Does the no contact rule really work?

Although I hate these rules. Love should not be so complicated. But does the no contact rule affect guys. For example if a girl fights with a guy and then doesn’t contact him, will he want to contact her first? Or will he be waiting like a challenge and then give up? Or when she messages him first he will feel like he won?

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Haha those rules are a hot & miss almost like anything else in life... and if there’s one thing worthy no clear set of rules... it’s love.

    I’ve had a few ex’s where the no contact rule worked once or twice.

    And I’ve had an ex where she went no contact waiting on me to give in lol. We met later in life, and found out each other went no contact.

    The point is you’re gonna be the best judge on what approach to take in your situation. Yes, the dude will definitely feel superior in having the female contact lol, and yes it takes swallowing a bit of pride, to contact... but sometimes it works out for the best. :)

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Love isn't complicated. People make it complicated. These rules are complete bullshit.
    I could never go no contact with my man after a fight. I would naturally want to fix it. We're both mature enough to talk about what's going on.
    If I want to talk to my man I will I could care less about what some rules tell me I should do. Girls shouldn't text first, fuck that. I want to talk to him I will text first. Lol

    Same with him if you want to talk to him then just talk to him. Be honest with yourself. If you go too long without talking to him he might take it as lack of interest and move on.
    It really doesn't matter who contacts who after a fight. If you're wrong apologize and he'll either accept it and move on or he won't and vice versa.
    It doesn't matter who wins after a fight, all that matters is you still have a relationship after one. No need to take score.

    Communication is key.

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What Guys Said 18

  • If you have a fight, resolve it as quickly as possible. If you let feelings stew, you can get resentful. If you think you cannot have a reasonable conversation and fix the problem at that time, walk away (calmly) and try again when you have cooled down.

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  • Forget these idiotic rules. They are made up by people who are socially incompetent. And you shouldn't be worrying about who "wins" an argument. You should both be working to find an agreeable solution. If you can't do that how could you ever make a long-term partnership work?

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  • You"re treating love like a competition.
    Thats a sure fire way to ruin it.

    Love requires scarifice.

    You're after who gets the upper hand. You may be a fighter but he's a male. Designed to do whatever it takes to gain the upper edge. he won't take your punches lying down.

    I know this beacause an ex was always pressuring me to catch up to her career success. It dosent work.

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  • "No contact" rule is to be used after a break up, to help you get over someone.

    It's not for getting someone back or playing games.

    You break up, you cant' get over them, so you go No Contact.

    That's what the NC rule is for.

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  • Exactly what you said.. love should not be that complicated.. and also, there is no place for ego in a relationship... that just makes things worse.. you should be ready to say sorry even if it's not your fault.. thats the backbone of a long loving relationship

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  • It depends on what kind of relationship you have actually i have some people from which if I don't hear for a long time I just forget them and some are like that I just have to message first can't really wait for her to message

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  • I may want to, but I won't. Oh, you don't want to contact me? I'm going to make you own that.

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  • That depends if I loved her I wouldn't let pride stand in the way of messaging her then again if we argued and she said don't message me would most likely move on to be honest

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    • Plus if you love the person you are talking about as you said it why would them feeling like they won matter if you having a life with them us at stake

  • As anything, it depends on the person. There's no rule set in stone that says anything about that rule.

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  • No contact rule as far as I know is to get over someone after a breakup. It does and doesn't work. You don't forget the person, occasionally still reminisc and miss them even, but it does make it more livable than having contact.

    But overall, if you're doing no contact to elicit a reaction from somebody, it can work and it can backfire. But usually it'll backfire. If the other person simply cares less, this probably will not make them care more, there is very little you can do to 'make" someone care in that way.
    Games don't get you far in these things, and that is a form of game. It will just suck up your mental and emotional energy and frustrate and hurt you when it finally flops. You're better off being very upfront and moving on if it is clear the other isn't on the same page as you.

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  • This is the silent treatment no matter how you try to color it up and it's never an acceptable resort

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  • It's not even a thing after high school. It's just a childish game.

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  • That just feels like a lot of games. No games. Be straight up with him. Do what you feel is right.

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  • Not sure but don't conform to rules. Just do what pleases you most.

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  • Not all of the time it's a risk

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  • Never heard of that "rule"

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  • Nope

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  • It’s not a game, that’s your problem.

    You’ve irked him and he doesn’t feel like trying to talk to you. He might consider it from time to time but every time he thinks about he’s reminded of the issue so decides he’d rather not. Then if you text it can often be much easy to find the will to reply than it is to initiate.

    The making it a “rule” or something to “win” is where you messed up.

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What Girls Said 3

  • Don't play games if you want an actual honest relationship. Only use the no contact thing if you actually feel like something was so bad that you don't want them in your life anymore, and you're ok with losing them.
    If you use it for every silly little fight, it will make you seem overdramatic and he will lose interest after a while. If he's someone who cares about you, it will really hurt him and you shouldn't purposefully hurt the feelings of someone you like, that's manipulative.

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  • Love is not complicated. If a guy/girl left you, dumped you, broke up with you, say goodbye to you etc then it is on them plain and simple, to come back to you IF they wanted to.

    The person who initiates the breakup is the one who the burden falls on to to contact the person they just left.

    If this person truly wants you back in their life, they will come back.

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  • I would imagine it comes down to who was in the wrong. Who acknowledges it and who is the bigger person.

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