Why is my friend's ex-girlfriend messaging me? Would it be bad for me to pursue her?

Well, let me elaborate...

I've been friends, practically best friends, with this guy John for 2 years. Just 3 days ago, I stopped talking to John because he became less of a friend and more of a manipulator and user. He's been weighing me down and I don't want to associate with him anymore. I've confronted him about his behavior 4 different times, but he refuses to change.

A couple of months ago, he started talking to this girl he met online. He's a famous YouTuber and she commented on one of his videos. He replied to her and they started talking. Let's say her name is Natasha. John and Natasha got very close. They snapchatted and texted each other everyday. He saw her naked. They skyped. They've even stayed on the phone all night. Problems started to arise when John did not want a long distance relationship. Natasha tried to get him to meet in person, but she lives 5 states away from us. John is not even interested in trying to do that anymore, so he just kind of ghosted her.

She's been depressed and does not want to talk to him anymore. She messaged me last night to complain extensively about him. We talked for over 8 hours. I told her that I was done with him too. She told me that she wants to move on from him.

I think she's cute and smart, but I've only talked to her 2 times before this. Those conversations only lasted about 5 minutes. Was she trying to get through to me in order to get to him? Was she just using me as a messenger? Is she interested in me? Would it be bad if I pursued her? I'm not gonna pursue her to get back at him because I don't hold grudges. And I'm not his friend anymore, so I don't think it would be bad if I went for her.


Most Helpful Girl

  • She’s looking for an emotional outlet that she needs to deal with on her own. You’re just making it worse for her by extensively talking about it and she will linger in that moment not progressing which for her feels good at the moment but becomes in the long run very toxic for her and you.


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What Girls Said 2

  • She's probably trying to make him jealous in order to force him to make a move.

  • Dont do that to yourself. She probably wants to get back at him. Just move on, she's not worth it.


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