How do I tell my boyfriend I like someone else?

I have a boyfriend and he’s away at uni at the moment and when he was away I met someone and we just instantly had a connection and we’ve been talking and have gone out for a few drinks. It’s been 3 weeks and everyday I catch more feelings for him and lose feelings for my boyfriend. I know I can’t let this go on and before anything escalates I need to tell him how I feel. We’ve only been dating for 3 months but I feel like me having feelings for someone else is really gonna hurt him but I have to tell him , what’s the best way to tell him because I really don’t know how I’m gonna do it

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Most Helpful Guy

  • I have a few comments on this. The first is that I don't really find it surprising. You weren't that deep into the relationship with your boyfriend and maintaining a long distance relationship is very hard especially if you don't have a really solid relationship built before you're separated. It is not at all unusual for relationships to fall apart when one person goes away. Doing things together in person is important to keeping relationships strong and you can't do that when you can't be physically together.

    Some people seem to be trying to shame you for cheating, but at your age and with your current relationship being only very short, I don't really think it's anything to be ashamed of that you'd rather be with someone you can be with, particularly if you feel a strong connection. Dating at your age is about finding the person you're most compatible with and can be most happy with. I would not feel guilty about ending a short-term relationship because you think you can do better. I'd feel differently if you'd been together for years or certainly if you were married, but not in your situation.

    I don't think there's any way to dump someone that won't hurt them so you have to accept that. I think I'd just tell your boyfriend that you really like him and enjoyed the time you had together, but it's just too hard being apart from him and so you want to date someone that lives near you so you can do things together. (I'd avoid mentioning the new guy unless he asks.) In the long run, it might be better for your boyfriend too because he'll then be free to explore relationships with someone new that he meets there and that he can be together with in person.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • It you’ve been dating for 3 months and he’s away at UNI, how much of your relationship we’re you actually together?
    The fact that your relationship never had the chance to cement itself by your togetherness, you need to just tell him. You could say you weren’t sure initially anyway with him being away most of the time and you didn’t know this but you need someone more local in your life. You could go on to tell him all the great qualities he has and that it’s best for the both of you and add, he’ll be meeting new people at uni and you don’t want to restrict that on him.
    How long had you been dating before he went away to UNI?

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What Guys Said 24

  • You should break up with him if you're no longer interested in him, but Try to do it without telling him you met someone else. That is profoundly more hurtful than a girlfriend saying she isn't interested in you anymore.

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  • Write in as a poem!

    Roses are red
    Violets are blue
    I've been cheating on your ass with another dude while you were away at university because I'm a low quality female
    So I'm breaking up with you

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  • It is normal to find other people attractive while you're in a relationship.

    Just don't act on it!

    Unless u want to break up with your boyfriend, I see no reason to mention this guy to him.

    Figure out if u want to continue this relationship, or if u want to break up and pursue this new guy

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  • You're 18. He's 18 to 20?

    Get out there, enjoy life, enjoy people.

    There's plenty of time to settle down.

    Just be considerate: be honest towards your partners, come forward instead of being caught cheating, break the news in a manner you would find acceptable if roles were rev ersed.

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  • Better to do it while it’s still fresh, it’ll be easier for him to get over it the sooner it happens, otherwise he’ll invest and become emotionally attached, making it harder for him.

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  • Don't worry. He will get over it. It's possible he's meet someone else too. If not, he will soon enough.

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  • Oh look another shinny object.

    Just tell him you're dumping him for another man.
    The sooner he gets over the fact he's been cheated on, the sooner he can move on with his life.

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  • Tell him you want to talk something. Maybe start off telling him that you are losing interest in him because you like someone else. It's gonna hurt for him but its up to him on how he'll react.

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  • Dont make an excuse just tell him that u dont have the same feelings as u did before. Lying will put u in a problem and give him a reason to see u as cheater

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  • I would say you should take these into consideration before doing anything:

    - what was it like before he left for uni.

    - do you trust him not to be doing the same.

    - do you actually like the guy more than him or is it a way to forget about the distance. (Don't take this personally, I know some people that have done this)

    If it is true that you have more feelings for this guy I would break up with your boyfriend, make sure you explain to him about the distance and how it makes you feel, it's better to be honest than to make up an excuse. If he gets annoyed or does not take it well then say you're sorry and explain that you'll always be there for him, as a guy I think it's the best thing if a girl explains that she will always be there for them because it allows a friendship to become from it. If he goes out of control and starts becoming violent towards it then remove him from a contact and you know he wasn't right.

    ~ Jack.

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What Girls Said 6

  • It's only been three months. Just say, sorry, no offense but I don't think it's working out. I don't want to waste your time because I'm just not that interested in you anymore. No reason really, we just don't click that well. Done. He doesn't even need to be told found someone else.

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  • Hahaha just tell him: `I´m a shitty girlfriend who couldn´t stay loyal to one guy so I went to see another guy in the meantime without telling you and I caught feelings because I basically don´t care about you and I don´t value our relationship at all. You don't deserve such a shitty immature person like me.´´

    He´d be glad he got rid of a cheater, trust me.

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  • You’ve already basically cheated by going on a date with this guy despite having a boyfriend. Your boyfriend deserves to have someone who doesn’t do that to him. Just tell him.

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  • If you've only been dating for 3 months and you're already catching feelings for another dude, it's a sign you shouldn't be dating him or at least tell him that you might be polyamorous or something.

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  • I need to tell you this, it may be hard, but I think we should just be friends

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  • You are really wrong for that cousin r stay faithful huh? WhT if the person you like likes someone else too or was just playing you !

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