harmful sexual exploits together that just you and he share could make the pictures fade even more. I mean like having sex in special, very romantic places, perhaps on the beach, in the forest, under a water fall, etc., types of places where just you and he have special sex. (of course, keep it legal)

Most Helpful Girl

  • Its not uncommon that you'd feel this way because you dont feel like its "equal" but you can't control his past, if you want to have sex it should be because you desire it and you dont feel like you HAVE TO. You had this idea, and essentially its shattered but you should really just change your outlook if you want to.

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What Guys Said 18

  • If you aren't married yet, why are you thinking so much about losing your virginity?

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    • I don't know I guess I’ve been more tempted and debating if I still wanna wait since like no one does anymore

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    • I’m not sure if I am I go back and forth

    • That makes sense.

  • If you have the mentality of wanting to wait until marriage, why are you worried about having sex now?

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    • I don't know guess I’ve been more tempted and we’ve known each other for awhile. I guess debating if I still want to wait but also don’t wanna regret not waiting. Still thinking I’m going to wait just wanted to get opinions

    • often times, people lose their virginity to their first girlfriend or boyfriend because they think it is going to last for a long time

    • That is very true my first boyfriend there was no way cuz I never fully trusted him and he ended up being a cheater the other one had the same ideology as me so it worked out then. Other times I could’ve had one night stands tons of times but knew I would regret it. Ya that was his first more longer relationship at 18

  • I agree it's stupid.

    I wouldn't marry a girl unless I sleep with her BEFOREHAND.

    Because from my point of view, sex accounts for 25-50% of a relationship, so knowing if we're compatibile in bed is something of uttermost importance for me.

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  • Most girls have that idea. Because they lose a hymen and thats a one shot deal in life. I dunno if those news are true but some girls are able to sell theirs. Although i imagine that sex would be extremely choreographed and condoms would be involved so it would be no fun. If i had money i still wouldn't pay for that.
    Honestly there is no virgin males. Males have no hymen. He didn't lose a virginity. He lost an innocence

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    • virgin means unexplored, untouched

      tbh guys have virginity too. they just dont have a hymen lol

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    • tbh i think women can fake it too since i heard hymens can not actually be a barrier. some are just a parcial membrane or something.

      either way yes. it is more demanding for the woman, the whole sexual experience.

    • she can but it takes surgery and fake blood if she wants to go extreme. Some males still remember the feeling of a real virgin tho.
      How so? You mean the whole virgin experience?
      Coz a female dont need viagras and penis pumps

  • Clearly you two ain't gonna wait till your married to get your fuck on... but if it bothers you that much then let him go and find an altar boy willing to wait it out with you... very simple yet good advise hopefully

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  • Your beliefs are your own.. but you have three choices in my opinion. separate and hope you find a guy virgin at 25... keep him and learn that loves not about virginity or sex... or, be a lesbian. Which just kinda brings back the while trying to find virgin thing again but at least it might be easier finding a girl whos never been with another girl..

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    • Haha thanks surprisingly I have a couple of guy friends who still are at 25 cuz of the same ideology dating one of them but broke up cuz we found we wanted different things in the future

    • But ya it’s not common for 25 yr old virgins

  • Well it's because he found out that girl wasn't for him that he met you, so how about take that as something special

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  • It's because you are used to the virgin to marriage ideology which he had broken. It's not weird as much of a values clash.

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  • Waiting with it ti'll marriage can be a bad idea if it turns out you're really not sexually compatible (have wildly different kinks and turn ons)

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  • 25 and still a virgin? Be glad he's only had 1 before. Dump him and you may die a virgin if you stick to your fairytale

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What Girls Said 2

  • Yes it is does it matter it's one girl as long as he's clean

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  • Pretty stupid yes

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