What would you do if you were in a relationship with a girl and she was afraid to have sex with you because she thinks it’s going to hurt?

Let’s say you’ve been dating this girl and she’s afraid to have sex with you because she’s a virgin and thinks it’s going to hurt. How would you comfort her or bust her confidence when getting intimate.

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24

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  • I'd do what I normally do... slowly take steps forward, see what she's ok with. Once I know what she doesn't allow/ want to do yet, I ease off, and keep going with the easier things.
    Honestly tho, if it was up to me, I'd have stopped at kissing with all my exes. I don't want to have sex, or do anything sexual. If she wants me to do it, then fine, I'll do the best I can.
    Don't worry about it. You DON'T HAVE TO do anything. If he can't process this kinda stuff, you're better of looking for a smarter dude..

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What Guys Said 23

  • Just go slow. From what I've heard like 80% of the fear is just anticipation of the pain and not the pain itself. Like it'll be sore but way less then what is built up in your head. I'd just go in slowly (don't shove it all in at once) so she can get used to it, or if she's got the confidence, let her go on top so she can be in control

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  • Give her time, make her understand, show her articles and stuff from the internet...
    Tell her it is bound to happen sometime...
    While making out, be a little dominant.. Turn her on, give time to foreplay; she'll do it

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  • I would give her the time she requires, but bring sure that this relationship may workout in the end.
    In front of love, sex won't matter that much. But if she feels it wrong doing it, then maybe the relationship is unstable or something

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  • I'd tell her she was under 18 and she could wait as long as she wanted probably would be in her best interest not to have sex and open the door to pregnancy because being pregnant and having a child before she got her education and career is the leading cause for living in poverty.

    There are so many other ways to have orgasms and heightened emotional connection during relationships don't screw up your life for something you have so many years to explore later.

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  • I'd say starting slow oral and fingers to start with building up to toys, eventually a comfort level will be reached where penetrative sex will be more comfortable.
    This doesn't have to be things she is just doing with a boyfriend some private time exploring herself is not bad and will allow her to play with toys if a boyfriend gets intimidated by them

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  • First, I am not sure if you can really call it an 'relationship' at this point. Second I have have higher tolerance for virgins, even though it's not limitless. Also I would try to find out if it's really purely out of fear or because she is not interested in me. Also I can understand her fears, but in the end of the day, if most girls was able to survive it, why can't she? Also I believe that the mean fear should be about losing it for the wrong guy.

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  • I'm not going to force, it could have the opposite effect. However, I would ask: "Hey, do you think I would ever hurt you? I will tell you, I would never, never never ever! "

    It depends on everyone though. I know how to confort my girlfriend but you have to adapt if ever.

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  • Do you mean BOOST her confidence? Have you done anything beyond kissing yet?
    I've never known any woman who said their first time didn't hurt, so that's pretty much unavoidable.

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  • Id imagine she is under 18, if you want to be anything but a dickhead you leave it well alone until she decides its time, if you can't do that find new, it will end in drama otherwise

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  • I would tell her it would be OK if u don't want to do it but I will make sure to be gentle and try to make u feel good before it and caress u sweetly and lovingly and warm u up to it before we do and tell u that everything is going to be ok

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