Am I wrong for asking my boyfriend this question?

So every now and then I like to have reassurance that my boyfriend still finds me attractive. I try to ask him in a lighthearted way if he still thinks I’m pretty and for some reason it always turns into a big fight. He always gets mad at me for asking that question and says I make it seem like he doesn’t do enough for me when I tell him that he does. Sometimes I just have my insecure days and would like some reassurance in a simple “of course you’re beautiful to me”. But instead he gets upset and sometimes even threatens to break up with me because of it. Am i in the wrong for asking him this question?
Updates:
I guess it just stems from the fact that i have caught him flirting with his coworker and the fact that he can easily tell her she’s beautiful and her smile makes him happy but gets upset when I ask him gives me some insecure days every now and then.

0|0
018

Most Helpful Guy

  • i think he doesn´t see your insecurity. i think he sees a lack of trust. cause he wouldn´t be with you if you weren't attractive and by asking if he finds you attractive, you basically imply he's living a lie.

    maybe don't ask him if he finds you attractive. maybe tell him that you feel so ugly today. that may trigger his protective instinct, cause the message you send this way is different than "asking if you're still attractive" cause at some point a guy will be annoyed. cause how often does he need to reestablish that you´re attractive to him? for him it didn't change and it's just annoying to be asked the same thing over and over as if one wasn't able to tell the truth.

    0|0
    0|0

Recommended Questions

Loading...

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 17

  • Do you explain that to him, like you did here? And if so, he still acts that way? Because I get it and no reason to be/get upset over it. I don't know why he's reacting that way? You're certainly not in the wrong, he's just taking it the wrong way for some reason?

    0|0
    0|0
  • Don't impose your insecurities on your partner. If he didn't find you attractive, he would not date you in the first place. Constantly asking the same question is annoying.
    Besides, looks are not the only factor in attraction.

    0|1
    0|0
  • Don't know if you are wrong in asking, but I often say this to the girl I like :
    you are so adorable, you are just so lovable, so cute, I just wanna look at you and nothing else cuz you are so beautiful etc...

    But hey that's just me dk about other guys

    0|0
    0|0
  • Well, no need to get upset about it on his end. Honestly I would think you were insecure for asking, and know that you need to work on your confidence. Nothing he can do about that, only you can learn to accept yourself. Something is off with him and the relationship is likely not helping your confidence. Doing with coworkers? He's insecure too... Which may lead to other things. If I'm committed to someone else, I keep it professional.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Personally, that question makes me feel like I'm not doing enough to show I care. It can be frustrating to feel like that especially if you believe that you are doing all you can. Have you tried explaining that you ask because of your own insecurities?

    0|0
    0|0
  • I'm all for open communication, but this particular question shouldn't have to be asked. As a general rule, if a question only has one possible answer, don't bother asking.

    Also, the fact that you need to ask indicates that you have deep-seated insecurities that would be best addressed by professional therapy.

    0|0
    0|0
  • He does things for you because he thinks you are attractive/important to him. He gets angry, when you ask him that question possibly because, to him it means you dont see or acknowledge his sacrifices. I don't know...

    0|0
    0|0
  • Either he's just tired of you asking all the time, or he doesn't find you attractive and don't want to tell you.

    2|0
    0|0
  • No that's good because it keeps y'all interested in each other and then you know that's how I'm wasting all this time and you're not being used and it also indicates that he is a real human being

    0|0
    0|0
  • Is it a test?

    If he gets a boner, you are attractive so you asking seems really weird. It's like coming inside from the rain and asking if it will rain

    0|0
    0|0
  • Insecurity can be very unattractive. I'm not saying you're wrong but I see his side, I'd be annoyed that you're constantly questioning my judgement.

    0|0
    0|0
  • You are wrong my girlfriend did it all the time and it was really frustrating.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Of course not sometimes you just need to hear it

    0|0
    0|0
  • You have self esteem issues...

    0|0
    0|0
  • dont keep that kind of guy. move on

    0|0
    0|1
  • He should not get angry, even if it is annoying him. Could be you have a lot of insecure days too though and it gets a bit repetitive.

    0|0
    0|0
  • If it's truly lighthearted, then I don't know what his problem is. You are allowed to ask that for yourself. If you say it's for your own security, then he should respect that. But try to be confident, as well

    2|0
    0|0

What Girls Said 0

Be the first girl to share an opinion
and earn 1 more Xper point!

Recommended myTakes

Loading...