Sometimes I want to ask my boyfriend for an open relationship?

I just hate that i am so young. I am only 20 and my boyfriend is 25. He got to live the life of being young and hooking up and not taking things seriously. However, i have been with him for 1.5 years. I just started school at a 4 years University this fall, and sometimes i just want a new experience. I want to be able to go out and have sex with friends i find attractive, or party and have fun being young. But, i also love my boyfriend dearly. He is a great guy, but i just want to be young and have fun, and be desired !!

My boyfriend has mentioned during a discussion that he would forgive me for cheating ( but this DOES NOT MEAN I WILL CHEAT!!) but, this shows to me the kind of person he is. Someone who is forgiving and loving - so, i feel if i asked him for an open relationship, he’d maybe agree? It isn’t that he isn’t enough for me, but i just want to be young and have fun. Maybe i should break up :/

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Oh boy. So much wrong with this.

    1. Do you not see this as a red flag that your boyfriend says he would be ok with you cheating? Doesn't that seem like he isn't really committed?

    2. Did you consider just going all out yolo-lifestyle will take away from a proper future love and companionship? (because it does)

    3. Did you think about what you REALLY want?

    4. Did you really think about why you want random, unemotional sex? Is it something you truly want or is it just the forbidden fruit?

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    • He said to me, during a conversation we were having with a friend (we were talking about her and her boyfriend and how he’s at a wedding). I asked my boyfriend “if i got drunk and cheated, you would forgive me?” And he said “yes i would! What is so wrong with me forgiving a mistake?” I told him, i don’t think you should forgive me for cheating, even if drunk.

      Cheating, and having open relationships are different. And no, i don’t want random sex with random people.

      I said, i want to have sex with whoever i want to. Whether they be people i know, or friends (male or female)

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    • I don’t think it does. I wouldn’t forgive my bf:/ But, despite what most people believe from my question - i am not the type to cheat.

    • I didn't imply you were cheatnig. I was implying you to take a step back and think of the consequences of all of this. And if you think about it honestly, then the consequences will outnumber the pros most likely.

      And with the 2nd point I meant that an increase of sexual-partners directly decreases your chance of long-term partnership and commitment. There is a lot of statistical evidence about that.

Most Helpful Girl

  • So you want to share your darling? If you are ok with it, fine.

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What Guys Said 25

  • Break up. Not for you. For him.
    He deserves better.

    Reading this made me see how far from being human we've gone.

    I want out of this world.

    What kind of a woman.. you mam' desire the sexual freedom of a man. And seem to have his libido

    I know we live in the modern age and women fight for their rights to be equal to men.. but come on! This is over the top

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    • We are all sexual beings. Women want variety and experience just as much as men.

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    • female sexuality? This reeks of liberated thinking.

      Im all for freedom but thats too liberated for my taste.

      I dont appreciate your attack on emotions and bullying by calling people sad and insecure

    • You're too much of a freedom fighter. I grew up in democracy. Our women are fighters too.
      Also i do not shame daughters for being sexual and "HUMAN" (in bold letters) women are people i know.

      Full potential is fine. Adventurism opens windows and opportunities. But it dosent have to equate to sex with different boys. Draw a line.
      Full potential can be reached by meeting people and making friends. Not by sleeping with different boys.
      Remember that a woman carries the risk of 9 months being tied down. That can extend up to 18 years depending on her choices.

      Wanna bring up abortion issues freedom fighter?

  • I think it would be a bad idea, especially if it is you bringing it up and not him. You can explain it and sugar coat it in any way possible, but I promise you that all he is going to hear is "I want to go out and fuck a bunch of other guys". Please, before you get mad and say I am taking it out of context, I am NOT saying that is what you WANT. I am saying that is what he will HEAR. Guys, especially those in love, generally don't like to think of their girl having sex with anyone else much less KNOW she wants to and/or is going to. Just because he is the forgiving type does not mean he will gladly let you be with someone else. It just means he has a good heart and would forgive you if you made a transgression. If you ask him, beware that he may say yes, but not because he is ok with it. Rather, it will be because he knows it is what you want and he wants to make you happy. It could be detrimental in the long run. Plus, bear in mind that an open relationship works both ways. He may find another girl to have sex with. You have to consider whether you are ok with that.

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  • I wouldn't do that. If your boyfriend is as you describe him and as I think him to be, an open relationship will kill him deep inside.
    Keep in mind, not everyone's youthful adventures are the same.
    You can still enjoy life and be adventurous while in a relationship. Infact, you have someone to share all your youthful adventures with.

    If you do choose to break it with someone it seems you really like... well... good luck, have fun.

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  • Your boyfriend is probably cheated on you who the fuck are going to say something like that, that I would forgive you or you are with a beta male faggot. If you what a open relationship mention it to him but most open relationships don't end well. I had a friend she did that her idea so she could fuck a guy from work and her boyfriend ended up dumping her and fell in love with another women to this day she is upset about it and talks about how she fuck up so much.

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  • Everything has a cost. Freedoms have a responsibilities, and every action has a cost. Most girls think in a 'one and done' thought process, but that's how you get constant divorces and women cheating on their husbands. So go ahead, just realize that afterwards guys won't look at you as much of a long term prospect.

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    • That’s ok. I am still young, i have my whole life to settle down.

    • From a certain perspective, it would seem so. But things happen to everyone, your pool of acceptable mates drastically lowers pass 23.

    • Yes. But, i am only 20. I don’t want to get married until i graduate college and have a career.

  • www.court-records.net/.../miles-shrug(d).gif

    Naaaa, you don't really want to remain faithful with your boyfriend because you fantasise about sleeping with other men. You constantly speak about your "young" age as if that makes much difference.

    Sounds you want to ride the cock carousel and you are trying hamster your way into it. "Be desired?" By whom? Not your boyfriend it seems...

    Just do yourself and your boyfriend a favour and just break up. You will end up resenting him if you don't.

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  • I lost my teenage years tpp and for as much as this is a personal thing to overcome my experience of trying to be a kid again ended up with unsatisfying experiences

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  • 5 years isn't all that much difference. But if you want an open relationship then bring it up to him. He may be down for it, you never know unless you ask

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  • Can't have both, there are some people who do this but I can't say how common. If you want to hook up you need to break up.

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  • I understand you dick hungry. I know this girl whos 22 who said exactly what you did and is doing the same thing. Get as much dick as you can young then later get married. Lol

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