What are reasons men won't approach women?

Obvious ones are they don't find them attractive or are shy but I mean I've never not even once been approached.

I see girls being approached all the time and I'm quite envious.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • I don't approach co-workers because it could give me a trip to HR.

    A lot of guys approach women because they don't believe women want to be approached in a lot of places. I've only heard women complain about being approached, even in respectful ways. I've never heard anyone really say anything positive about a man they weren't interested in them approaching. This mixed with a society what's trying make unwanted approaches/attention a form of sexual harassment, leaves men cautious about approaching. Woman who doesn't seem to be showing interest, or giving signs of wanting to be approached.

    This point goes off the last one but if a guy feels you're not interested in him then he's not likely to ask you out. Most men go through life not feeling invisible to women. This mixed with the last point would lead a guy not to approach. Women who give mixed signals are bound not to be approached as much. If a guy feels a woman is leading him on he won't approach. I've been lead on in the past. Everyone though the girl was into me, I thought the same and asked her out only to find out she wasn't, that it was either a joke, Or she was just flirty, or she was just trying to get something from me. This has happened a bit. Sk I'm a bit on the cautious end when a woman flirts because it's embarrassing and humiliating.

    Being in university there have been times when I've been busy so I didn't have the time to approach a girl at the moment and just never ran into her again. Other times I didn't approach a girl because I had a pretty busy schedule and just didn't have time to date. I'm also broke, most of my time goes towards university and the little bit of money I make goes towards tutoring in my spare time. Once I graduate and have a full time job I may approach more. Can't take a girl on a date with no money.

    The odd occassion I go to a bar it's mainly to catch up and hang out with friends and not approach women. If I happen to meet a woman when there great if not, well that wasn't the intended purpose of being there anyways.

    Some men just like being single. They save more money, and have more time to spend on their lives when single. This is kind of what I want to do for a while. Just work on myself before dating,

    So these are the reasons why I've rarly approached in the past, didn't approach a specific woman and why I don't approach my now.

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    • I want to just throw out there a lot of guys are open to being approached. So if you like a guy feel free to approach him.

    • Good point. All I ever seem to hear from girls I know are things like "So I was at the store today and this really creepy guy was trying to talk to me..."
      I take that to mean the fact he was trying to talk to you was creepy, not that every guy you ever run into is a creep, considering how rarely I meet them.

      And yes for the record everyone, there are guys out there who are totally open to being approached, and would probably be thrilled about it, since it happens about as often as getting an unsolicited message on a dating site, which is to say never.

    • @Kithor i agree not every guy approaching a girl is a creep though at times it's subjective. I was at a bar with some friends (male and female), and I guy sent a drink over to a girl at the next table (the waitress brought the drink to the girl). That girl started talking to us about how she found it creepy. I didn't really see how. I also know that not every girl who gets a drink brought to her finds it creepy. I also know that there are a lot of genuinely creepy guys out there and I get that (guys that are sleazy and don't respect boundaries and don't take no for an answer).

Most Helpful Girl

  • Too good for him.

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What Guys Said 36

  • The guys here covered some good points. I'll avoid approaching a woman because there is almost no legitimate place other than a bar to approach someone respectably and I don't drink. The other is that I'm sick of being rejected over and over again. I believe it's a matter of social conditioning that men are expected to ask and women are expected to wait and be asked. I imagine it's very frustrating on both sides, it sure is on ours, so it couldn't hurt to break the tradition sometimes. We, too, want to know that a woman is willing to put in work before feeling comfortable with committing.

    One thing I can add is makeup. I avoid women with too much makeup who don't go out without it. I believe it seems to suggest that she has such high expectations of herself that she is either narcissistic or feels a bit of inferiority, or most likely a bit of both. I was with a woman for 6.5 years who seemed never really sure if she loves me and said that she didn't believe that I loved her, which couldn't be farther from the truth. I've come to believe that love is faith. You just have to believe it, so I avoid insecurity, which could be why women find confidence attractive. I don't know.

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  • I need to have a very good indication that I will get a positive response from you. When I look at you, If you are smiling and look happy, I will look your way. Look up at me and smile, and you have me although, I may still intimidated but I will want to.

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  • Men are bitches. Lol there’s a certain mindset you need before you can run up and talk to girls. Taking action is SUPER terrifying. Because guys view it from their emotions. Take perspective and view it logically.
    Although things that have made me shake from my pussyfooting around is seeing a absolute stunner when I freak out and suddenly run after her.
    So dress hot!

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  • Fear of rejection, the assumption that she isn't single, the refusal to pander to a girl's ego (on principle), etc. There could be a number of reasons.

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  • Maybe its simply the way you dress or how you carry your self. Some guys will stay clear if the woman looks "high maintance" and will. stay clear if they look like they just crawled from a storm shelter. Find the happy medium and go from there. Or just focus on you and wait on mr. Right instead of worrying about other woman.

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  • You can read up on being approachable; eye contact, body language, receptive words, and whatnot. You're very attractive so some guys are probably just intimidated, but you might be putting out the wrong vibe too. It's scary approaching a woman, especially cold approach. If I don't know anything about you to start a conversation and I'm not getting the "come hither" signals, it's just foolish to approach.

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  • If you want to be approached more, just act more friendly. People here claim that it's fear of rejection, I claim it's more about the ego because they set an expectation and failure will make them think less of themselves.

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  • Biggest reason is women are afraid to give the right signals,.. like how many times have I heard of her actually interesting in a guy but yet she just sits there with a bitch resting face scared shaking in her boots waiting for the guy to do all the work

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  • they're with their friends/cock blocker brigade
    they're with a male friend so you think it's their boyfriend
    they're in a rush so there is no point because she looks like she doesn't have the time

    Guys, Is this true for guys? ↗ watch the video on this question

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  • Most guys just don't like rejection. You seem good looking so perhaps most guys go for the more average girls who are more easy to approach.

    It could also be (not saying you are) that you have this 'bitchy' vibe and just not approachable to men or you don't give men the right signals.

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  • Surrounded by others mostly. Being alone makes you much more approachable.

    Also, don't be in a hurry. If you look like you're focusing on something else, I'll let you do your thing.

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  • Sometimes shy behaviour can be easily mistaken for rude and stuck up.
    Its easier to approach a someone who look approachable and nice

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  • The girls you see being approached is mostly the super popular girls that get approached by the loudest guy in the room. Dont worry about it though lots of girls dont get approached by a guy

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  • those are my top reasons in order:

    1: she smokes
    2: she's fat
    3: she wears designer clothes, lots of jewelry and makeup. i don't wanna deal with a high maintenance bitch xD

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    • well those are the reasons attributable to the woman xD the actual reason i mostly don't do it is cause i'm insecure and fear rejection. i think it's not worth to pull myself together, get up and make a move just to get the typical "i have a boyfriend" or "ugh do i look like i wanna be talked to?"

  • It can also be that the woman just doesn't look approachable, body language and eye contact (or lack of) is critical!

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  • Most obvious is who is around you. Most woman like to be alone. But sometimes you might get approached if you sit alone in the bar where they can see you (hint)

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  • I always just assume she's taken, or wouldn't be interested in me, or would want kids (which is a constant problem for me; I went on a date yesterday and that ended up being the deal-breaker for her).

    Unless you're a Basic Bro, the chances that you and that random girl at Starbucks will actually work out are tiny, while the chances that you'll be bothering her or she'll think you're a creep are probably better than even.

    So at least for guys like me, it probably has nothing to do with you, it's about probabilities.

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  • Hmm not sure you look attractive so can't really tell you why

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  • I wouldn´t approach every girl I find attractive, that´ll be a waste of my time. I approach girls whenever I´m feeling like it.

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