Guys, Am I wasting my time?

I had a friend with benefits that I hadn't talked to for a year contact me out of nowhere. He told me he wasn't the relationship type and i was getting too attached so I cut him off. He was also an asshole about a few things that really upset me.

He recently contacted me via social media to say hi and reconnect. I was surprised. He told me he had a girlfriend for 6 months and she had deleted contacts from his phone.

My first thought was oh, I thought you weren't the relationship type. A male friend told me that means he just didn't want a relationship with me.

He's invited me out a few times. We went out over the weekend and of course he tried to have sex with me and I shut him down. Later, I sent him a message asking why he never considered legitimaely dating me before, and he said at that time he wasn't looking to date.

So I asked if he would consider it now, because I'm not doing the friends with benefits thing. He responded that he's open to the idea of dating but he has to get his head right (whatever that means).

Guys help me decipher. Waste of time?

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What Guys Said 3

  • Whats he's saying is he still doesn't what to date but wants the benefits, and every time you've mentioned it he denies it and says he not ready or has to sort his life out. but as soon as you give him the benefits he's over in a flash and doesn't care about how you feel

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    • well I told him that's not happening, so I guess he will disappear or just keep trying to lure me into a booty call. not holding my breath he'll come around, but "open to the idea of dating" made me somewhat hopeful. ah well.

  • Wait at least three months before sleeping with him, and you will know.

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    • Not sure what to make of his message. Being open to dating sounds positive, but he has to get his head right sounds like I'm still not ready to date.

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    • I don't know, being open to the of dating doesn't sound like a firm yes he's ready

    • He's simply being gay.

  • Waste of time.

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    • thanks for your response. why do you say waste of time?

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    • he was trying to pick up things where they left off I suppose. which is why I made it clear that I didn't want to go down that road again. am I naive to hope that things could be different now? he said he was open to the idea of dating

    • That's not how people work. At least it isn't how they should work. We're not some videogame where you can just save and quit and then load your previous progress when you feel like playing again. He walked away, and that's that. If he regrets his error then tough shit, he shoulda thought harder.

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