If you kiss a guy, do they assume they "got you"?

I went on a date with a guy the other day. He seems to be the type that gets a lot of women tends to get his way because of his reputation (he's a semi-famous musician). He's a real charmer though, so I can see right through his compliments and flattery. I did not melt at his feet when he tried to flatter me, didn't melt when he tried to impress me by bragging about his career and success. I remained grounded.
We ended up kissing at the end of the date (making out even).

However, I don't want him to think that he's got me just because I kissed him. I want him to try and earn me instead of seeing him as one of many girls that want him badly.

Did I mess it up by kissing him? If so, what can I do for damage control? So that he knows that he still has to try and earn me--that he doesn't quite have me.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Dudes on here are being a bunch of cunts. Yeah he should have to earn you, show that you're a chick with self respect that deserves go be wooed and you aren't just going to fawn all over him because he can play an instrument well. A kiss doesn't mean shit so you're prolly good. I've kissed quite a few girls that I knew I didn't "have" them we just were making out because we were bored or because making out is fun.

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    • Hey John! Thanks for the advice! You're right!
      When I see him next time, how can I gracefully stop him if he get's too touchy feely and tries to push him limits a little more? Like what's a good phrase?

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What Guys Said 8

  • Wait a second he has to earn you? Are you kidding me? He has a good career as a musician, what do you have?

    And yes making out with him probably gave him the wrong idea. I mean doesn't even make sense why not just a hug. Do you make out with any guy you date?

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    • You're acting like a kiss or even making out means literally anything. And he doesn't deserve any girl just because he's a semi famous musician he still needs to have personality and show that he's not a piece of shit.

    • What? Kissing and making out is acting?

      So when a husband kiss his wife is that acting too?

      That's up to the woman to decide. Cause I don't believe in a man earning the girl. Dating in my opinion should come from both parties it shouldn't be one sided.

  • Yeah that's what it is, we are more confident and OverThinker when it comes to girls so yeh If you kissed he is completely into you and taking you to be his for granted

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  • Congratulations! You just wrote the most out of reality thing I have ever read here.
    He will never try to "earn" you... Thats why he has so many options in the first place, to never chase a girl again.
    However, certainly most girls she hook up with may think like you and play difficult I would say 90%, its nothing new what you are doing here...
    If you go the other way and start to develop a strong partnerhood with him, things are more likely to work out for you... Just like you, every women is dying on fear of him rejecting her, you are not bringing a new thing to the table here...
    Do the opposite go talk to him, and show your value as a person, he is not from another world goddamit.

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  • If you kissed on the first date, you messed up a little.
    If he goes through a lot of girls, I'd avoid him if I were you... That's a red flag. There's no way to know if he's interested in you or just your lips, no matter what he says, so although you could risk it you should provably friendzone him.
    If he kissed you, then he probably thinks he "got you" if he's only going for a kiss. If he's going for more, he's probably not done but probably doesn't see you as a person.

    I don't like how some guys are just after the adventure... it's impersonal.

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  • Earn you? You're not a trophy, you're a human being, and your life partner should be based on compatibility.

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  • Easy, don't sleep with him until you get the real deal from him.

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  • Yup...

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  • If you see him as a player, why do you want him

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