Asking her why she didn't think it would work out?

So i confessed to my best friend recently and she rejected me. I've accepted it and we're still friends, though it gets awkward for me at times. I want to ask her why she thinks it wouldn't have worked out between us but I'm not sure if thats the right move? Also, do you think there's a chance if i waited and confessed again some other time in the future? Whats the chances of her accepting me the second time?
So i'm defnitely not going to ask her about it. I'm not sure if i can be friends with her normally though. Just when I thought I was ok with her as a friend, she sends me a photo of her doing something funny and i'm in love with her again. I know i should move on. She told me she'd understand if i didn't want to text her anymore. But I feel guilty if I stopped. Its not like she asked me to confess and make things awkward. Though it would have been nice if she had realised I had a crush on her.


Most Helpful Girl

  • If she is uninterested than that can't really change. She might not be physically attracted to you and that's hard to change. Sounds like she's not the one ):


Most Helpful Guy

  • It sounds like you put yourself in the friendzone from day one and thought she'd just let you out once you worked up the courage to ask her out.

    You'd best think a long time about whether you are capable of being just friends with this girl. If you're going to remain friends then you need to remove her forever from your mind as being a potential mate. That means you NEVER ask her about being romantically involved again and you also never ask her why she said no; and you must never hold it against her that she turned you down. That has no room in a friendship.

    If you can't do all of those things then you need to tell her your interest in her is romantic and you can't see her as just a friend. Wish her luck. Tell her you'd love to hear from her if she ever changes her mind. Then tell her goodbye and never contact her again.

    This may sound harsh, but you are the one who changed the dynamic of your relationship, and if you can't honor her wish for your relationship to stay platonic, then you owe it to her (and to yourself) to explain that and to end it.

    What you cannot do is agree to stay her friend while harboring some secret agenda to make her love you in the future. You will only end up hurt and humiliated later on and you will have deserved it.

    • Yeah i did get friendzoned. A part of me wants to say I can't be friends with her anymore and end it between us because somedays its too much.
      Another part of me wants to remain friends with her because I can't imagine not talking to her anymore. We became quite close friends and I'd hate to lose that.
      She did ask me if i want her to keep messaging or not and said she'll understand either answer.

    • Either way you need to make a decision and not play the victim. She did not ask you - you asked her.

      There will always be consequences to our actions that we cannot foresee. Learning to deal with those consequences is part of maturing as an adult. Being straightforward with her and being true to your word are part of being a man.

      Take some time to think about what you want to do, but there really are no other options; and you owe it to her to put this to rest, one way or the other.

    • She did realize it. Women are not stupid. You just made things weird by bringing it front and center.

      At this point I think you need to move on, but you're not going to. You clearly can't put your feelings aside and have a friendship with this person. It's going to come back to bite you, but hey, good luck...

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Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 2

  • Don't obsess over it. Stay friends or move on.

  • dont ask her that. chances are you either won't be satisfied with the answer or the answer will just cause you more pain and stress. dont mull over this. just move on as best you can.


What Guys Said 4

  • Yeah you can ask her. I did when it happened to me years ago, try and avoid it if it's still awkward though - maybe when you are comfortable again. And personally I would avoid asking again, just stay close and if she gets feelings she'll come to you. Other than that, I'd say assume she won't change her mind and live your life with other girlfriend's

    • Thanks. I honestly thought she was the one though. Can't even imagine some other girl.

    • I was the same. This was 4 years ago. Took me a while but had 2 girlfriend's since then and still with my current one, and she's still my beat friend :)

  • Slim to none. Move on.

    It's hard, but I'm just telling you how it is.

    You're going to be stuck with her, thinking one day she'll change her mind, but she probably won't. Like 99%. Better use that time to find a different girl that will also like you like that.

    You may ask her why, but I think you may not even understand her answer, she may not even know herself, she just perceives you as a friend.

  • That girl is telling you that he is not attracted to you. Most likely he is using you to get free rides or free meals or free stuffs or... But there is a lot you can do

    • She doesn't get anything free from me. Besides, for gifts she spent more money than me. I do travel and meet her often though.

    • Ok i said most likely... I believe in that, however, what she said is an cliché excuse to spare your feelings... She is not attracted to you

  • Asking a second time is just you convincing her that the friendship is dead now since you dont have the ability to keep it platonic


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