Am I doing something terrible?

When I date, it's usually 2-4 guys at a time because that's just how it works out. there's one guy that I progressed the most, but sometimes I'm unsure if he likes me. We've already slept together, gone to dinner, and always let's me know that I can crash at his place anytime. Is extremely affectionate. But I feel like if I text him too much, I'll come off clingy. And I want it to progress naturally. So in order to curb my texting desires, I end up texting the other guys that are interested in me.
We have not talked about exclusivity, nor do I plan on bringing it up either. It'll either happen or not. But I felt particularly bad the other day when we were watching tv, and he fell asleep on top of me and I got a text from another guy asking me on a date. I felt like I was almost cheating even thou I'm not, because I wouldn't do anything of the sort if we were exclusive. I didn't even feel that bad when I slept with my friend and went on a date with another person literally 10mins later b/c the restaurant was down the street.

0|0
115

Most Helpful Guy

  • Well nah i get it, Cuz see you want to give him so much love but you're afraid too. Wich is why you need to talk to him, bring it up, hé might be waiting for you to do so he's probably doing the same as you are. I can tell you i do just not to the same extent. I believe it is very whory (no offense) of you to lead other guys on. I would recomend you stop That and in turn be à bit flirtatious with other People instead, because receiving à text asking you on a date is basically begining of relationship status. This guy trusts you enough to sleep tight while you are with him, and you don't trust him because you don't trust you for what you do, stop That and talk guys can surprise you

    0|0
    0|0
    • You're probs right... in that I do need actually have a conversation. Also, if it makes you feel better, I usually cut it off when the other guys seems to be seriously interested or i least let them know I'm seeing other people. So from there it's up to them what they want to do.

    • Look you dont sound like à bad person, so i wouldn't say you're cheatin wich isn't the case and wouldn't say That you are bound to cheat, to me you just seem lost, i believe some time to yourself would be Well important, tell this to this guy That you like and see how he reacts. Hé might ask you to talk about in wich case you should. We shouldn't have to go through our dark paths alone... thats why the égyptiens have anubis :D chin up you'll be fine

Most Helpful Girl

  • Ask yourself these questions: how would I feel if I found out he was doing that to me? Do I see him in my future? Does he really value me for who I am or does he just cares about what I have to offer? Here's where you messed up, you slept with him with no commitment. Ever heard the saying, why buy the cow when you're already getting the milk? It's basically saying why do I have to commit if I'm already getting what I want. I never really grasped it until I actually started paying to what I was doing. I was sleeping with guys that honestly could care less about me. Trust me, when I'm interested in a guy, I could talk to him and be with him every day but then the thought of feeling clingy creeps in. When that happens, I back up and let him be the hunter that is supposed to be. Let him chase me but yet knows I'm still going to be there. If he has true interest in you then he will notice and probably even mention that slight change you made. So either back off a little bit to see what he does and then ask yourself another question, am I really ready to commit to one person?

    1|1
    0|0
    • I guess that's what I'm struggling with. If I found out he was seeing someone else, I actually wouldn't be that upset about it. Which is the strange part.
      I know what you're talking about, usually if I think someones relationship material, I won't sleep with them until after we make it official and what not.

      I'm usually somewhat cold when it comes to dating, but it's the first time I genuinely felt kind of bad.

    • I had a guy like that before but yet I already knew I wasn't going to date him and he felt the same way. Maybe you were like me, maybe you felt bad because he's actually a good guy but yet there's this wall that says we're not going to actually be together. Maybe you felt like me, saying what if we did? Would it just go wrong? The best thing you can do is to sit down and talk about the situation. I just had to do that myself.

Recommended Questions

Loading...

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 14

  • I'm sorry, but you will need to bring the "exclusivity" topic someday if you want to stop feeling bad... Just ask him what he thinks about it, and tell him that you would be okay with exclusivity if you knew that's the kind of relationship he wants?

    1|0
    0|0
  • In my opinion you must figure it out if this dude is committed to you long terms or not cause if he does in my opinion you should reconsider your thing & avoid talking to others, cuz cheating can only be defined if the relationship is seriousem even if it's serious only for him.
    Keep in mind if something makes you uncomfortable it means there's something wrong
    Peace ✌❤

    1|1
    0|0
  • This is normal, but it is also almost custom for the woman to bring up to be exclusive. So figure out what you want and tell him, no harm done.

    1|1
    0|0
  • I would be really hurt if someone did that to me. The fact that you are not telling any of them is proof that you know you are in the wrong irrelevant of agreeing exclusivity. Really shallow and selfish. I could never have anything to do with a person who acted this way. Even sounds like you are bragging.

    1|0
    0|1
    • Budy everyone dates multiple people at the same time, at least successful people. But at one point you switch to relationship and then you become exclusive

    • Show All
    • Cause everyone knows this is happening? This is how dating works buddy, you aren't exclusive before you actually have a relationship. And not everyone that has sex has std's dipstick, just practice safe sex.

    • Plus why post anonymously if its ok to do this? Clearly I have been triggered. Someone elae can have a go now 😊

  • Jesus woman, do these guys know about each other? If not then that sounds like a shitty as fuck thing to do. I couldn't imagine seeing multiple girls at a time. You sound like the female equivalent of a player.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Tell them all what's up, date all 4 of them. For real more people are open to it than you might expect and it works great for me

    0|0
    0|0
  • If I found out I would dump you immediately.
    Talking to friends is one thing, but this would be unacceptable.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Point blank u need to keep it benjamin thats 100 if u feel a type of way about your romeo then why give the 7 Seven Dwarfs any type of light

    0|1
    0|0
  • You are suffering from mental illness. I recommend professional therapy.

    0|2
    0|1
    • "But I feel like if I text him too much, I'll come off clingy. And I want it to progress naturally. So in order to curb my texting desires, I end up texting the other guys that are interested in me. "

      No sane person thinks that way. Ask yourself why you are trying to sabotage your relationship?

    • Like... No one likes to have conversation with the opposite sex?

      She's not trying to sabotage anything, she's starting to consider going serious with that guy and cutting back on her other flirty-relationships... She just doesn't know if her guy is ready to get serious and would find it too much too soon

  • Yes you do
    And ur just a whore

    0|2
    0|3
    • She's asking for counsel, not insults

    • Show All
    • Even if she felt bad about it
      It is not OKAY to do and she doesn't wants to bring up either and that is why i really feel bad For Him

    • @Asker According to my moral compass you're in the clear, but I'll concede to @Animeguy that you should probably talk about your wishes concerning exclusivity very soon if you want to go further with your new guy ^^

  • Show more from Guys
    4

What Girls Said 0

The only opinion from girls was selected the Most Helpful Opinion, but you can still contribute by sharing an opinion!

Recommended myTakes

Loading...