My boyfriend asked me if I had disease before... rude question to your girlfriend?

when the relationship get started and my boyfriend asked me if I had diseases or had sexual partner before...
is that a rude question for partner?
all my exes or my sexual partners never asked me before...

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Most Helpful Guy

  • No, it's being smart/safe. You could also ask this back. He's concerned about STI, as everyone should be. Concerned about his health. Don't take it personally. He's not saying your a slut or implying anything, he's just simply asking that's all. It "means" nothing other than that.

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    • he said that just like you said! but we have already done it. He asked me did I have sexual partner before after we have done it... I feel he treats me as slut.

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    • Yes he sounds like it. Very.

    • Yes he was... actually I broke up with this guy 3 months ago. All my friends blame me that I broke up with this guy... because I told anyone he was such a nice person and won’t cheat on me. I truly believed that I could be his nice girlfriend... but I can’t trust him since he has got cheated on his exes a lot of times... it’s really rare to got cheated so many times.

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What Guys Said 22

  • Here's how I would handle it- I wouldn't ask about previous sexual partners, period, and I would suggest that we both get tested for STDs prior to having sex.

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  • I don't think it's rude to ask if they have or recently had any and have asked all sexual partners, in the interest of my health it's fair to ask. In my opinion it's rude to ask for a in depth history background of previous encounters.

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  • I don't think it's a rude question to ask. I'm actually am glad that he is asking because sexual health needs to be taken more seriously. I always ask before sex if they are clean. I am and I would like to keep it that way.

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  • its not rude. u have to be careful with those bitches these days.

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    • my boyfriend has got cheated on his exes so many times. 3 girlfriends in the past.

  • It´s a normal question. I´ve been asked that many times and I´ve asked it before

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    • What about after had sex? My ex boyfriend never asked it. Before even sexual partner too

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    • what if you will find out you got disease from that girl after you had sex with her?
      and that question doesn’t matter if she lied you...
      Your past girl is really smart that she ask you to show your test. I respect how she act.

    • Yup I agree that she was really smart. I did the same thing with my first girlfriend where I wanted to see her results (I was a virgin then). If I got a std from a girl who lied to me, I´d be devastated and feel really stupid. Then again, I don´t do casual sex so before I fuck anyone, I already know their history and what type of a person she is. The day might come when my judgement is wrong, but so far so good and now I´m in a relationship so gonna be std free for some time longer

  • How is it rude? If you bought a house wouldn't you want to know if there was mold? If he wants a long term relationship with you, it's obviously something he should know about

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  • It's not. He's just being safe. Tbh i woundn't see any problem in getting tester for any disease with a new girlfriend, if she asked me.

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  • Nothing rude about it. A guy is legitimately concerned about his health, as he's not some sorts of a seer to know your past.

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  • It's like a carfax you want to know how many accident the cars been in.

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  • No he might want something serious. With that being said some guys will ask that not to be rube but to see about/ get to know his future.

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    • His exes has cheated on him. 3 girlfriends in the past... I’ve never cheated on my ex. I feel he doesn’t look at me he looks at his ex.

    • And we have done it already. After we had sex he asked me those kind of question. I feel like He doesn’t trust me at all. I can understand how he felt. But I’m so much different than anyone.

  • If he's asking after 10 times maybe he feels itchy...

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    • Not at all. and it is impossible to he got disease from me because I got test every month. And it’s negative totally clear!:)
      I don’t know why he asked me but he told me that he wanted to know about his girl if she had disease or sexual partner before...
      and I thought it’s not good to ask to me those kind of questions by text. We were in a fight and he asked me at that time.

    • Itch doesn't mean disease but you can get itches from sex and the worried mind might wonder. I get itches sometimes and i know its not sti but i still worry lol

    • I prefer that you need girls get wet first before you try to have sex.

  • He may not have been graceful about it, but he's smart to ask.

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    • We done it already. He asked me after we done sex for 10 times

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    • my advice, just try to reassure him that you're only with him so he doesn't need to fear like in other relationships

      and if he keeps acting out even after trying to make him understand, then maybe you will have to leave. if he can't trust you

      but i hope you guys solve things.

    • @Missterio
      Actually I broke up with my boyfriend 3 months ago. I was trying to explain to him how I feel when he said something wrong which got hurt me. And he said “ I don’t do anything wrong to you. You imagine what you think of. I didn’t mean anything to you, just ask. And it’s make me tired and stressed out.”
      I’ve already told him I won’t cheat on my boyfriend even he cheated on me. I won’t revenge him...

  • I wouldn't ask this but I can understand why some would. it depends how and when it was asked

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    • Thanks for answering! When my boyfriend asked me this question, we had done for 10 times already. it’s super weird to ask me that question...

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    • Haha lol I’m not looking for guy to bed... but ya you are right:):):) no need stress for dating with someone...

    • sex needs to be fun and carefree

  • hell nah thats not rude thats a guy who cares about himself enough to not get an std

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  • I thought the standard was to ask the other partner to get tested. He's a responsible guy.

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  • You can never be too careful. You're lucky he's responsible

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  • I mean would you like to have surprise aids?

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  • Means he is smart... If not lacking in tact

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  • no thats not rude

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  • Not rude, smart. I have asked that many times

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What Girls Said 6

  • Not the most tactful way to address this, but I commend him for being responsible.

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    • thank you for giving me your opinion. Actually we have done already. More 10 times. he asked me those question... I felt he treat me as slut. He said “ I don’t treat you like that. You imagine that I treat you like slut. I’m too negative and make me stress.”

  • I've asked myself so no I don't think it's rude at all. Perhaps it's just safe practice should anything happen you know? Granted someone can lie to you but in your defense, you did ask and only you know who you have been with.

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    • thank you for answering my question!
      Me and him have done it already but he asked those question...

  • No I think that's a very healthy mind set to have actually. People should talk more about std's and sti's with their partners. You should ask when you pertner was last tested and when their last sexual experience was as well.

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  • not really

    It is a responsible question

    and it is also normal to ask for an std check up.

    since some stds can remain assympthomatic but you can still infect other people with them.

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    • I think he is actually a very sensible guy

      You're lucky he has a good head on his shoulders.

  • Of course it’s not, it’s something that should be discussed every time you have a new partner

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  • Not rude just safe thing. I only had been cheated on by my past ex boyfriend. Other two different girls got involved with two different relationships of mine. Have 4 ex boyfriend. On my 5 boyfriend

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