Guys, is flirting o tinder cheating? does he really love me or does he love the idea of being in love?

we are both 19 and this is my first relationship. I've grown up around unhealthy relationships and he knew that which is why i had never previously had one until i knew i was ready.

1 month into our relationship: i had found texts with a girl inviting her to his hotel (where he was living at the time) saying to come drink and that he really wanted her to come. i confronted him about this and he said she had slept around with his whole baseball team and that he invited her for his teammates friends that were visiting because his friend couldn't doit himself because his girlfriend was there. he said he never did anything with her.

2 month: i found nudes on snapchat messages frame girl i convinced myself he was just friends with. there was also a snapchat message to another girls story of her in a bikini looking at the ocean where he replied "come over." i obviously broke up with him and kicked him out of my place. he eventually told me he didn't realize how much i meant to him before and he wasn't ready to settle down but now he realized he doesn't want to lose me and hell give all that up. we got together and talked and ultimately got back together. he blocked girls he needed to and deleted tinder and gave me all his social media logins just to make me feel comfortable.

4 months: i randomly logged onto his tinder act and saw he had recently been messaging/complimenting girls and even talking to ones in his town he'd already had sex with saying how he already "hit that." i called him breaking up with him and he said it was his friend practicing his "game" and eventually told me the truth about how him and his friends use it as a "drinking game" and if you get shut down you chug, if thats the truth or not i don't know. I tried breaking up with him and he cried and told me he didn't know he couldn't do that and doesn't consider any on the non-physical cheating he has done to be cheating at all.


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What Guys Said 3

  • All of these things you have discribed are cheating... He has had multiple chances and clearly just isn't ready for a relationship and has no regard for your feelings.

    If he's capable of cheating once yet alone 3 times (that you know of) there is nothing from stopping him from doing it again.
    He clearly has some issues that he needs to deal with.

  • kick this low life into touch, you are in the supposed honey moon period of a relationship why would he want to even talk to anyone else. when i first met my wife that was it all dating sites were kicked into touch and all i want to do was spend time with her. there is a mr right for you out there and the longer you are wasting your time with guys like this you will not find mr right and he may even find someone else. so go and find your mr right and dont settle for second best.

  • Break up and stop giving him more chances. Girl you keep getting hurt by this guy. It's not worth it. Find a guy who cares for you, someone that doesn't hurt you on a regular basis.


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