Should date planning be done by both genders?

Hi girls and guys !

I'm actually dating a beautiful woman, but i'm the only one scheduling the dates.

So i'm asking myself, does some women likes to be carried and always wait for the men to do the "date scheduling job", or some actually likes to suggest for the next date?

I find it frustrating to be the only one to ask because I don't want to be seen as a clingy guy :/
But I understand that some women are "old school" and likes to feel desired.

What is your opinion about this?
thanks !
  • Only men should schedule a date
    Vote A
  • Only women should schedule a date
    Vote B
  • Both women, and men should do it
    Vote C
Select age and gender to cast your vote:
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3749

Most Helpful Girl

  • Mm I guess, it just depends who's really good at planning on what to or were to go, ya know what I mean? Like she cod have plans but they might not be as thrilling as your plans a decides to go with yours cause she thinks her plans are boring. Or maybe she's just not good at planning dates? I don't know, I thought going to the zoo was a good plan but I could of been wrong. Luckily my boyfriend liked it on our first date

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    • thanks for your reply !
      I have indeed plenty of ideas and things to do during a date, so it's kind of easy for me to plan something.
      I always try to plan something she will be interested in.

      But yeah, maybe she is not good at planning dates.
      Going to the zoo for a first date is a good idea, you have tons of things to talk about, animals, nature... and you are not just sitting on a chair ;)

Most Helpful Guy

  • If you're in a relationship or even if you're starting out in a relationship, then YES!! The man and woman should both take part in planning the dates and outing. Having an equal say is what being in a relationship is about, at least in my opinion. Besides I would think it would be a lot more fun and enjoyable if both partners had an equal say in the date outing.

    Unfortunately where I live women seem to think it's unmanly for the man to ask the woman what she wants to do for a date. It's essentially expected that the guy will think of and take care of everything on a date... and in some case the relationship. I only moved to this city for work 3 years ago, but the thought process here is so extremely conservative it boggles my mind.

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Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 36

  • If you're having this problem then you need to ask her how come she hasn't asked or gave input on date planning. Both parties should make the attempt if they are truly interested in you. Otherwise, take heed, you could be dating somebody who has no interest as you do or is very indecisive.

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  • I vote for an equal responsibility, but I don't think there is anything wrong with traditional values. If that's what you like and what works for you. She might just be more traditional. That's something to consider before you get more serious. Just talk to her and ask her. Let her know that it's okay with you if she wants give suggestions.

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  • I love to be looked after... its a really nice 'old school touch' to be taken care of. If you are worried about looking clingy, then how about just wait a few more hours than you usually would to book up the next date? don't have to string her along for days and days, just hold back a little longer :)

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  • There is equal responsibility for date planning. I like to surprise my guy and say "get dressed, i have a date planned" and for us to do fun things.

    Relationships are a thing where BOTH partners should give 70% and only expect 30% in return.

    If it gets to a point where you are only reciving 30% on hee half she can't be worth it xx

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  • When my boyfriend and I first started dating, he planned most of the dates. After about a year we started planning them equally.
    7 years later and we still regularly go on dates, alternating who plans them.

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  • yes, keep it balanced and either may havr a cool idea so I think. I mean some people prefer things a certain way and if thats what your girl wants then you shouldn't feel clingy because it's what she likes so it's cool. Date planning and scheduling can be done by both and not create rules

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  • Maybe u should talk to her about it. you're doing nothing wrong it's nice of you to be responsible and arrange things. some women have been taught that theyre to be submissive and let the men do all the arrangements. find out from her or simply ask her to "surprise " you. pick somewhere she likes bc you're interested in knowing what Sparks her interest

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  • Coordinating the date doesn’t make you clingy. Coordinating a date every day of the week does. if you are asking her out, you should have a plan. Or you could wait until she asks you on a date to find out if she is the type to plan something.

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  • I like old traditional dates where the guy does the planning but I understand that that's a lot of work and I wouldn't mind alternating turns. You could also try to do things that take little to no planning like seeing movies or skating.

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  • It should be an even split between who plans. If somebody has a random fun idea for a date you could do that even if someone is planning another thing for later. Dating should be fun.

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  • Date a feminist, we pay for our halves and plan things as well!

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  • Remember, your lady may be shy about planning something if you're the one who usually pays - she doesn't want to plan something you can't afford.

    But yes - in as much as they can - it's great if couples plan dates together. And it's great if they surprise each other sometimes.

    I hope you can get your lady excited about sharing some ideas with you. Let her know you'd love if she tossed out some things she has always wanted to do, misses, doing, has a new restaurant she wants to try - could be anything.

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    • This too! His dime = his choice. Whomever is paying gets to decide, unless it's a special occasion.

  • It’s funny because the guy that I’m dating always schedule the dates all the time and it exciting to me cause Im always looking forward to our next date just to see what he has plan that’s one of the reason why I like him so much

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  • I think that both should take initiative to schedule a date because it shows that one is interested in the other.

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  • Same thing happen to me. I was literally always paying and always doing things. He never once did something for me. I say forget that cunt. Nobody regardless of gender desverse to be treat unfairly.

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  • I think both guys and girls should come up with some date ideas

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  • Both genders should be scheduling dates, or it should be done together.

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  • What's the point if only one half of the relationship plans stuff? When do they get surprised?

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  • I prefer shooting ideas out together to find somewhere we'll both have the most fun.

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  • I love planning dates! Lol but think both couples should takes part in it itsnice when your spouse surprises you on a date

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What Guys Said 48

  • I voted A, because at first, a man should do most of the planning. After you become exclusive and are in the relationship phase (rather than the dating/courtship phase), then I would encourage women to make some plans too. You can't expect a guy to always do the things you want and sometimes you might notice something that you want to try to experience. A guy should still set up dates though, but I think it should be closer to 50-50 as the relationship goes on.

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  • Haha. It's definitely both... If she don't do a think in that area when you guys become exclusive, then that's a sign she isn't worth shit if you go further or get married. People that do that won't change. Little things like that will give you a glimpse at the bigger picture... And that is a balanced, successful, equal relationship with your partner.

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  • I think so instead of letting tge guy do all the planning they should talk it out abd olan a fun date toghther cause a date it ment to get to know each other better and since thats the if it ends begin a fail cause you went somewhere he or she didn't like then a seconde date might be out the question but knowing SOME females not all SOME will say its the guys job to do this and that i when the date fails its guys ain't shit

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  • The first two or three if your date is shy you could plan first. Gauging her interest on what she's been looking into can tell if she takes an interest in those things. If she doesn't at all, then she's probably just expecting things or doesn't understand how the game works

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  • Both should do it, but I've never met a woman who actually has. And those relationships don't last, if they don't care enough about you to make plans, and you're doing all the work, why even bother with them? You're pouring your heart and soul into an endless void

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    • and of course the guy can make plans, butt the girl should at least be interested and have a care in the world instead of just like "yeah good idea, see you then" every single time

    • I have a lot of respect for both of my sisters in this type of situation, they're both married and they put in equal say when they and their husbands are planning trips. I hope I can eventually find a girl who is like this.

      Because as you said, if only one person puts in the effort and the other is just chilling out expecting you to do all the work. Then it's as though you're not only trying to plan a date, but also read your partners mind as far as what type of date would be the most fun for them.

  • Both men and women should plan dates. Its a great way to get to know each other's preferences for food, activities, etc instead of one person always doing the planning.

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  • I think it would be less stressfull for us, the guys. But it would make it ( even ) more fun for the girl. If you plan it together, a fun date is guaranteed right?

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    • I agree it would be less stressful for us. I 'll try to talk to her about this and know what she think.
      And yeah you are right, it could bring fun for her and see if you are a creative guy or not.

    • Hell yeah, i don't see why we aren't doing this all along. it's only positive for both of the sexes

    • Also, she is a very shy person so that's not gonna help in my situation ^^'

  • I have had enough woman that where to busy, or to lazy to actually come up with something to do or even when. "You choose". It frustrates me. A woman without an opinion is extremely unattractive in my eyes.

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  • Me and my girlfriend both organise a special Aniversary thing once a year. So i did it last year she's happy to do it this year apart from that we pretty much chill unless we agree on something we both wanna do

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  • Yes. Although if they are indecisive to the end. They better not complain. Beggars can't be choosers. I'll end up both of you not going or one of you rightfully bored.

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  • I don't think women 'should' schedule dates necessarily, but if after a period of time they don't at least make suggestions or call you and ask if you would like to do this or that activity, then you are probably not the only man in her life.

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  • Absolutely, women are extremely good planners, if my girlfriend wants to plan dates I'd be happy, if she doesn't then I will, for me I just aim to make her happy

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  • Whoever asks for the date should do it. If it's the girl's idea, she should plan it and if it's the guy's use he should plan it.

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  • If you're doing all the initiation you are carrying the relationship. If she was into you she would make plans.

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  • depends on the nature of your relationship and what you are both happy with, but i think both genders are capable of planning a date night ;)

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  • You are French!

    Treat it with the imagination and free-spirited way that Platini played football. Less planning and more flow. Like football, dating should be the 'beautiful game'

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  • It would be boring if the same person always comes up with the date, but one lover might be better at it than the other.

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  • Yes, I hate date planning but I'm supposed to always be the one with the plan on what to do. At least in most past relationships.

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  • I'm cool with planning the first few but if she doesn't start asking me to do things too then I'll lose interest.

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  • If she's going on the dates, and not cancelling, and seems happy what's not to like? 😀

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