Was it a good idea?

Me and my friend we started being very close. We would hold hands, cuddle during movies, he would text me everyday, we kissed and had sex once. In October he told me that he was not ready for a relationship just yet ( he got out of 3 years relationship in May) So I waited for him to be ready since he told me that he would tell me when that time would come that he is ready. Its been 9 weeks... He did talked to me almost everyday but he never made plans for us to see each other or talk about what happen. The only time that he would talk about the situation is when he was drunk. ( I would tell me how much he likes me, how much he wants to see me, that he is so sorry for what happen and that his ex fucked this up for me. That he is scared of relationship) Last week, he texted me again drunk asking if he could tell me something that he acually really mean. I told him to say it when he wouldn't have alcool in the system... I waited 3 days and he never contacted me.. I think there's a difference between being patient for love and being blind about the situation. So I decided to delete me on everything.. But now I am having doubt.. Was it the right decision?


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What Guys Said 2

  • Wow, ok, that's a lot.
    *deep breath* so least start with this. Do you like him? I don't mean like as in into him, I mean it as in do you like his company, his personality, his habits and quirks and behaviors. People fall in and out of love daily, and continue without the thing the "love" after a period of time with little to no repercussion. When you like someone, when you're their friend, and truly just enjoy them as they are, every fight, every dispute... it all just falls away after a while and you bounce back. You said he was your friend first, so from their, build on that. That's a lesson I learned from my grandma.

    Now for my grandpa's lesson: there are no drunk liars. People have fears, and doubts, and overthink. Especially about major decisions like a career change, or a relationship. When someone is so stupid drunk that they sound/act different, those fears and doubts are still there, but the thinking part tends to go out the window, and people tend to word vomit, saying whatever comes to their minds. If he's telling you that he's into you when he's drunk, he most likely is. Especially if he goes silent for the next few days, cuz he's probably petrified he even said anything in the first place. Try asking him first, though, instead of him bringing it up. He might need reassurance.

    As for the deleting all your accounts, I think it was maybe an impulse decision, but maybe one you needed. Take a minute for you, get your bearings, and then try again. Talk to him, reassure him, and let him know how you feel about the situation. Silence solves nothing. It just breeds further confusion.

    Sorry about the long post, by the way... didn't feel like a short answer would help this as much as it sounds like it needs.

    • Yes I like him. I just feel so secure when I am around him. We have so much to talk about, have the same humour, interest and similar goals.. My mom also told me to be patient since he seems to have been hurt in his past relationship. I found myself thinking.. maybe he is just bad at communicating. Maybe space will make him realize that he miss spending time with me. I don't know what to thing at this point. Everything was going great until he told me he was not ready for a relationship. We were acting like a couple... we were just not official. thank you for your respond :)

  • Yeah that was the smartest thing to do. He's toxic stay away from him.


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