I tried to open my horizons a little or giving girls I wouldn't want to give a chance.. a chance, and I tried liking girls for their personalities. However, 90% of girls don't really want to show their true selves or personalities to me, all I got to do is be nice a little and ask questions about what they do and such, they pretty much give me this poor lame response of themselves & expect me to flirt or go quickly for sex with them based on their looks, but I mentally shut myself off just for looks. So I end up being their journal of their negative poor baggage while they find a new mate and then socially dump me into the abyss. 10% when they do show their personalities, they are usually nuts and very manipulative, I kept meeting ones that just like to show political, Sjw, super nazi Feminism, or some other crazy philosophies & just wanting to dominate me, I am like YO! I got to GO!
When I forget girls and focus on myself, I love myself I can do a lot of fun positive stuff and such, something I like to do with a girl that I can admire their beauty and love who they are without me mentally forcing myself to and some have normal days at least. However, it seems like what I attract or when I try to meet a new girl. My positivity and such just goes down.