Does Weight matter that much?

I can't help but wanna ask. How much does weight matter to a guy.
I'm about 198 pounds (But also 5ft7/5ft8). I realize I am overweight, but live a relatively healthy life, but due to some poor life choices in the past I have to take meds that influence my weight a lot.
I never really approached guys due to this. Or never as more than anything as friends.
The idea of signing up to a dating site or anything seems insane too because of my weight.
I feel like my weight automatically puts me outside of the 'dateable' zone and will never flirt or let people know i like a guy because I immediately feel out of their league.
Obviously my experience kind of lines up with this but sometimes I wonder if this isn't just self fulfilling prophecy...

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Most Helpful Guy

  • 100% a self fulfilling prophecy, you think "I can't attract a guy" so you don't try, so you don't attract a guy and it reinforces the thought that you can't.

    Now as for how important weight is, it depends on the guy. For me, it's quite important, because I live a healthy lifestyle, I avoid all processed sugar (I haven't had a fizzy drink/a soda in over a year, I don't eat chocolate etc). I workout for at least an hour every day and I stay as active as I can. So I personally couldn't have a girlfriend that was overweight because it would imply our goal/needs aren't aligned.

    That being said, if you don't like your body, you can always change, just require some research and a bit of will power :) but no matter what, be happy and confident in who you are and I'm sure a guy will love you for who you are

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    • I'm afraid it's not that simple. I work closely with doctors and Nutritionist in my hospital due to my health issues and everything i eat and drink is quite regulated, and monitored. Alcohol, soda, sugar are not a part of my diet, neither is gluten or milk products.
      But thank you for your kind words

    • Yeah it's hard but that doesn't mean you should give up. Everything in life worth having is hard, good health included. For some people it's easier and for some it's harder, there's no need to dwell on that fact, there's nothing we can do to change it so we might as well just get on with it and do our best

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What Guys Said 4

  • It's a little bit of both. You feel that there's nothing you can do so you don't lose any weight, and you also think no one could possibly like you, which keeps you from putting in the extra hard work to fix it, making your fear a reality.

    The fact is weight does matter when you're talking about romance. Guys are more visual than girls and if he's not physically attracted to you, than he's not going to go out with you. You could be an amazing friend, but unless there's that something more it's never going to be more than that. And if he dated you despite not being attracted to you, you'd still know that he doesn't and it would reinforce that feeling of hopelessness that's keeping you from losing weight in the first place. Not only that your sex life would probably suffer greatly. It may seem romantic for a guy to love you anyway, but think of the consequences of him not being attracted to you.

    What you need is a reason to lose weight for yourself. If you base it solely on how others will treat you, you're just going to stare into the abyss again and fall back into hopelessness. You need to think about your health, your energy and your mood. Because those will benefit from your work no matter what, regardless of anyone else taking notice of you. If you aim for the actual results of weight-loss as opposed to the byproducts, you will see the rewards in front of you.

    You'll have more energy, you'll be in a better mood, you'll be way healthier. Make that the reason to lose weight, and being attractive to guys will be the side-effect. Guys aren't going to start approaching you just because you lost 10 pounds. But you'll feel it in your body.

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    • As i stated above my overweight has nothing to do with my life style rather than being heavily medicated for the past couple of years and still am. It's messing with my metabolism a lot. I already explained below that everything I eat and drink is closely monitored and determined by a medical team. My weight is a byproduct of a more complicated medical situation (which i don't feel comfortable sharing on the internet) and for now it seems like a situation i will be in for a while. I understand the weight loss comments are meant kindly but it is not applicable to my current position

    • Well then the most you can do is learn to be content with it until you're better. Confidence is going to be a big factor, and right now you're really pessimistic on the whole thing. You need to get to a point where you can just accept your entire situation and say "well this sucks! Oh well!" When you realize you have nothing to lose, you'll be much more confident. Speaking from experience on that one

  • If you say that you are heathy and it is true then that is not a problem.

    Weight is just a number unles you are sloby. You can be overweight and toned. But if it overflows everywhere your pool of choices is smaller.

    PS : tall a strong. Try making the first move. Guys have tall strong women tied to dominant.

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  • No. It is all based on your body build. More muscle or more fat.
    As a bodybuilder your BMI could be stating you are overweight but you are actually on a good weight. Because you trained muscle and have extra muscle weight.

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  • It doesn't matter that much. It is only your apperance. You should be thinking more about health ^^. I' dated people who had over weigth because i liked THEM the person not the body.

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