Why isn't my boyfriend concerned about me?

I don't remember the last time I was happy. I've forgotten how happiness feels like. I don't even know what it means to be happy anymore.

Whenever I'm in trouble, my boyfriend isn't concerned about my safety at all. I was out with my cousins at the hotel and we heard arguing next door and things being thrown around.

We saw a bag of guns in the hallway. Someone was being confronted about cheating. The girlfriend said she will kill everyone because her friend wouldn't confess and her boyfriend kept throwing things around to defend himself out of anger.

I was scared so I told my boyfriend and all he said was, "So do your cousins have boyfriends? Or are they single? Did you have guys over?"

And I'm thinking to myself someone has guns in the damn hallway and threatened to kill everyone and you're just concerned over your selfish stupid shitty insecureness? Police came and took the people in the next room but you don't know how it feels until it happens to you. I thought the person was going to start shooting through walls and doors.

Why is my boyfriend more concerned about guys talking to me than my safety? I'm so sick and tired of this. It was just a family night in a hotel, no alcohol and boys but chips, games and water and he still doesn't trust me.

Maybe I should just die. I kept thinking to myself I should have just ran myself into the people next door and ask them to shoot and kill me.
Why isn't my boyfriend concerned about me?
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