Being the leader in the relationship is a double edged sword. Sad huh?
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Your own destructive behavior such an desire to control aspects of your life might be the suspect of the issue; also it seems like your aware of the behavial pattern.
Maybe ask yourself why do you ultimately seek control in every romantic relationship?0
the only way relationships work is equality. if one assumes a role or think they need to play a role it usually ends one way0
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