How do I get my boyfriend from working so much?

My boyfriend has been working up to 88 hours a week trying to get this promotion. He's pretty close to getting it however now his constant time at work is now putting a dent into our relationship. I haven't really talked or seen him in over a week now cause he's been so busy. I'm proud of him for his work ethic but I just want to spend time with him. And I know he's at work cause when I do call him I hear his work place. So I don't know, I'm about to pick up another job so I can keep busy while he is working cause I'm tired of sitting around on my off time
I guess I worded this wrong, I do hang out with friends and I do work myself. I understand he's making money but I guess my thing is. Money isn't everything? I've been hanging out with our mutual friends without him cause he's been working so much. Last year he had a similar episode and worked a lot and took it out on me. He got that promotion and is now working on a new one. I'm not saying I need to be near him every day but seeing him or at least getting a call from him would be nice.


Most Helpful Guy

  • If he wants to get a promotion, then you should support him, and getting another job is a good idea too. The trick is making the times when you do meet (because they may start to be less frequent) really count. Make it the thing that you both look forward to, and your relationship will stay strong.

    • I support him and he knows I do. I tell him all the time but his work days are getting to be 15-17 hours long every day. Which isn't healthy. There's no time for us and even the last time we were together he still was on his phone doing work stuff. I ask him if he'd want to just hang out and watch a movie and he says no I'd rather sleep.

      I don't know I think it's cause I work 30-50 hours a week, help with the family business and now I'm going to interview for 2 more jobs and still make time for him that bothers me so much

    • Hmmm... Then you should talk to him about it. Be open, be honest, and tell him what you feel - he should understand.

Most Helpful Girl

  • Your entire existence should not depend on whether your boyfriend is around. You should have friends and be able to go do things while he is at work.
    Also, if he is working that hard to get a promotion, you being upset with him about the time he isn't giving you is selfish. You wouldn't want him to do that to you.

    • I mean it's not, my entire existence doesn't revolve around him. I'm perfectly fine without him being around. It's more so the fact I'd like some sort of communication. Also I work my friends work. I hang out with them sometimes but we're all adults and work.

      I guess it is kind of selfish but also it's kind of me worrying too. Cause he got a promotion last year around this time and for a straight month and a half he worked almost 100 hour weeks and burned himself out.
      Took it out on me

    • Show All
    • I realized I worded it wrong, I wish there was an edit button. No like I went out with our mutual friends last night even and we're all super concerned/annoyed.

      Like I don't know I want time too, just cause like I'm used to at least talking to him once a week and didn't really even get that for the last couple of weeks. And I've watched relationships crumble over that.

      I just don't want him to continue to work this 88 hour weeks cause he is gonna burn out and put it all on me - he doesn't mean to do that like most people don't but it happens.

      I almost wish they'd just give him it or tell him no he's not getting it lol

    • So, in the end, you have to ask yourself, is this how you want to spend the rest of your life?
      Only you can say when enough is enough
      Good luck

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What Guys Said 3

  • He all this do for you. No make your every wish fullfill. So you need to support him
    You make try a part time job in your free time or hang out with friends like me...

  • put up with it for now. he is doing it so he can support you in the fashion he thinks you deserve/desire and by the sounds of it is close to getting the promotion.

    • so let him know you miss him rather than stopping him from working towards promotions.

      also keep in mind that with promotions come pay rises, and with pay rises less hours needed to acheive the same income.

  • Who cares if there is no time for "Chilling with each other" ? He's making a sacrifice for both of u, Why would u want him to spend less time from work to be with u? c'mon now.


What Girls Said 2

  • As you said, he almost has his promotion. Let him enough time to get it and then he should start working a little less. Or tell him your concerns about working so much.

  • I hope after he gets this promotion his work hours go down to a normal range. Jesus. 88 hours? Like what's the point in making more money if you don't have time to enjoy it. How long does he have to work these crazy hours?
    I don't know talk to him about it. Suffer through this promotion since you said he is so close. But maybe talk about if a future opportunity comes up for a promotion that requires crazy hours, that you would prefer if he didn't take it. Just tell him how you feel.

    I guess it also depends why he's willing to work so hard. Is he working towards his dream job or something? If so you might have to just deal with it, or tell him you can't handle a relationship where you see your dentist more than you see him.


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