Single mother and dating?

Do you think being a single mother to 5 kids is a huge deal breaker? I'm beautiful, successful, young, and stable. It seems the guys I choose just want to play house and not be apart of that house even though their dads are active in their life. What can be suggested to find better men, men that are willing to stick around? I'm ready to settle down and this dating thing is getting old for me.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Honestly i would not be interested if the guy fathered 5 kids and didn't stay their is probably a reason any more than one kid and personally i wouldn't consider it. find a single dad would be my suggestion otherwise your just gonna find thirsty guys that can't get laid looking for attention

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    • Yea I think you may be right. What about an older man? One that is more responsible?

    • Or someone divorced that is tired of all the young woman games

Most Helpful Girl

  • Avoid the bad guys and you can have a great relationship with someone.
    More importantly, you don't need a guy to make you whole. Love yourself first and predator guys will run away because of your high esteem.

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What Guys Said 13

  • I imagine it'd be greatly intimidating for a new guy to be in that situation. Probably would be difficult to feel welcome in a family that's already so well-established. I would aim for guys who demonstrate their own stability from the start, and do whatever you feel is appropriate to make them feel welcome in your home and your life.

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  • No not a deal breaker a bit daunting but I guess the men you pick are all about the fun side unless your to demanding lol😉

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  • 5 kids? No, I dont think its a deal breaker but I think you should take a hard look at the type of men you choose to date. Look for more stable less party types.

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  • Not for me, I have six kids although only two are still young. Are you free tonight? I would certainly take the chance to get to know you simply based on what you said here.

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  • 5 kids is a bit much for a date to take on and a huge responsibility. I wouldn't date a woman with 2 kids, but I guess its an age and experience thing.

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  • It's a craps shoot. In addition to every other dating stressor, your fellas have to impress 5 kids in addition to you and, eventually, co-parenting comes into the picture. It's easy to pretend you don't need to talk about pregnancy, babies, and parenting with another non-parent. It's never far from mind with rug rats scuttling about. Your parenting styles have to mesh, or compromise, and he's at a disadvantage because he's late to the party. You & your kids already have rhythms & norms. It can be a lot to take. Internet dating will allow you to sneak daddy-to-be expectations into your profile. I'd say shop single dads, but then you're facing a Brady bunch reboot. Five is a lot, more is, just... damn!
    Fear not! There are some baby loving fellas out here. But it's gonna take time to find one that's not just awesome for you, but awesome for your kids too.

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  • wow raising 5 kids of different fathers. id rather shoot myself.

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  • Five is a bit much but I guess some guys would be willing. I might consider it only because my kids are grown.

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  • Your used goods. Not interested in you or your 5 sprogs

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    • Well you're a baby so I wouldn't have been interested in you regardless, but thanks:)


  • If you don't mind can you please tell... why you left your hasbnd?

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    • I do have a few different fathers to my children. They do great fathering and we all get along well. They have their good and their bad. I have seemed to attract abusive men that vary from mental to sexual abuse. I do go to weekly counseling now to understand myself better and to be more aware of the good and bad in men by niticing the signs. I am very cautious on who ain't bring around my children because they are young so they don't meet my kids until after dating for roughly 6 months to a year. My relationships usually last on average 3 years. I did have my tubes tied after my 4th child after realizing I didn't want anymore children and finding out her father was hiding the secret of being gay.. I started a relationship after she was 3 and got pregnant 6 months later. We are still somewhat together. I work and I am a director. He watches the kids at home. He just acts like he hates me and threatens to leave daily.

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    • Openion?

  • That would be a huge deal breaker for me. I doubt any decent guy would settle for you

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    • You're 18 though. I'm more interested in the opinions of men who are 30 plus since they have more life experience in dating. No offense. I couldn't imagine someone 18 dating a mother anyways.

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    • And I'm telling you that the guys on here barely have any experience, and I doubt you would be interested in a virgin's opinion which is what most guys on here are! And a 50 years old's opinion is irrelevant cause his mindset changed and is different from what it was when he was 30 years old. You should go to quora if you want answers from 30 plus year olds who have experience. If you want real opinions, then the internet is not the right place. You will have a bunch of lying trolls with different masks on covering up what they really are

    • Don't waste your time @Calix. What she means is she is not interested in anyones opinion who doesn't think a wrongun with 5 kids is every mans dreams. Lol everyone has told her nobody wants 5 kids that are not his own and she's complained that basically their opinion is wrong. The attitudes probs the reason none of the dads stuck around

  • Seek out other successful or professional men

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  • Not a deal breaker at all for me. You sound great and have a lot to give someone!

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    • Thank you:) That at least makes me feel somewhat like I'm not entirely helpless.

    • You shouldn’t feel helpless. I don’t know what’s all around you in terms of quality guys, but why not try online dating and put all that out there? If a guy is ok with everything he will def reach out to you. But you don’t have to try so hard and feel helpless. That’s too bad that’s happening to you. Don’t ever give up!

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