Do I have real reason for concern or am I overthinking it? What should I do?

Hey, so, I love my boyfriend but sometimes he does things that concern me a little bit. I feel like I am probably just being over sensitive or jealous or scared because of never really having a constant, real, love in my life so maybe I am wrong? Anyway, for example, I asked him once why he picks a female character instead of a male one, just curiously, and he said "if I am gonna look at something for 8 hours or whatever I'd rather look at a woman." And I felt a little hurt by that since it's not like the girl looks like me or anything but I just asked, "Why?" And he got a little frustrated and said, "I don't know I just do." And I said, "But why do you want to look at another woman like that?" And I was calm because I was still hurt. And he got more frustrated and said, "Idk! I was just joking okay?" And I said it didn't sound like it and he said how I should of course know he was joking and he was pretty upset. Another time at work some girl asked if she could stay at his house, implying she would do things with him, and he said, "No, I don't think my girlfriend would like that." Maybe I am wrong but isn't that something you say when you really mean, yeah you're hot but sadly my girlfriend would kill me if I did that so no. I know what happened because he told me. If it were me I would never have said it like that you know? I'd be like, "I'm sorry, I'm not interested." And probably mention I have a boyfriend as well but the main point being I'm not interested, period. And after he said my girlfriend wouldn't like it she said, "Well she doesn't have to know." And he was just like flustered saying how no he didn't want to and how I would find out anyway or something. I know guys can be oblivious sometimes but come on! That isn't like... something you say... Am I crazy? I don't feel safe wih him... like he doesn't reassure me right away unless I ask him to. He does other nice things don't get me wrong, but are things like this red flags? Am I overthinking?


Most Helpful Guy

  • Over thinking


Most Helpful Girl

  • i mean, personally i think you can't overthink what happens in a relationship like that. for the first one, from what it sounds like i think he was lightheartedly joking. so that one i think you can brush off. for the second one, i mean, i wouldn't overanalyze that becuz from experience i know that people not only say stupid shit they didn't mean to say, but they dont really know what they said. im sure he didn't mean for it to come out as "ur hot but i have a girlfriend who wouldn't like that" or he could even be oblivious of the fact that she was asking him for sex (idk the story but im sure thats not the case) but in the end its your call. if he loves you, then he loves you

    • Thank you for the kind reply, (btw I love Overwatch too!). Anyway, you're probably right, I guess I just get scared and don't have a lot of experience or people to talk to right now you know? He did know that's what she wanted but maybe he just felt uncomfortable and just tried to say anything to get her away. I mean I guess if he really meant bad by it, he wouldn't have told me probably. So thanks again! :)

    • no problem fellow overwatch player:)

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