How can I overcome this stubborn heartbreak?

So, I've always been quite sensitive when it comes to guys and maybe lacking confidence. I messed up relationships with some guys because I left at the first sign they were losing interest. I missed an opportunity to date the nicest and hottest guy at school because I thought he was joking. I met a few guys subsequently that I had reason to doubt them (two of them were players) and so I decided not to go through that anymore and not to date after that until I found someone I thought was marriage material. I get a lot of interest though. From a lot of hot men. But I would need to see effort to trust someone again. So, there was a guy I worked with. It was obvious from the start that he had a crush on me but I didn't feel the same way at first and thought he was immature. Still, we developed a friendship and hung out together a lot. His best buddy told me he was after me. He'd treat me differently to the rest of the staff. He'd offer me support if I was having a bad day. He'd make jokes about marrying me. He'd tell me he thought I was beautiful. This was over a course of maybe 10 months. Now, as I said, it takes a lot of time for me to trust someone. I finally trusted him. He didn't flirt with any of the other girls and a guy who'd worked with him for 5 years told me he'd never seen someone around a girl the way he was with me. So, anyway, I told him that I liked him too and he should ask me out properly. He was then like: oh no, I don't like you in that way and seemed to find it hilarious that I'd taken his actions for real. I was angry af. And then he was angry that I was angry at him. He seemed to want things to go back to the way they were but I was so incredibly hurt that I cut him off. He tried to talk to me after work but I walked away from him. Since then he hasn't spoken to me either since and blocked me on Facebook. I left that job and he said to me "it's a shame you're going" but I couldn't look him in the eye.
That was 6 months ago and I'm still hurting so badly. I've never hurt like this before and I've bounced back from relationships of over 2 years quicker. I can't face going out and I think about it all the time and feel physical pain (shooting pain) in my hands when I think about it. I just can't stop thinking about him. I just want these thoughts to go or at least get some closure on it. I've not seen him since and I thought that would help, but it's gotten worse not better. Should I see him?
UPDATE: So I've been trying to get over it by: i. focusing on all the things I didn't like about him, ii. hoping I'll never see him again and trying to avoid him, iii. being angry about the way he's treated me and dating/looking for better guys.

This is the "repress from mind" strategy. It has failed massively. I just feel angry, hurt and upset and I see him post positive things on Facebook and it just makes me angrier and sadder.

So, I've decided to try a new strategy.


Most Helpful Guy

  • Focus on you. Do things that you like doing. Whether they're public, or private, doesn't matter. You have trust issues, thats a very common thing. It's okay to be reluctant to trust anyone, especially if you've had trust abused before. Just remember that the one who is truly incredible, the one who you will spend your life with, will be easy to trust, will be easy to be with. The chemistry is there when it's there, and believe me, it's a powerful thing. One thing to remember, long lasting, beautiful relationships, take time and energy to maintain. You'll find the one. I don't doubt that at all, just push yourself out of your comfort zone. That's where the best experiences, and frankly the best people, are.


Most Helpful Girl

  • Look he couldn’t care less about you that’s the real truth now you want to run after him and repeat the same shit again that he put you through?


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What Guys Said 2

  • I think you just miss the kind of attention he paid you. Which you will find again.

    • I think you might be right. I didn't want him until he started showing that level of interest. Hell, I wasn't even 100% sure that I wanted him when I went for him. I guess I just wanted that love. And maybe what this experience has taught me is to not keep walling myself away to keep protected (as I can get hurt anyway), but to go out there and really LOOK for good men.

    • That's a good take away. I'd be lying if I said I didn't do the same.

  • Sadly not completely, but almost.


What Girls Said 0

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