What will the guy think?

What would you think if the girl says after the first date 'sorry i'm not ready for a relationship it's not because of you it's because of me' ?

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  • I'd appreciate that she knew herself well enough to know that a relationship would be a bad idea. There are ways in which it would make me respect her more. I know the general perspective and feeling that a lot of guys have however is "she doesn't want a relationship... with me" and even if you say "not because of you it's because of me," they usually just think you're bullshitting them and are trying to avoid hurting their feelings... usually it's worse if you wait until after the first date because it shows that you're interested in a relationship no matter what you may say later. Dating implies desire for a relationship to most guys. If you're gonna tell a guy you aren't ready for a relationship... don't date him in the first place, or at the very least don't let him call it a date. No reason you can't be friends or hang out but if you date him and THEN tell him you aren't ready for a relationship... that's just not a good approach. Tell him before hand if you want it to go well, and even that has risks. Either way there's a chance of offending.

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    THIS IS NOT RELEVANT ANYMORE
    • i didn't know that i would end up feeling like this, i was so sure that i liked him but when i saw him i just didn't feel the spark i dont know i feel so bad because i was also hoping to end up good with him but we ended up saying bye on chat i hope that it didn't make him super sad or think bad about himself

    • Okay... let em just say you're thinking about this all wrong. The spark isn't good enough. It's almost never a good thing to have the spark immediately. If you focus on having that spark you will ignore or down play all your partner's flaws. If you're interested in a relationship learn what you want and don't want from a person BEFORE you go looking for love or you WILL regret it.

      PLEASE look up the psycological effects of infatuation/falling in love before looking for a relationship =/ I don't mean to say that either one is bad, but they don't last. They are great and wonderful things in their own time but you can't afford to base relationships off of them or refuse to consider a relationship because you don't feel them. That sort of thing just won't end well. You seem like a super sweet person so please please please look into this before you do something that will get you hurt? =/

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What Guys Said 10

  • I would hope she's not fibbing, but I would also assume she's not into me and she's just trying to let me down nicely.

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    • he replied ' ok if thats what you want, then there is no reason for us to talk anymore right?' i said: yes it's for the best then he said 'ok then it was nice to meet you, bye' and i said bye 😒 i felt so bad

    • It's always hard when things like that don't work out. I'm sure he liked you and had some hopes for the future (that's just human nature), but if it doesn't work, it doesn't work. Better it happen that way than one or both of you pretend and it hurt far more later.

  • If it was the first date then don't overthink this, don't feel like you owe him something.
    You just found out that things aren't working for you.
    Be honest about it and lay it down as easy as possible.

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    • but i talked for a long time with him on phone thats why i really feel bad 😢

    • Its natural to feel bad, I won't say that you shouldn't.
      But you need to lookout for yourself.

  • Damm it, why... Better play it off I'll just swollow my heart break and say the same back, at least that's what I say but I had an infiority complex so I've kinda decided not to be "weak" anymore so I'm a little weird

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    • he replied ' ok if thats what you want, then there is no reason for us to talk anymore right?' i said: yes it's for the best then he said 'ok then it was nice to meet you, bye' and i said bye :(

  • Too soon for any relationship talk for or against after just one date.

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  • I would definitely think its because of me because im insecure

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  • Better early than late so go for it

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  • Exactly what you said

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  • It sounds very cliché

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    • he was too fast on our first date he acted like we were a couple for years thats why i didn't feel ready yet..

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    • i said that because i didn't want him to feel bad about hisself

    • It'll just annoy him most likely.

  • It hurts

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  • U found me to be ugly and fat and old and and and lol..

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