My boyfriend and I used to be very sexually active. Now we're barely having sex. Is he cheating on me?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Assuming he's close to your age, mid-to-late thirties is usually when the male sex drive starts to diminish anyway. Perhaps he's not getting enough exercise? Try taking him to the gym with you or something. If you start putting a lot of effort into getting into shape, he will probably follow your lead, and the sex will improve.

    That or he wants some sort of kink that you are unlikely to provide, so he avoids sex rather than be disappointed.

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    THIS IS NOT RELEVANT ANYMORE
    • he's 46. When I met him he told me outright he's sexually active.

    • sexually active is not the same thing as having a high sex drive. And even if he said he had a high sex drive, pretty much every guy thinks that about himself, so..

Most Helpful Girl

  • In my experience the 2 year mark is generally the time sex becomes less frequent. The relationship isn't as exiting & it get's to feel like a bit of a chore unless you're really in the mood &/or you's just feel more comfortable to just sit & enjoy each other's company.

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    THIS IS NOT RELEVANT ANYMORE

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What Guys Said 15

  • Don't jump to that conclusion unless you've got other evidence to suggest that? He may just be "comfortable" in the relationship and doesn't "need" it as much? Or, life just has a habit of getting in the way. Talk to him about it!!! Tell him you miss it and ask what's changed or what you guys can do to fix it. If you have children, or you guys are very busy with work and life in general, maybe you guys need to "make/plan" time together. Start making it a priority.

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  • Sometimes porn is more interesting. Also, sometimes guys lose confidence and don't feel like they're going to be able to please you enough... Or worried about getting it up. So they avoid it.

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  • Possibly or possibly he just lost sex drive.

    It happens and it's shit.

    People get you involved and invested and then their libido just fucks off. Leaving their partner high and dry.

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  • Well maybe, either something has changed with you or him physically or he has lost his sex drive for some reason.. Or the worst case he has found someone that is satisfying him sexually

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    • Anytime I initiate its rare he reciprocates or gets nasty when I try or tells me he has "a lot going on" that he doesn't tell me about

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    • That is a joke... What is stopping, you from leaving?

    • What he said ^^^

  • It possible he's cheating. But personality I don't think he's just in the mood or there are other pressing things on his mind besides sex

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  • Stress can cause someone to be less aroused, and personally I've come to a point in my life where sex doesn't have as much meaning as it used too

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  • At our age we have less desire. Doesn't automatically mean he's cheating. The real question is how he responds when you initiate sex

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  • He may just not be interested, or stressed, or just focused on something else with you. Trying to spice things up may help.

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  • More likely bored

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  • is he stressed?

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  • Sure

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  • Do you try initiate sex?

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  • prob just bored

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  • Its possible

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  • Yes, with porn. He just tired of the same old dried out puss is all.

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    • I ain't dry and sex with porn well thats a stupid choice

    • Well I'm not around to actually test your theory so I'll just have to take your word for it..

What Girls Said 4

  • Do you have any other evidence of cheating and how long has this been going on?

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    • No. But whenever I initiate he claims lately he's not in mood or he has a lot on his mind. In meantime I don't hear from him at night. He picks fights with me whenever I say I want to be closer to him.

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    • Stress can hugely affect sex drive, especially financial problems...

    • That could definitely be it

  • Most likely, yes. Guys with high sex drives don't just suddenly lose interest for no reason.

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  • How long have you been dating?

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  • Maybe, or he's bored

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