Should I leave him or stay with him?

I truly love and care for this guy ever since I met him in 2014 and he chose to get vasectomy done last month and I didn’t realize that he actually went ahead. What should I do? :( I’ve been crying since last night continue on today 😢😢

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Most Helpful Guy

  • In a couple people discuss things that consider the couple. Vasectomy is definitely one of these. If he went behind your back there's not much room for anything else then 'moving on with life'. It's his choice not to want more kids, that's fine by itself, what's not fine is that he made that decision without letting you know beforehand. If having kids is something important for you, and he does not want them with you you should stop wasting time and energy with him. Don't go for half-half solutions like staying with him and go for a sperm donor, seems to be a pandora's box of weird feelings, also for him.

    Move on. Make sure you discuss early in the relationship about your childwish and make sure that your next partner is not too afraid of that. No need to jump the gun, but just to make sure that he's in it for the long run, at 25 you still have some leeway.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • If you want to be with him long term and having kids is a deal breaker for you then I believe you should leave him. In the end a strong desire to have kids when you can't will only lead to resentment in the long term.

    Is there any reason he went ahead without telling you?

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    • Well, he told me that he doesn’t desire to have another kids since he already have the daughter because of the financial stability

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 4

  • If you want kids then yes you need to. I would imagine he talked about and you just didn't think he actually went to do it. So you knew he was thinking about it. But I think you should end it so it's not a waste of anyone's time.

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  • If having children is something you really want, you probably should part ways. The fact that your boyfriend went to radical lengths to prevent himself from fathering children (give or take 6 months to a year) suggest there is no room for negotiating.
    Having a vasectomy is more about not wanting children at all than not wanting children with you.
    There's no point arguing with him or lecturing him on his decision - reproductive rights for men are just as important as those of women.

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  • If you want kids yes leave him. He sounds inconsiderate. Rip the Band-Aid off sooner than later and find someone who wants to have a family with you

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  • Well if u want babies then leave him js i have a balls full of cum

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What Girls Said 2

  • I would talk to him about it, tell him you really wanted kids and didn't approve of him doing that without asking you. If kids is something you really truly want, maybe he isn't the one for you. Since he got that done it means he doesn't like them or want them

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  • If you definitely want children in the future then he's clearly not the right person for you. You're better off just leaving and starting the moving on process.

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