I am not attractive, have low self-esteem because of it. I have never been approached by a guy in 23 years of my life?

And now I have almost become emotionally closed off. I have even stopped having silly crushes. Its like my heart has created this strong impermeable layer around it and won't let anyone in. I don't feel worthy of male attention. I criticize everything about me. I am really shy and awkward in front of men. It almost sometimes comes off as rude I guess. Sometimes my confidence is so low that I avoid looking people in the eyes. I feel if I won't look in their eyes maybe they won't see how ugly I am. Pathetic.. I know. I don't wanna be like this anymore. What should I do?

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Most Helpful Guy

  • people always tell you that you just gotta wait till the right one comes around... sadly this is the worst bullshit i ever heard. you have to go get what you want. waiting will give you nothing.

    try approaching people. try to flirt. you can improve your situation. get to it.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • If i were you, i would get to know myself first and start forming my signature outlook.
    i would totally change the way i look like. Very important that your outlook should be something that you find beautiful. Try to look into mirror more often. Do not avoid reality.
    As soon as you change, you will notice that guys look at you more often, they try to flirt with you, they compliment you. This will really boost your confidence and you will actually believe even more that you look very beautiful.
    Try to improve your style and skills. Be quality inside and outside too. Never forget that outlook what catches guys' attention, and inside what will keep them interested in you.
    You will realize soon or later that you are that person who has the option to choose from million guys and not you are running after them. Your standards will jump.
    When you hit this point, you will be ready to meet with the one who is gonna be the best for you.
    Till that time be flirty, be sexy, feel good in your skin. Radiate positiveness.

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What Guys Said 4

  • I was like you, but you know, fron our point of view always the person next to us has better things, is more beautiful, is greater, etc. U think u are ugly but I assure you you are not, trust me. An example, there are many starts that are ugly, but they are still considered beautiful, why is that? Simple, psychology.
    If you think you are not worth it, u are ugly, or anything like that, you will be exactly that way.
    But if you act like if you were beautiful, like you are someone and not anyone, like you are able to handle anything, then you will be like that.
    Its all about mindset, plus, you will say "its so easy to say, but i care about what people think" its true, but as I said change ur mindset. The little hole in your dress that u look at all day long and have the impression that everyone noticed? Nobody did, and even if they did, they forgot about it 30 secs after that. What I mean is that what we think is noticeable and that everyone will notice, is in fact all the contrary, nobody cares and nobody will remember that, who will say "uhh that girl in the corridor 4 hours ago had a stain on her shoe" NOBODY. So, stop giving importance to little details and think that everybody will forget, and also that its not because that a boy didn't approached you that it means that you are worthless, maybe u were thinking like u are rn and scared them, which happened with me with girls, no one approached me and it was because of the way I acted. If u need any help im here

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  • Go out and talk to 100 men. just approach them say hi. I bet by the time you hit 100 you will realize things aren't nearly as bad as you think they are.

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  • Welcome to the lifestyle of just about everyone

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  • I'm sorry? I mean, what do you want me to do here, we don't even know what you look like?

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What Girls Said 4

  • Girl I completely feel you. Reading this I was reading my life story lol. Honestly though, you have to learn to grow comfortable in your own skin. Its not true that you're not attractive. You are BEAUTIFUL. Every single person is, unique in their own ways. God made you beautiful, media is a lie and always changes. Stop worrying about looking a certain way for people's eyes. Be YOU. Be confident and proud of being yourself. There's no one else like you and one day you will meet a man who will see you. Soul matters most. As long as you go about living life with joy and knowing that you can't change what has already been given, you will be happy. And no opinion could change the way you feel. Work on yourself first, work on being confident in your image and it will shine through you! If you keep hiding in your shell and avoiding all contact with people, no one gets to see you and therefore avoids you. You have to break free and just be you. That's when those around you will really see you. So stop allowing yourself to believe you're not worthy, you are. More than you can ever know.

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  • Fake confidence Hun, I know it sounds silly but ever hear the saying fake it till you make it? And I've found when you have more confidence guys tend to pick up on that and that's what they see as attractive. Some men are shallow as fuck and only care about what you look like, tho those are definitely not worth your time. Put on something that makes you feel good, regardless of what other people think. As long as you feel good it will show

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  • Why approached what you mean have never kiss or what?

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  • First of all, the way you feel about yourself has an impact on how people see you. The way you feel about yourself comes out in a physical way too. I used to feel like you too cause guys would never go for me, I started to feel insecure and think i'm not attractive. Everyone would compliment other woman and not me. People would call me plain Jane. I started googling, First I changed the way i carried myself, I used to walk with my shoulders slanted forward and looking down but now i walk with my shoulders back and my posture portrays confidence even though I don't always feel that way. Google how to change your posture, don't look away, start to make eye contact, don't stare but give a hint. Like look for a few seconds, make eye contact and then look away. This gives the guy a signal that you are interested. Stop trying to hide in your phone ( if you do) or stop trying to look occupied cause guys are less likely to approach you when you do look occupied. You're going to have to practice flirting and talking to people. I practiced flirting first over text or type and then in real life. you can even flirt in a way without talking. like playing with your hair when talking to a guy and keeping eye contact when talking. Google how to flirt over text and in front of people. Start telling yourself you are beautiful. It really works. Look in the mirror and tell yourself you are beautiful. I googled how to dress in a way that compliments my body, makes me feel comfortable and compliments my personality. So like google fashionable clothes and choose what you like. I hate fashion cause it makes me feel uncomfortable and cause it's not my thing, i'm not girly but I found a few things that makes me look beautiful but that doesn't make me feel uncomfortable or slutty, it's respectful but beautiful. I hate makeup as well but i started applying just a little bit, enough that brings out my features but not too much that makes me look like a stupid doll, like most girls today, you can google how to do makeup according to your head shape and eye color as well as skin tone. Also start putting yourself in social situations, this is the hard part, you'll have to force yourself to talk to people, I did this by doing promotional work and volunteering, so I'd learn about the product and then I'd write down precisely what to say when someone walks by, that way i'm not left in the dark and am prepared. It helped me build my confidence and communicative skills.

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