My boyfriend and I want to start a family once I turn 18 (3 days) should we?

We’ve wanted this for a while now and as much as I am excited, I’m also terrified. Cuz I’d be a mom and married and holy shit that’s a lot for a young person. So should we? We don’t live together but we’re hoping to move in together soon once I get a better job


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Get the better job first please!

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Not a good idea.
    Do you have an education- no you don't.
    Do you have a good paying job with benefits- I doubt it
    Do you have a means of supporting yourself by yourself- I doubt it
    You aren't married nor have you been married long enough
    Children do not and will never make life easier.
    You're too young. Live life first, go ahead and marry him but wait for a few years before having children.
    Enjoy each other first, once you have children you can't just up and go out for fun. No going to concerts with friends, no going shopping on a spur.
    Your children are your life.
    Children are wonderful yes but live a little first.

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What Guys Said 20

  • When you have this better job and a place of your own then sure, it's your choice. Don't be having babies until you are able to take care of them without someone else having to prop you up financially.

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  • NO NO NO.

    You're way too young for marriage, let alone having kids. Go live a little. Explore. Take some courses at college. Let yourself develop some more (physically, mentally, and emotionally).

    Wait three or four years, and if this all still sounds like a great idea then go for it.

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  • I had my first kid at 19. it was not easy and i was benefitted by owning a house through an inheritance. it allowed me to finish my University to be qualified for my profession.

    if i wasn't afforded this fortune, i would have done it real tough along with my wife and child.

    Keep in mind the bills are huge, unexpected and relentless. If you fall behind no one will care and in fact, they will come for you.

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  • You definetely shouldn't do it now. It's too early and you have to focus on other things first. You can obviously continue together but you should postpone your family plans for some years.

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  • You shouldn't start a family until you have a home and jobs that are stable and pay enough to support you and your kids

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  • Happy almost birthday... I hope it's not the only day you are an adult and aren't pregnant, or a mother. I wouldn't rush that. It's too soon. Too much change at once

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    • Aw thanks (: and true it is a lot of change

    • Seriously, I'd say wait. A child will push you into a different stage of life. If it's right when you start adulthood. There goes living away from parents and having more freedom. At least without thinking about a child

  • Yeah, I wanted a Lamborghini at 18 too, but couldn't afford it. Maybe you should get a job and help pay for things. Your boyfriend is too young to realize he is paying for and subsidizing your dream life.

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    • I have a job. Learn to read. He doesn’t help pay for shit. I pay for my own stuff. The post says “better job” so we can both live comfortably

    • Do you have any idea how unintelligent you sound. Do you think some minimum wage, part-time piece of shit job is going to get you by? Do you think it is ok for your boyfriend to "not pay for shit?" Just going to be another poverty ridden family, if he sticks around. Bad mouth me all you want. I hope you know how to read and can understand all the comments here about how you are about to make a mistake and you need to wait.

  • You probably can't handle a kid so no. Plus you're both so young who knows how long the relationship will last?

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  • NOOOOOOO
    please don't ruin your life and end up one of those people in their 40s crying about wasted life opportunities

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  • No. Just wait. Here is why.

    1) you are young. People change so much from 20-30 and that's why divorce statistics are so high

    2) you are young. Other people will come along and regrets will be made. Cheating will happen. If it doesn't congrats get married when you're 30. Then you know it's right

    3) you will be poor. 75% of people who don't get married before the age of 25, don't have kids out of wedlock, and get a high school diploma will be middle class. You are shitting on 2/3rds of that

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  • If you really think your ready for it, you should follow your heart. But keep in mind that a child is a lot of weight on your shoulders. It the most perfect blessing you can get, but it is hard and takes over your social life for a while.

    When i was your age, I was already in a 3 year relationship. We also wanted to do this, but we both agreed that it will be better for us to enjoy life for a little while. You have all the time left to make this decision.

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  • No. I can't begin to explain why thats bad

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    • Well, please explain lol

    • First you have to fathom how hard it is to actually have children. Then you have to make sure that you are financially stable in order to ensure that you won't get stuck working double shift for 20 years just to be making ends meet. Its just a horrible idea if you don't have a good financial plan

    • Touché man

  • It depends. Family needs money to survive. If you are sure in your future = why not.

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  • Absolutely not

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  • Life is too short for that at 18.

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  • Yah it is your choice at the end of the day

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  • Should wait a little may be one or two years at least

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  • Why not get established first?

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  • Obviously its been done but when you have the option. No that is sooo stupid. Go to school get a education and a good job. Your 18 and you want to move in with a boyfriend and have kids. That is stupid as all hell

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  • In my opinion, it's not only dumb to do that, but, I think it's dumb for under 18's to have s. o.'s

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What Girls Said 7

  • I wouldn’t until the both of you are already married, as you said you will be and a wedding is costly, you both have a home together and both of you have good paying jobs. Children are wonderful but they’re also a very large commitment and very costly. It’s best to get all the other things out of the way first.

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  • Hell no. People change so much simply from age 18 to 20. Your brain doesn't even finish developing until age 25.

    Having a family is a massive responsibility and a huge financial burden. Start saving money now if you're thinking about having a future like that together so that once it does happen you will have a much smoother start (which almost always equals a better and more satisfied relationship).

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  • I feel that even tho you are excited, it is most definitely not a good time. you dont sound financially confident at all, and im pretty sure you dont want your child growing up in poverty. once you go to college and are able to get a good job, i feel that is a good time. also i think any age under 25 is too young, but that is just personal opinion

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  • There’s nothing wrong with getting a better job and having a foundation to build on rather than throwing a baby out first.

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  • Do you have jobs? Do you have your own place? Do you have approximately 5-10 gs to manage the babies basic needs like clothes, formula, doctor's visits? Do any of you have any formal training or higher education?

    If you answered no to any of these stop being a fucking idiot and DO NOT.

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  • Don't pop out babies until you're financially stable.

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  • I think you should move in together first, then get married, and then talk about children... That is how I would go about it...

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