Would it make a worse impression if your date stared at you frequently and intently OR if your date had trouble holding eye contact?

Would it make a worse impression if your date stared at you frequently and intently OR if your date had trouble holding eye contact?By 'frequently and intently', I mean that they don't go more than 2-3 seconds without looking at you, and when they look at you, they do so for longer than 7 seconds (count that out in your head--it's a long time!).

On the other hand, if they have trouble holding eye contact, it means that they don't look at you for longer than 2-3 seconds, and more often than not, they're not looking directly at you
(note: this doesn't mean they're not paying attention to you; they're still listening to you and engaging in conversation).
  • Intense and frequent staring would make a worse impression on me.
    Vote A
  • Lack of eye contact would make a worse impression on me.
    Vote B
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Most Helpful Guy

  • Strong eye contact is supposed to be a positive sign. If she can't keep her eyes off me it's flattering not creepy. If she can't hold eye contact I would think there could be some lack of intrest or isn't sexually attracted to me.

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    • It's encouraging that you see it as flattering. I'm always worried that if I opt for lots of eye contact, I'll cross that thin line between "interested" and "creepy".

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    • Honestly it's more weird when you can't hold eye contact for more then a second. This 1 guy at h. s I knew would always dart his eye's. It made him seem insecure and uncomfortable and if you come off as uncomfortable other all be too.

Most Helpful Girl

  • Intense and frequent staring would make a worse impression on me.
    Personally I find eye contact is very intense. If this isn't someone I am regularly seeing, to hold eye contact for that long would be a little intimidating.
    On the other hand, not holding eye contact would signal to me that the other person is probably nervous. As long as they're paying attention and engaging in conversation, it doesn't matter much that they're not making eye contact.
    To be honest, I feel like I often have trouble holding eye contact so maybe that's why it wouldn't be that big of a deal to me.

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What Guys Said 21

  • Knowing I'm a confident (as opposed to shy) guy and that my favourite body part of a girl is her face, I definitely love staring. And her staring back would not bother me at all.

    I find staring quite attractive. If I stare at a girl on the street for a couple of seconds and she returns the favour, I definitely walk up to her and ask her out.

    Or maybe I am just a sectarian guru that easily picks up girls with my stare. ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚

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  • totally depends if eye contact is complemented with smile or not

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  • Different strokes for different folks, some may look like they don't enjoy eye contacts/being stared at and usually during early dates but that does not necessarily mean that they don't like it, some may find their dating partner staring a lot at them creepy, some may find lack of eye contact rude.. life is so colorful, keep looking!

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  • I rather her stare at me all the time cause then it shows she is interested in you. I don't like girls who have like no confidence and never look me in the eye. They are the same girls that will have no confidence to talk to me unless I talk to them first and will just sit back and wait for me to do something because they don't think they are good enough.

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  • Eye contact is the essence of respect when communicating. if they struggled with this, i would basically ask them;

    ' Am I boring you?'

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    • But is there a "too much" to eye contact? And if so, what do you consider too much?

    • If they were gawking at me i would find this odd. It would be different for a woman for it would justifiably be seen as 'creepy'

  • The amount of eye contact represents the equal amount of interest. If you can't look at the one you are talking with, it doesn't seem like your full attention is there. Wandering eyes make for a feeling of a wandering mind.

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  • Lack of eye contact are signs of disinterest, anxiety or untrustworthiness... all huge turnoffs.

    If your date watches you and actually tracks you with their eyes its a huge positive.

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  • I don't really mind either. As a guy, I can only work with what I got. But I do like eye contact more times than not especially if the alternative is spaced out or wandering too much.

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  • Honestly staring just means you like or are interested in what you're looking at.
    If I see a cool car I'll stare a bit, or a nice house, funny man on the street, or my date who has gorgeous eyes.
    So I don't think staring is too bad

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  • I'd expect more eye contact from a date than I would in a normal business setting. If I don't get a lot of eye contact it's obvious that she isn't interested.

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  • I think both are according to the person personality, some shy beause its there first date with the other person but some dont they just get into each other like they know each other

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  • Being someone who has trouble with eye contact, I would go with the other.

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  • By looking or "staring" it shows you are interested

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  • I want a dominant, supremely confident stare. I I want her to let me know that she owns me just by looking at me.

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  • Lack of eye contact is weak, but I wouldn't want someone staring at me all night

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  • I can't maintain eye contact with people I've known for years-so, I'd be pretty screwed.

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  • I don't know neither particularly bother me.

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  • Worse if she didn't look at me.

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  • stared at me frequently, i hate that

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  • I don't mind either

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What Girls Said 9

  • That's tough..! I wouldn't mind either of them too much.. Since that's simply how some people absorb information and communicate. I have a really shy friend that used to never ever make eye contact with me. It used to offend me very slightly, but I understood that it was just how he was as a person and he was just really shy. But I've also held conversations with people who would practically never cease making eye contact with me.. To the point where it felt almost invasive lmaoo. But I understand it's simply how people pay attention to you and it's their mannerisms. But I guess that in the end, the person who doesn't make eye contact would make a bit of a worse impression.. Simply because people convey a lot with their faces via facial expressions and especially their eyes. So it's sorta like missing out a bit. Eye contact alone can convey an entire message! I personally feel that eye contact just allows a deeper understanding and trust to develop between people. Even though both options hardly phase me, I suppose this is the result after thinking about this for a little bit ๐Ÿ˜…๐Ÿ‘Œ๐Ÿผ interesting question!

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    • This is reassuring. :) As someone who has an instinctive urge to avoid eye contact, I'm always forcing myself to look people in the eyes, but lately, it got me worried that I might be doing it TOO much, and that it might be weirding people out more than simply forgoing eye contact.
      It's good to hear that going overboard with eye contact is still somewhat preferable to going under-board with it.

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    • Thanks, Ebby. :)

    • Of course sis! ๐Ÿ˜˜

  • If there's only those options, then lack, certainly. Although the other extreme would make me think that they are actually trying to pull a crazy ideology on me (case in point: usually sect leaders have that "intense and long stare")

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    • You definitely do not want to date one of those guys.
      But, yeah, the purpose behind my question was to see just how undesirable an inability to hold eye contact is. Result: so much so that people would rather put up with 7+ seconds of intense staring, it seems!

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    • And then the anxiety on eyeliner and mascara being ruined... no, no way! I just don't stare. Also I think, in general, people don't take a "staring girl" very well.

    • No, they really don't. I've noticed that when I make a point of looking people in the eyes, after awhile, they make a point of NOT looking back. I've even had people start stuttering. I think 2-3 seconds is most people's limit. After that, it gets uncomfortable.

  • If weโ€™re talking he should be looking at me intently. Iโ€™ve experienced this with guys edited and it personally just makes me feel like they are actually listening (although they still probably arenโ€™t), and to me itโ€™s even a sign of their admiration or attraction. Wouldnโ€™t creep me out or anything at all.

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  • Both are unnerving, as staring is a dominant behavior and not making eye contact is an avoidance behavior. I think not making eye contact is slightly worse, but I would be creeped out by someone who kept staring at me like a serial killer assessing his next victim.

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  • If there's no eye contact at all, i would think he's not interested. But if its there but at an minimum level i'd think he's shy. I understand becahse I don't think I'm much different on a date. People who stare that long are often confident. I kind of like that on one hand, but in the other hand I may think he's a player. So I would set the focus more on his actions and how he's talking to you, what kind of questions he's asking, etc..

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  • Lack of eye contact would make me feel like the person wasnโ€™t interested and it would make me uncomfortable. That would be the biggest turn off.

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  • eye contact is sure important, and lack of it makes you feel like someone is not being sincere, but I have experienced too much eye contact and that was creepy... I felt like its too much and like he wanna read all about me, just to intimate that early on and it made me really uncomfortable
    So I woted "Intense and frequent staring would make a worse impression on me"
    While eye contact is desirable, honestly not every 2-3 seconds... he can not look that much and just be shy, Id prefer that... or he can look often but often look away too

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  • The staring would freak me out but I think it would make him look less interested in me if his eyes were wandering

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  • Lack of eye contact is worse.

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