Is it futile to date someone a lot different than you? Even if you have intense chemistry?

I think it's good to experiment with people to see who your best fit is... and I thought that when I met this guy, he's 22, I'm 23... but now that we're serious and actually in a relationship I'm second guessing it all. He and I both agreed our chemistry is on point.. there is a huge pull between us, sexually and not. It all feels natural and I'm myself with him and I really feel a hug of warmth around him. When we first met eyes there was no going back, he approached me and we couldn't not continue despite being pretty different. For one, religion and politics are a total mismatch. I'm not religious and believe religions are a joke, while he is Christian and goes to church and believes in Jesus as the Bible speaks of him. He also fully is a trump support, whereas I dont hate him but I don't believe he should be president. He owns a lot of guns and has them all around his house, while I don't believe in them. Maybe for fun (not hunting) with targets. I don't eat meat, he does. I see on Instagram he likes posts of blondes in bikinis, country stuff, etc. I'm kinda gothic, somewhat nihilistic, a bit of a loner, a huge mixture of whatever makes me happy and I fully welcome freedom to do what you want if it makes you happy, so sometimes I act kinda goofy. he says I'm the weirdest person he has ever met and so different from everyone around him. Whereas what attracts me to him is how real he is, since I don't feel real myself. I guess in my past I dated guys who were just like me, and it always failed, so now he is completely different but I don't know if that's good. Is this a stupid arrangement or should I just go with it?

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What Guys Said 3

  • Being with someone who is so different can be mentally stimulating.

    If you are going to make it long term, just come to an understanding, such as you will go to church with him one day a year that he picks, you will have vege meals twice a week, and you will learn how to safely handle a gun. Then ALWAYS fulfill your part of the deal, no matter what.

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  • Yeah but don't focus on what's different. Focus on why you're with him in the first place.

    Opposites can attract, it offers a stimulating conversation, so long a set you're both rational, which it sounds like you are.

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  • Nope its normal. Evidence doesn't show that complementary couples fare worse than similar couples

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