I'm upset with my boyfriend. How do I go about this?

The original plan was for me and my boyfriend to spend the weekend together. We're going to Disney next weekend and we have a lot of last minute planning to do. He is a very last minute person and I am the opposite. His job was to get the Disney tickets and my job was to book the hotels. I took care of that weeks ago and since then I have been reminding him to transfer me the money to get the Disney tickets. His parents were helping him out with the tickets and he hates asking them for money even though they already said they would help him. We are driving to Disney and he was in charge of getting the Sunpass (a sticker that goes on the car to let you pass the tolls). He didn't do that and it takes 7 days to be mailed to you so now we do not have time for that. I'm upset because that was on him. Like I said, the original plan was for us to spend the weekend together and it was going to be fine. We had unexpected snow in our state and he got stuck on campus at school because driving conditions were dangerous. So he has been staying with his friend. He has just been really bad at communicating the past few days. Thursday night I called and texted and couldn't get in touch with him. We were supposed to have dinner at his grandma's house on Friday and I still needed to know if that was happening which it didn't bc of the weather. I was freaking out all Thursday night and finally got a call from him on Friday afternoon. He said that everything was okay and that he's staying with a friend and can't drive home. That night I still couldn't get in touch with him and I needed the money. I know he's with his friend just smoking weed. Haven't been able to get in touch with him today. I am so upset that he can't pick up the damn phone and that I've been planning our entire trip myself. I have no idea when he is coming back home or anything because the phone keeps ringing. I'm so angry and don't know what to do. Still haven't heard from him today and I'm going insane. Any advice?
Updates:
He just called me and we had a 3 minute conversation. He literally was like "whats up". I told him that I was upset I didn't hear from him and that I'm not trying to start anything. He was like its a Saturday why are you stressing out. Bc he wasn't answering my calls or texts. He said they lost power for a while and that the roads are still bad to drive on so he's staying at his friend's again. I am still so frustrated at him.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Yeah, relax. Being stressed out and freaking out doesn't help, so chill. You acknowledged that you know he's not much of a planner. So everything you left to him is partially on you. That's your fella, for better of for worse. If you like planning and are good at it, just do it and leave him out of it. If it's stressing you out all the time and you aren't being rewarded appropriately, you have to think about cutting him loose. That said, I'm not a planner anymore. I didn't like the rigidity of it. But I have a friend who is good at it and doesn't mind. Sometimes she plans things for us, and sometimes I just surprise her with an impromptu adventure. We always have a good time either way. So ask yourself this: are you getting out of this relationship enough to justify putting up with his shenanigans? If so, relax and let him surprise you now & again. If not, move on. There are certainly other fellas out there who appreciate a planner, or even do their fair share of planning. Either way, you'll be OK.

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    • Yeah I am very stressed right now. It's not even like I asked him to take care of it. We are splitting the cost. I can't even do it for him unless he transfers me the money. I love him a lot but I am so angry at him right now and I wish he would just answer the phone. He must still want to go because he sent me half of the money for our tickets last night.

Most Helpful Girl

  • Well when he come home you need to talk to him like SERIOUSLY im not sure whats he up to really? and maybe call his friends and pass the phone to your boyfriend and talk? I guess that would be good and call yor boyfriend mom too maybe she might know? or tell her to call your boyfriend :D

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    • I really would like to know when he's going home so we can talk! I don't have his friend's phone number. He would totally kill me if I called or texted his mom.

    • Why would he do that? XD and Maybe ask your friends who are friends with your boyfriend friends so maybe they can get hold of your boyfriend friend :)

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 19

  • Really nothing to do but to just wait. Im a last minute person as well but i hate when plans are made and someone doesn't hold up their end, or even worse doesn't communicate that their end isn't done so compensation/adjustments can be made. Irks me to no end.

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  • This guy doesn't sound like he wants to do anything, let alone going to Disney. Honestly you should take this up with him, and tell him how you feel. You don't want to just bottle this up and hope it will go well. And if he doesn't want to go, then so be it.

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  • I'd give you about 30 seconds of this whiny 'upset' and 'freaking out' bullshit before I told you to piss up a rope. Sorry, but all that drama is pointless and a waste of mental energy.

    If you're this frustrated from a fun vacation trip planning, what are you going to do when there's something really important? Fall completely apart?

    Uh, no, you can't handle things yet, do some more growing up - you're not even ready to have a boyfriend.

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  • First things first relax take a bath masturbate I don't know but you need to be calm it will help you a lot

    Now talk to him about how he's been acting because he seems to not care about the trip (i do things at like last second too but when i really like it or things like that i make an effort to not be too late)

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    • I am really trying to relax and I would feel better if I could talk to him, but I get no answer on the phone. He's probably high with his friend all day and I'm so frustrated.

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    • There is still snow outside but the sun is out so it is melting. He's about an hour away so I am not sure how bad it is over there. It's going to get dark soon and probably freeze over so I wish I could know what is going on with him and what he's doing.

    • Maybe he is using that time to get away from the stress you may have put on him too

  • 1. You are going to break up sooner or later, so you might as well make it sooner and cut your losses.

    2. Don't ever date a guy who can't pay for everything from his own pocket. There are plenty of guys who can take care of you.

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    • Its 2017. Equality and shit bro

    • @johnboymuscles
      Her boyfriend is worse than asking her to pay for half. "His parents were helping him out".

      That is an entitled little boy on his mama's tit.

      And many women want to be taken care of. They don't go for that feminist baloney.

  • RELAX. you gave your answer in the first line it self. I am also similar to you. Planning events freak us out if something don't goes as per the plan. Just send a message and ask him to tell point details. Dont discuss things just ask simple one word two word answers. And plan accordingly. Dont freak out. Keep calm.

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    • I'm trying to, but the problem is that I can't get in contact with him. He's not answering because he's probably high and its so frustrating to me.

    • Weekend's over any update?

  • Treat him like a stranger til he promises not to do is again and comes begging for you on his hands and knees. Don't concern yourself with him until then.

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  • Wow, this account sounds all over the place!

    Do you have to cancel the trip to Disney now because of this winter storm?

    Okay, your boyfriend screwed up on the sunpass toll sticker, just suffer and pay the tolls with money, bitch at him later! If you already knew this guy was a lazy bum when it came to scheduling and getting everything ready for a trip, why did you assign any responsibilities to him?

    Also, I have nothing against pot smokers, I used to be one and with pride, but if this guy is not taking anything seriously, not your trip, not any plans to have dinner with family, he is just a flat out bum! I feel sorry for you, you have to take care of him from what it sounds like!

    Also, how long has this winter storm been going on? What about that trip to Disney? Again, this story lacks a timeframe for the events you describe and really, this guy you are dating is coming off like a real bum!

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  • Just ask him to be more co-operative, have a tall about it and make it clear you're sick of that shit, if that doesn't help threaten with something that restricts him from things, from smoking weed of whatever so he will be taking it serious

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    • I would love to talk to him about it but I can't get him to answer the phone.

  • Well, you have a legit reason to be upset.

    Now, as a neutral observer looking at this from the outside, I'd say this. People have strengths and weaknesses. Couples do well to recognize this and plan accordingly and "complement" each other. If you KNOW ahead of time he is really last minute and apparently not a good planner and organizer and we KNOW you are then it would make sense for you to take the lead in situations like this. Putting him in charge of so much planning and details when he sucks at it was kind of setting this trip up for failure.

    If you are good at it than it would be wise for you guys to utilize your talent.

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  • Honestly this is bs. He needs to grow up and get his shit together. When he finally comes home ( NOT IMMEDIATELY ) y'all need to have a talk that night discussing this and demand action. He is proving himself not dependable and in a relationship ( to me anyway ) it is very important to be dependable and trusted. He needs a eye opener. Perhaps he's comfortable and you let him get to this point cause you never stood up before and honestly you need to make a stand and make a firm ( but loving ) stand.

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  • He's taking the piss and sounds selfish. Takin u for granted. Wait for him to contact u and don't phone or text him as he knows u will

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  • As a former smoker he's probably high and feeling guilty. Don't angry approach him and maybe he'll talk to you

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    • I totally know he was smoking last night. He must be doing it today also. I haven't heard from him today and its driving me crazy. I have no idea if he is going home or staying and we still have so much planning to do. I'm angry and stressed.

  • You knew what he was like yet expected him tovbe different. Thats on you

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  • He needs to show more effort and empathy. He needs to be more thoughtful. You aren't overreacting or anything but to me this seems less like him being a late planning person and more of just not giving a fuck. Also just like (sorry) you obviously are more mature. He got a lot of advice and reminders from u help from his folks (I understand his money thing tho). But he should of kicked into gear about midway through. I may be a late planner myself but when i really want to do something I have everything done and planned far before unless its not 100% on me

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    • Thank you. The thing I'm really pissed off about is that I can't get in contact with him. The phone just keeps ringing and no answer. I am so frustrated.

    • Yeah thats the thing. He should be answering. Not just cuz he's ur boyfriend but cuz if it were on his mind he would understand why u were probably constantly calling

    • "Why are you stressing cause its Saturday"?

  • Sounds like he doesn't want to go to Disney just saying

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    • He must still want to go bc he transferred me half of the money for the tickets last night.

    • Still wants to go or still sort of wants to make you happy/keep you from being mad at him

    • That is so dismissive wtf, talk about disrespectful

  • Only a girl could type that much. And I mean cut him some slack

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  • I know that you sent me a request for my opinion, but honestly... things don't add up.

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  • To be fair, when isn't a girl upset with a man

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What Girls Said 7

  • Well uh either something else happened either with you both or just in his life or he doesn't want to go?

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    • Nothing happened with us. He must still want to go because he transferred me half of the money for the Disney tickets last night.

    • Well I guess something might have happened that he hasn't told you about yet. I don't know. Either way I hope it works out!!!



  • The situation you are in is really frustrating. i totally feel you. see as you said earlier he is with his friend and probably high on weed with no idea as to where his phone is.
    You can do either of the two,
    Sit back and wait for him to come back or reach you back through calls.
    OR
    call up your girls and take them with you, enjoy your time there and come back. And after you are back deal with the boyfriend.

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  • He better gets his shit together and swallow that ego, or this relationship's going to blow. It's just a trip to disney and it's hell, I'm afraid about what the future will bring if he keeps this up... You two have a serious talk, it's like he takes all this effort you put in this for granted. No idea why he isn't answering, he knows that this trip is important and that time's running out, he's gotta be the 'man of the house' not you

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  • I would not put up with that especially if he's smoking weed. That means he's basically a pothead and is never going to be responsible.

    I would find someone else to go to Disney with or cancel the reservation and get your money back. I think you're entitely justified in being upset. It's rude, inconsiderate and expensive!

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    • If that's your only argument you can come up with is because he smokes weed, then your ignorant. He's a douche, that's it, she needs to dump him. He cares more about having fun than his obligations, so he's clearly not ready to accept any major responsibilities. Honestly it all together sounds like something is going on scandalous, because I've been sitting there with my friends, yes having a smoke and I kept in prefect contact with my ex. It's about the level of importance he puts her on and id say she is a low on his list, it doesn't take long to text someone and say they are going to be incommunicado for a while and to check in later

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    • @lastchancemotel There is no point in saying anything because whatever information I give you, you will provide something to counter it. It's your choice to do whatever you want.

    • There is a point, you can't bring anything to the table to counter because there IS nothing. The guy is scum and he doesn't deserve her, that's simple but to throw all the cannabis smokers under the bus because you want to be close minded is disrespectful. You claim to know how we think better than we do, and yet you don't even know half. you resist looking at fact because it goes against your oppinion, you spread hateful generalization and listen to propaganda because you can't step back from your own oppinion to look at the big picture and see you are being controlled, instead believing you are better than others for it. Do you take meds of any kind? Eat fast food? Non organic food? How about drinking coffee or soda? Guess what you are altering your thought patters and body more than I ever will, so have fun with that

  • Girl I’m sorry but he ain’t shit. First of all, the communication you’re getting from him is pathetic. I get more response from my dog than him. The him doing everything last minute will never change, it stays like that. Clearly he’s not emotionally invested in this relationship whatsoever, and it’s better you know that now than later. I’ll be honest and say I don’t think this will last, not long anyway. He’s so distant and it’ll only get worse. Trust me. You deserve better.

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  • Don't ever make plans that rely on someone else. If you do everything yourself the off time someone helps out with something you are relieved but your plans never get screwed up. Just don't worry about their stuff either.

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  • It is a long story. But it looks like a curse. That is all. I will pray for you. But you can pray too. You will see miracles. :) ok.

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