What do I do when I'm in a toxic relationship with my boss... ?

And I don't mean like my boss is an ass. I mean, I'm sleeping with him on a regular, friends with benefits relationship level.
Before you think too little of me, we were together before he was my boss and, I being the impulsive naive young woman that I am, decided "what could possibly go wrong?"
Well, now I'm stuck. I'm terrified that if I leave him I'll lose my job.
I'm terrified to leave him bc, well, I fell in love with him.
And I also hate him bc he lusts after my sister and every single blonde that walks into the room. But if I stop much as glance at another guy he freaks out on me, gets jealous, and all pouty. And then turns around and calls me childish and immature.
Honestly, when we're good, we're great. The sex is mind blowing, we have so much fun, and he makes me laugh so hard I cry.
But when we're bad, it's hell. I hate him. I'm miserable. He's mean and cruel and makes disgusting comments about my sister. Double standards, lies, and just plain old cruelty. And then tells me I'm the mean one for getting upset and giving him the cold shoulder.
My coworker/best friend/work mom thinks that he uses my sister as a way to hurt me if he feels that I hurt him.
But despite all of this, I still can't leave him. I still love him.
I'm at a loss. What on earth am I supposed to do?
Please any and all answers are appreciated.


Most Helpful Guy

  • Well if you can't leave him, then all you can do is suffer, isn't it? And since you love him, it's not like you'll ever do anything malicious to him intentionally that would make him leave you either. So suffer is all you will do.

    • I don't think she's uncapable of doing something bad. No one is. Making him leave her is not the right thing.

    • Show All
    • All true, and I wish I knew his side and how he really sees all of this. Bc who knows, maybe he genuinely does see himself as a victim of some sort. He's had bad relationships in the past and maybe that had kind of skewed his perspective. I just don't know.

    • Don't you go and start feeling sorry now. That's not why you should be with someone

Most Helpful Girl

  • Wow!
    First, if you have feelings, you are no longer friends with benefits.
    Second, I know you said you can't leave but you have to. Cut ties. This guy sounds like a sociopath. Its only going to get worse the more he knows you and can manipulate you.
    Is he the owner of the company? Are there rules in the employee handbook about coworker relationships.
    If he isn't the company owner, go to HR and let them know your situation and let them know you want it to end. That way when you tell him, you are already covered in case he tries to fire you.


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What Guys Said 4

  • You said love to a person you said is friends with benefits from the get go though it's super risky and my opinion stupid to sleep with someone you work for they have too much power to effect your life directly before even talking about how crazy this guys sounds

  • This is going for broke here, but maybe you could go over his head as a last resort if something happens.

  • Only reading your side of the story, i guess you should talk to him about it, amd tell him how you feel. Don't get upset while telling him, but at the same time don't hide yoir emotions from him. Meaning don't choose a heated moment to open up, but choose a calm, relaxed moment. That's much harder, but worth it. You need to know that this can lead to him leaving you, and you mist be sure that you can live with that. Your job is not a reason to stay with him. You can get a new one.
    Curious to hear his side of the story though, but that won't happen, so remember to be very fucking honest. Especially with yourself

  • You should get married


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