How do I tell my boyfriend I like someone else?

I have a boyfriend and he’s away at uni at the moment and when he was away I met someone and we just instantly had a connection and we’ve been talking and have gone out for a few drinks. It’s been 3 weeks and everyday I catch more feelings for him and lose feelings for my boyfriend. I know I can’t let this go on and before anything escalates I need to tell him how I feel. We’ve only been dating for 3 months but I feel like me having feelings for someone else is really gonna hurt him but I have to tell him , what’s the best way to tell him because I really don’t know how I’m gonna do it

0|0
725

Most Helpful Guy

  • I have a few comments on this. The first is that I don't really find it surprising. You weren't that deep into the relationship with your boyfriend and maintaining a long distance relationship is very hard especially if you don't have a really solid relationship built before you're separated. It is not at all unusual for relationships to fall apart when one person goes away. Doing things together in person is important to keeping relationships strong and you can't do that when you can't be physically together.

    Some people seem to be trying to shame you for cheating, but at your age and with your current relationship being only very short, I don't really think it's anything to be ashamed of that you'd rather be with someone you can be with, particularly if you feel a strong connection. Dating at your age is about finding the person you're most compatible with and can be most happy with. I would not feel guilty about ending a short-term relationship because you think you can do better. I'd feel differently if you'd been together for years or certainly if you were married, but not in your situation.

    I don't think there's any way to dump someone that won't hurt them so you have to accept that. I think I'd just tell your boyfriend that you really like him and enjoyed the time you had together, but it's just too hard being apart from him and so you want to date someone that lives near you so you can do things together. (I'd avoid mentioning the new guy unless he asks.) In the long run, it might be better for your boyfriend too because he'll then be free to explore relationships with someone new that he meets there and that he can be together with in person.

    0|0
    0|0
    THIS IS NOT RELEVANT ANYMORE

Most Helpful Girl

  • It you’ve been dating for 3 months and he’s away at UNI, how much of your relationship we’re you actually together?
    The fact that your relationship never had the chance to cement itself by your togetherness, you need to just tell him. You could say you weren’t sure initially anyway with him being away most of the time and you didn’t know this but you need someone more local in your life. You could go on to tell him all the great qualities he has and that it’s best for the both of you and add, he’ll be meeting new people at uni and you don’t want to restrict that on him.
    How long had you been dating before he went away to UNI?

    0|0
    0|0
    THIS IS NOT RELEVANT ANYMORE

Recommended Questions

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 24

  • Write in as a poem!

    Roses are red
    Violets are blue
    I've been cheating on your ass with another dude while you were away at university because I'm a low quality female
    So I'm breaking up with you

    1|3
    0|0
  • It is normal to find other people attractive while you're in a relationship.

    Just don't act on it!

    Unless u want to break up with your boyfriend, I see no reason to mention this guy to him.

    Figure out if u want to continue this relationship, or if u want to break up and pursue this new guy

    0|0
    0|0
  • You should break up with him if you're no longer interested in him, but Try to do it without telling him you met someone else. That is profoundly more hurtful than a girlfriend saying she isn't interested in you anymore.

    0|0
    0|0
  • You're 18. He's 18 to 20?

    Get out there, enjoy life, enjoy people.

    There's plenty of time to settle down.

    Just be considerate: be honest towards your partners, come forward instead of being caught cheating, break the news in a manner you would find acceptable if roles were rev ersed.

    0|0
    0|1
  • Better to do it while it’s still fresh, it’ll be easier for him to get over it the sooner it happens, otherwise he’ll invest and become emotionally attached, making it harder for him.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Don't worry. He will get over it. It's possible he's meet someone else too. If not, he will soon enough.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Oh look another shinny object.

    Just tell him you're dumping him for another man.
    The sooner he gets over the fact he's been cheated on, the sooner he can move on with his life.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Tell him you want to talk something. Maybe start off telling him that you are losing interest in him because you like someone else. It's gonna hurt for him but its up to him on how he'll react.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Dont make an excuse just tell him that u dont have the same feelings as u did before. Lying will put u in a problem and give him a reason to see u as cheater

    0|0
    0|0
  • Your current boyfriend is probably going to be disappointed regardless of how you break it to him, but you should probably not mention the other guy. Just tell him that the current situation isn't going to work out. You could try to hook him up with a friend of yours, but the distance is probably going to be a problem regardless. You should let him be free so he can move on and hook up with someone on campus. Him being locked down to you isn't fair to him either since Uni offers so many opportunities to meet new people and he could find a woman who is right for him.

    0|0
    0|0
  • well what you need to do is do your boyfriend a favor and tell him but if i was him id shake the mans hand say good luck with her because thats pretty fucked up

    0|0
    0|0
  • just break up with him and tell him you want to see other people.

    0|0
    0|0
  • simply their r two cases ie firstone is u should route with him and slowly slowly u should break and second one is go and tell him that i like anyone and its all over

    0|0
    0|0
  • With a bit of compassion. Nobody likes being usurped, downgraded or invalidated. Plus if he is at university you might actually be doing him a favour. I was at uni and when you're hundreds of miles away from your home town and every week you're out with a crowd of debauched ladies it is a relief when the girl you left back home says "I don't think we can continue this long distance.". heartbroken till someone gets a round of Jaeger Bombs and the class Looney tune runs up to you with her top off shouting "truth or dare in five minutes!!!" (ahhh memories... .)

    0|1
    0|0
  • Just break up with him and say it didn't work out for you.

    1|0
    0|0
  • 1. Best do it earlier than later. 2. Take into account distance and time. 3. How long have you known your boyfriend before dating?

    0|0
    0|0
  • Just don't make it a text message. Do something personal like in person or over the phone

    0|0
    0|0
  • End it based on LDR and just remain friends. Or not

    0|0
    0|0
  • It depends if you want to go for the new guy or your boyfriend.

    New guy: tell your boyfriend that you need to talk. Then tell him your feelings have changed since you last saw him (or something like that). Then eventually break up.

    Boyfriend: Stop dating that other guy and go see your boyfriend as soon as possible. Tell him your feelings have been slowly shrinking and you want to rekindle them.

    In whatever scenario telling the truth is most important. You shouldn't lie to him or keep information from him, that will only make it worse.

    0|0
    0|1
  • Don't make an excuse but say you start to lose interest.

    0|0
    0|0
  • More from Guys
    4

What Girls Said 6

  • It's only been three months. Just say, sorry, no offense but I don't think it's working out. I don't want to waste your time because I'm just not that interested in you anymore. No reason really, we just don't click that well. Done. He doesn't even need to be told found someone else.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Hahaha just tell him: `I´m a shitty girlfriend who couldn´t stay loyal to one guy so I went to see another guy in the meantime without telling you and I caught feelings because I basically don´t care about you and I don´t value our relationship at all. You don't deserve such a shitty immature person like me.´´

    He´d be glad he got rid of a cheater, trust me.

    0|2
    0|0
  • You’ve already basically cheated by going on a date with this guy despite having a boyfriend. Your boyfriend deserves to have someone who doesn’t do that to him. Just tell him.

    0|4
    0|0
  • If you've only been dating for 3 months and you're already catching feelings for another dude, it's a sign you shouldn't be dating him or at least tell him that you might be polyamorous or something.

    0|0
    0|0
  • I need to tell you this, it may be hard, but I think we should just be friends

    0|0
    0|0
  • You are really wrong for that cousin r stay faithful huh? WhT if the person you like likes someone else too or was just playing you !

    0|0
    0|0

Recommended myTakes

Loading...