Does my girlfriend think I'm too small or is she teasing me? Or is it because she's insecure about her weight?

She's quite overweight (5'4" and 160 lbs) although she's naturally curvy and carries it quite well- she's thicker framed than the average woman and her healthy weight is at around 135-145.

I'm 5'9" and 160 lbs. Quite average in build, my body fat is probably around 17-18%ish so slim-ish/average looking although I could lose a bit of weight and put on a bit more muscle.

She says that I'm cute, that I'm hot etc. a lot. But she'll call me "small" in a sort of "you're small and fluffy and cute" way too in the same breath which is weird. Maybe it's because we're the same weight and she doesn't like that. I'm not really used to being called small and I don't really know whether to take it well from her or not. Her ex was massive at 300lbs, average 5'11 in height (body builder), but I don't think she misses that because she complains that he used to hurt her accidentally and that she doesn't like being picked up and stuff. She says she likes tall guys but then again she thought her ex was 6'2 so I think at 2 inches less than him I'm tall enough for her. (And I know she fancies plenty of shorter men than me, so it doesn't really bother me).

The thing is that I have BDD, which she's aware of. So my body image is something that causes me mental health problems already. She doesn't know about the specific issues but she does make a habit of telling me that she does find me attractive and the things she likes about me, which I appreciate. She'll also make jokes- "I want to find a dom who's 7 ft tall with a 12 inch cock and a ferrari". It's obviously not serious but it trips me out a bit even if i don't show her that.

What I'm getting at is, is it my insecurity? Hers? Is she actually less attracted to me for my height or size? Or is she trying to test my confidence? (That's a mean thing to do considering I'm mentally ill but women can be like that with masculinity tests)

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  • I think your being insecure she is just joking. I do think the small is in reference of your height as 5'9 isn't considered tall. It's an average height and you seem to be the shortest person she has dated. I know your illness makes probably makes you insecure and she isn't helping at all in making those jokes. Hopefully you can tell her how you feel about them and she stops with the short jokes.

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    • I think it might be but she's already mentioned that she thinks I'm average height (I'm aware of that too). So I don't know if she finds my height particularly small. I think it's more likely my weight because she seems to have an inflated idea of what a healthy weight is for most people is tbh.

      I will tell her how I feel on the other hand it's hard not to swallow it sometimes because I feel like I'm being whiney

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