Guys, Is it true opposites attract?

are you attracted to a laid back, innocent type of girl? I'm talking to a guy right now and he's complete opposite of me. He's outgoing and loves to party and get drunk. He's very kind and funny and has LOTS of friends. I'm laid back, I like to stay in, have few friends, can be outgoing but mostly I'm quiet and shy, I'm kind to everyone and laugh a lot and care a lot for others and I'm a huge family girl. He says he's really into me and his actions prove it but I'm wondering why he would be into me when I'm opposite of him (quiet, don't like to party, etc)... Guys what are your opinions on this?

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Most Helpful Guy

  • I believe it's not so much that opposites attract but more so that you are seduced by those who you wish to become or longed for earlier in your life.

    Be it being young, reckless, free or whatever opposite of what has become of your life now. It's a type of longing and I believe people seduce themselves and give into this belief that this person will make things good or better, even if realistically it really doesn't work that way.

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What Guys Said 33

  • Opposites do attract, but people also need to have things in common to connect and have a foundation for a relationship.

    The reason opposites attract is that traits that we don't have we find interesting in others. In a relationship, this can be good IF they are complementary, as in, where one is weak, the other is strong, so they can support each other. And in fact, when we see our bad traits in someone else, especially when we have worked hard to get rid of those traits, that annoys us more than anything! So that's another good reason for opposites.

    But again, if you have no interests in common, have totally opposite political views, have religious views that conflict, if there is no middle ground for the two of you, it will be a problem. I like to think of it as two puzzle pieces that fit together. They aren't mirror images of each other, but where one lacks (bends in), the other provides (bends out). If both bend out at a place, they will rub together. If both bend in at a place, it will be a void, a weakness in the relationship.

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  • More likely to not not go we'll, since after the initial novelty wears off, the differences will start to cause issues.

    And because attraction and compatibility are two different things.
    You might be head over heels but that doesn't mean that you are compatible and vice versa.

    In your case it seems to that you have attraction but won't be compatible longterm.

    Unless you are looking for hookups and friends with benefits arrangements, in that case go ahead and have fun.

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  • Actually people tend to subconsciously prefer others that mirror their own likes and behaviors. Of course that isn't an absolute and you will likely rarely meet guys close to being exactly the same as you.

    This excludes certain physical things like preferring different heights or broad shoulder on guys versus hips on girls. We obviously have different sexual preferences across the sexes. "Opposites attract" is platitude. That doesn't mean you can't do well with him though.

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  • Opposites attract in the fact that it’s different and more interesting at first but usually after that wears off it’s just not right. It’s best find someone similar to you if you’re looking for long term

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  • I would say, it depends on the person. THat phrase came from the fact that opposite magnets attract. Listen, it's hard to develop a relationship wether platonic or romantic, without having anything in common. However, I think it's more that different people are attracted to certain things, doesn't mean it's the opposite of them. It may be, or may not be.

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  • I think that opposites attract, but more of hobbies and past times rather than personalities. As long as they don't clash they should be ok. So as long as he is comfortable staying home with you every once in a while, and you don't mind joining him out, every once in a while it should be ok. Worst case is you find out that you dont like it and you can try something else!

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  • Not always true. If you are completely different from your partner, most probably your interests, habits and ideas may oppose each other. Then, you may begin to judge each other's way of thinking, way of living and attitude towards life. This is not good at all.

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  • It is not always true. I am basically how you describe yourself, but that doesn't mean i am specifically attracted to drunk party girls. You just have to seek happiness, and i know you will find it! If you need any help, im here!!

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  • Getting drunk and partying is something you can do without your girlfriend. I can enjoy a night just as much with just friends. However for everything aside that you need other things. That's where you come in. I believe that is what's happening now.

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  • Listen carefully. I am into identical relationship right now, my girl is caring and compassionate like you and I am a happy go lucky guy. Now imagine, Every trait that defines you is absent in him or present in minimal quantity therefore it is natural for him to be lured towards you and I can bet that attraction for him from your side would be intense too. But in the end I want to say just one thing, don't change yourself for him.
    Ps : wait till you get in a relationship wid him, you will witness a totally new side to him.

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  • My girlfriend and I couldn't be more different to my girlfriend... and it makes things so much more exciting... ferocious arguments followed by make up sex!!!

    It adds to the passion!!!

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  • We attract because we crave something we don't have or we are not. But in the long run the low compavility will be a deal breaker

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  • Depends on the opposites. Two people with opposite views might not attract, or people who have opposite interests might not attract, but someone who is more of an extrovert might attract an introvert

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  • I'm in the exact situation you're in, my girlfriend is shy but i'm not, i'm outgoing and popular in my faculty, but we live each other and we get along very well

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  • It depends on the situation. Ultimately, you can never be sure when you'll feel attracted to someone. They could be very similar, or the opposite of you.

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  • I'd say its very true as it is your mysterious side that has him probably so intoxicated with you.

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  • Yes. Their different but equal qualities and abilities compliment each other and make up for anything each may lack.

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  • Not it's not true at all in fact psychological studies have shown the opposite.

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  • Just my theory but they attract but they don't last.

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  • It's a romantic concept, but from my experience it doesn't work

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