And now I have almost become emotionally closed off. I have even stopped having silly crushes. Its like my heart has created this strong impermeable layer around it and won't let anyone in. I don't feel worthy of male attention. I criticize everything about me. I am really shy and awkward in front of men. It almost sometimes comes off as rude I guess. Sometimes my confidence is so low that I avoid looking people in the eyes. I feel if I won't look in their eyes maybe they won't see how ugly I am. Pathetic.. I know. I don't wanna be like this anymore. What should I do?