No girls I like, like me back. What's wrong with me?

So I'm not the best looking guy in the world, but I make an effort to dress well, smell nice and I work out fairly often. I don't think I'm ugly but I am short (only 5'5"). I don't let it get me down and I make and laugh at jokes about my height.

I'm not funny by any means, in fact I make really cringeworthy puns. I'm not an awful person but I'm not super nice and I'll make fun of people for the stupid things they do.

I am not looking for a hookup (heck I'm still a virgin at 25), my friends give me shit for it, but it's not that I'm not interested in sex, I just haven't found someone whom I've wanted to have sex with. I definitely need to get to know them beforehand.

I've only ever had one girlfriend, and we didn't break up on bad terms. I also seem to have more female friends than most of my guy friends do.

I don't take initiative in relationships very often (I probably won't end up going in for a kiss at the end of a date). That being said, I haven't kissed a girl either (No, not even my ex-girlfriend).

In all but one case, the girls I've asked out have rejected me. I've had no luck with Tinder, Bumble, etc. either.

I have a well paying career and am well educated and we'll spoken, especially for an immigrant in the United States.

Now that I've listed out all my flaws, can someone tell me what they think my problem is? Why don't the girls whom I like, like me back?


Most Helpful Girl

  • First - you sound like a great guy.

    Second - while it’s great you don’t want to force yourself on women (women everywhere love that), taking a little initiative is sexy as hell. You don’t have to force a kiss, or anything else, but women give pretty clear nonverbal clues they want to be kissed. Licking lips, dilated pupils, looking at you expectantly, moving their head closer to you, etc.

    Not even trying sends out the “I don’t find you attractive” signal. And few women are going to say “are you going to kiss me or what”. Unless you find a Dom, in which case you’ll be all set.


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What Girls Said 5

  • You’re too shy, or too passive, or too quiet, or too introverted, or socially awkward, or anxious, or a combination of all of those

    • Anxious and passive but is that a bad thing? Why is it a bad thing?

    • It makes it harder for you to meet people and flirt. And frankly most women aren’t aggressive enough to get a passive man.

  • Well, since you have aknowledged your flaws, thy to fix them perhaps? One of the biggest turnoffs for me is if a guy makes fun of others. Shows you have self esteem issues.

  • Hi. I don't think the things you mentioned are flaws.

    Based on what you wrote, perhaps the girls you've asked out don't see a kind of depth in your personality. Not that its about being mysterious, but its that unexpected side of a person that makes them interesting, makes people want to know them. Like a really quiet guy that's an awesome lead guitarist, or the next-door girl who loves drag races.

    Sometimes its that contrast in who we are that draws people in, make people think "there's something more to this guy and I want to find out."

    Something like that, hope it helps.

  • maybe it's because of your personality, or maybe u jut have not found the one

  • In all honesty, I would say you haven't found someone compatible with your personality yet. The way you describe things, make that clear to me at least. If you want to increase your chances of getting into a real relationship, I'd say at least try to be a bit more forward when you're dating someone. I don't know for how long you and your ex girlfriend have been together, but if you haven't even ever kissed her, to most girls it would probably seem like a lack of interest

    • We dated for about a year. And I told her up front, that I wouldn't go in for the first kiss until she told me that she was ready for it.
      I think that understanding is important.

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