Negativity with ones self?

My girlfriend I love her a lot but at times her own self loathing aggrivates me. I hate it when she just mopes in her own sadness I try so hard I really do but at times its just impossible. I try to do what I can to stop her demons but she always falls back into it. She hates herself she hates the life at home she's been given but I help I try so much and I want her to move forward but it's always the person in the mirror she hates. She hates when I try to give her presents because she can't give back I just like to give small tokens every once in a while but she out right tries to reject them. I text her I got you something and she's like you didn't have to waste your money on me you shouldn't have save your money. I know she's not the richest person but I like seeing her happy even if it's a small thing but all she really does is just cry I try to console her but at times I don't know what to do. She helped me through my depression though I really tried to hide it at times she's hard to talk to not in an annoying way but how she compares herself to other people. Some bitch with bigger breasts and disgusting personality she's like I wish I was her. I didn't fall in love with that person I didn't fall in love for money or looks or anything I liked her for who she was her personality her laugh I hate seeing her compare herself to trashy people I try I don't know what to do at times I feel myself just wanting to be alone figure out what I can, do but sometimes I just don't know how to help her. What should I do?


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What Girls Said 2

  • It’s a question of whether you are willing to stick with her through this or move along... no one, and I promise you, no one can get her out of this slump but herself. If she really wanted too she would find peace within herself, which is extremely hard to do but very possible. You sound like you love her so it is a matter of just being a support system and a shoulder to cry on.

    Sometimes people thrive off of negative attention, such as the attention you give to cheer her up. But you must remember self care is a factor. Do not sacrifice yourself and well being for someone who does not appreciate or embrace your efforts. It will turn into a vicious cycle of her needing, you giving , her taking, her lack of appreciation/reciprocation and you feeling empty and wanting to give more.
    It’s much easier to find love within yourself and then it will be easier to find someone with that same brightened within them.

    I’ve experienced this, good luck

    • Honestly this has been the answer I was looking. You're right we've been through a lot but at times its hard. If it ends it ends but I at least want to have a chance to make it work. Think there is room for it?

  • Honestly I don’t have advice. I cut these people out of my life because I just can’t stand it. I just wanted to say it’s sweet that you try for her and care so much.

    • I try so hard I just wish she could love herself as much as I love her but at times its like talking to a wall

    • She is the only one that can help her. :/

    • I guess so, thank you miss

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