How can I tell if my boyfriend is a player?

I noticed he always stares at girls, although he does it more subtlety now. He also has a lot of female friends and he's really handsome to me. I can kinda feel it when he has attraction towards other girls. He says he's never cheated because he's been cheated on and it hurts.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Really handsome that's the #1 clue

    Now you need to know if he is using any men care products or not. If he smell exceptional then clue #2

    Then you look at his overall clothes. If he has a style then that's clue #3. Exceptions are working outfit, dress for work and other things that requires him to dress in a specific way.

    Those are signs he is propping himself up for the opposite sex. The less a guy care about his looks the less he cares about attracting the ladies.

    Maybe some people just do it as a lifestyle but just look at yourself and think about it. You don't dress provocatively unless you want to attract attention. The same thing for the guy.

    That doesn't mean he will cheat but he does take a lot of pleasure from attracting people.

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    • Yeah he fits all three categories.

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    • Maybe it does but at least with someone attractive you know they chose you rather than being forced with you.

    • @TacosRAwesome

      That doesn't stop them from choosing another person. I don't think it has anything to do with attractive or not.

      It boils down to probabilities. A social animal will have a lot of contacts with other people. A fling there, a tease here and sparks start flying. One night stand. Nobody gotta know. A quickie and your wife won't find out.

      A socially inept, track suit wearing guy isn't going to attract that much attention. He would sit in a corner and watch if he could be bothered with social gathering.

      So the question is: a player or not a player?

Most Helpful Girl

  • It's best to nip these feelings of jealousy in the bud, because they will only grow more and more into insecurity. You have to trust him 100% unless you legit find out he cheated or is cheating, jealousy is like cancer it grows until it kills the relationship. He will either cheat or he won't, but you being worried won't change that outcome either way. The worst that can happen is if he does dump his ass he doesn't deserve you, but if he's being accused of something like this without fact then it may push him away.

    You both should be freely able to check out other people, it's not like there is only one attractive person in the world. As far as him having other friends who are girls, why don't you be friends with them too, they may be really cool girls and you might gain a new bestie!

    I truly think it's important for relationships to last to be filled with healthy emotions and feelings as well as maintaining your identity. Good luck!

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    • All truth. It become a self-fulfilling prophecy. The more you push the idea he is sleeping around, especially if you actually accuse him of it, the more likely he will just act on it. Which would be he declaration of freedom from your relationship as he has stated, he won't cheat.

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What Guys Said 20

  • Even guys that don't cheat on their girlfriends look at other women all the time and often fantasize about being with them. Most don't act on it. He's just being a typical male. Being a player entails acting on the attraction, which doesn't sound like it's happening here. He's with you, so you're doing something right.

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  • Staring at girls, having female friends doesn't equal being a player.

    He's a player if he literally cheats on you. What your definition of 'cheating' is is up to you. But for me it will be having the intention of becoming sexual with another person. Be that through flirting, touching, kissing, sex whatever.

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  • 1. A boy should be allowed to look at other girls. He can still talk to other girls and look at then but still be loyal.

    2. A boy is allows to have female friends.

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    • 1000 Internet points to you, my friend.

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    • @AnatolianRockman Yeah, I know I made it lol

  • It sounds like you are very insecure about your relationship. Looking at other girls means he is a guy, nothing else. Lots of female friends... yeah... and? If that is all you are basing it on it seems pretty empty to me.

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  • You can't stop him from looking at other girls, nor should you try. You're trying to be controlling, and you wouldn't stand for it if it was the other way around, would you? You may have to ask yourself why you think doing so makes him a "player." I'm not sure you really know what that entails, maybe.

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    • The downvotes are amusing, but pointless. Denying the obvious truth of what I said ^ with fake Internet points doesn't change reality, or peoples' mindsets. Don't ask a question if you don't want an actual answer.

  • " I noticed he always stares at girls " ----> Not Really.
    " He also has a lot of female friends" ---> A Little Suspicious !

    Only time will tell... Your info is not enough !

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  • You have to ask him:

    If he says "no" then you know the answer;

    If you don't believe him then you probably shouldn't think of him as your boyfriend.

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  • It's in boys nature to look after other girls if they are dressed attractively, that's how we are. It doesn't mean he is cheating on you, you are only a little bit jealous and not 100% confident on yourself. For me, I also have friends who are girls and they understand me better than my friends who are boys, it can differ. Girls can be such a good friends for men, they are listening to you and they can give you good advices. One clue to notice when he is flirting or talking with other girls is that you don't have so much attention from him (like you use to have in past) and he is not showing you love (like he did in the past).

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  • Shit that's me, lmao

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  • Forgive the assumption, however it does seem the issue is not so much the fact he may be a player. It does have a feel that you feel inadequate in his life.. Little test.. Next time you see him.. Let him know how much he means to you and how you appreciate his love and loyalty. And then wait it out.. If his actions change.. He has realized his actions do not line up with that statement (and he cares enough to change) if actions do not change.. Is not a thing he seees as serious issue (explain.. calmly.. how you feel.. Not blame fest.. Just honest dialouge) it works!

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  • Play him into letting him play you... and voila

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  • He cheats on you that's how.

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  • I would need more information.

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  • If he disappears

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  • Defensive if the topic comes up

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  • test him..

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  • Not enough info for a satisfactory answer

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  • I tell girls I'm a player.

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  • Pick his phone and see if he nimbles!

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  • You really can't tell if he is patient but in general he will try to rush the sex, talk to you a lot then all of a sudden stop completely then comeback basically binge talk (not being consistent) and if he's smooth but being smooth doesn't always mean that maybe he just charming in general

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What Girls Said 5

  • Well u can tell by this :
    He stares at girls
    He lies to u
    He flirts with girls
    He doesn't actually love u
    He is being with another girl
    He can talk to a girl on the phone weather text pics sociAL media or and call
    He goes out with another girl like going to the moviesvetc
    He called u names
    He doesn't always answer u

    It honestly does sound like he is cheating on u

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  • I would not be concerned about it right now.
    I explained to a friend the other day that said she felt upset that she checked out another guy. You are human! It happens. If he does not plan on acting on it, it really is not a big deal. It is okay to be attracted to people. He choose you so he's committed to you
    I also wound not worry about female friends. I always say that if a guy wanted to date his female friends he would date them. But he isn't, he's dating you!

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  • I think you need to calm down, take a breath and think about the fact that you don’t seem to trust your boyfriend whike have really no reason to not trust your boyfriend.

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  • It could be innocent. Looking does not necessarily imply cheating.

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  • Both men and women will look at attractive things, it is from human nature. We're visual creatures, after all. Of course he will look at other girls, he's got eyes! He's not blind! Just the same way you have eyes and you surely must look at attractive guys when you pass them by. What you must have in mind is "It is me he picked, it is with me he chose to be me, it is me he chose to be his girlfriend". Be more confident on yourself. No one likes to be with someone who is always insecure and afraid of loosing its partner.

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